


Under the Tatooine Suns

by BatuuPrincess



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Damerey Endgame, Discussion of Death, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I repeat, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, there are spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:53:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21906283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatuuPrincess/pseuds/BatuuPrincess
Summary: *TROS SPOILERS*After the end of the war, Rey finds what she believes is peace and purpose on Tatooine. It's a quiet life, farming moisture and repairing ships on the side, perfect for the newly minted Rey Skywalker. But when an unexpected visitor shows up, she realizes that instead of starting a new life on her own terms, she may have just been hiding from the one she already had.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 885
Kudos: 723





	1. A Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, this is a very spoilery fic, so if you haven't seen TROS and want to go in blind, look away.
> 
> For those who are good to go, welcome! I have a lot of feelings about this movie, so I'm going to work through them here. I am not going to retcon anything that happened in the movie, including *that* kiss, but rather, see what happens to Rey's feelings about it down the road, perhaps with a little perspective. If you can't stand that kiss or its implications, this probably isn't the story for you, even though it will not be shown in a positive light. I'll warn you, this will probably get pretty angsty later on as the main character was dead for a few minutes and I can't imagine that not leaving a scar on a person. Though, as always, this is 100% Damerey Endgame and a happy ending guaranteed.
> 
> This first chapter is short and sweet and very much just a set up, so I hope you join me for the ride!

It was quiet on Tatooine. Some days that was the planet’s best quality. Most days it threatened to drive Rey insane. Today was one of those days.

Everything seemed so clear after that final battle. Her… grandfather, she supposed, for lack of a better word, was dead, and Ben, well Ben had come back and saved her. In that final shining moment as the Final Order came crashing down, she’d been so grateful that he’d chosen to save her, that he had given the final scraps of his own lifeforce for her to live, that she'd done the unthinkable. 

Their first and only kiss - Rey’s first and only kiss - had been too brief and then he’d passed into the Force to join the thousand generations before him. 

Rey found herself heartbroken, but not for any reason she would have thought. 

She’d done everything they’d asked of her. Palpatine was dead. Ben had turned. All of the Orders, First and Final, were gone. A thousand generations lived in her now, and she was still alone.

Not right away, of course. Those first few moments after setting back down on the Resistance base had been full of people, people she’d known and worked with side by side for the better part of a year shouting her name and patting her back. The energy of it all crackled in the Force, the relief and elation and yes, even grief, but none brighter than the two men patiently waiting for her at the edge of the crowd.

She didn’t really believe she had actually made it home until Finn and Poe took her in their arms.

The hug was messy, limbs wrapped any which way, a hand - Poe’s, it could only be Poe’s - grabbing on to hers for dear life as they all openly wept, tears hitting shoulders and cheeks and leaving them all a bit damp in the already humid jungle. They’d done it. They’d fought against unbeatable odds and _won._

For all their talk of order and might, the First Order crumbled fairly quickly after Exegol, planet after planet rising up to end their control with Finn, Rey, and Poe leading the charge. The Trio, that’s what they called them on base, never one without the other two nearby. They fought and won and lived as a unit until the First Order was nothing but a bad memory across the galaxy. A new government would have to be formed, new laws created so that they weren’t fighting a third Galactic War in another decade or two. Perhaps third time was the charm for a Galactic Republic.

That was when it got hairy. There was no place for a ragtag group of Resistance fighters in a proper government. Only the few got sucked up into the rebuilding efforts, Rose, a couple of former Junior Senators that Leia had recruited, and Connix, while the rest were left to flounder helplessly and take pity jobs.

Finn was the first to go. He and Jannah and Lando were off to find as much about the former stormtroopers as was possible with the First Order in shambles, Finn’s newly confessed Force sensitivity leading the way. Without Finn there to play peacekeeper, her friendship with Poe flagged, the loss of their third throwing them both off balance. 

Shortly after, Rose was conscripted into the new government, then Connix, leaving the rest of them to be trotted out on special occasions for various visiting dignitaries. Rey found herself in fancy rooms, wearing fancy clothes, getting introduced as the Last Jedi to fancy people who examined her like a zoo animal. The last of her kind.

She couldn’t even be mad, not when she had no experience in anything but fighting and the Force. Finn had Jannah and Lando. Poe had what was left of the Resistance. Rose had the newest Republic. Chewie could finally return to his family. Leia was gone. Without the war, where did Rey fit in? 

_Perhaps that was just the way of the Jedi_ , she thought as she built her new lightsaber. It seemed fitting to return the remains of the Skywalker lightsabers to the place it had all started. And if she found some semblance of peace, well that was certainly a welcome surprise.

So she’d returned BeeBee to his rightful owner, and come back here to start a new life, one that wasn’t determined by who sired her or where her blood came from. It had started out as a whim, calling herself by her old Masters’ family name when that old woman asked, but it became a door, one she could walk through and become someone new. Here, she would be Rey Skywalker, a nobody with a fancy name.

Passing the time had been easy at first. She found work as a mechanic in town while spending the rest of her waking hours fixing up the old Lars Homestead. It had taken forever to get rid of all the sand and reinforce the caved-in walls, to carve a home out of the abandoned structure. Still, six months into her exile, she found herself drowning in the quiet.

And six months after that, the silence had grown deafening, Rey’s entire body buzzing with it, so that when she heard a ship approach her little homestead and set down, she latched onto it with everything she had.

By the time she skittered around to the landing zone, the ramp was lowering. It looked like one of their ships, the Resistance, battered and half-broken but victorious nonetheless. She waited with bated breath as a figure emerged from the ship, perhaps Finn had come to see her…

Her heart sank when the familiar figure of Poe Dameron appeared.

It’s not that she didn’t like Poe Dameron. He just crashed her ship, underestimated her at every turn, challenged her in ways that left her forever frustrated.

Ok, maybe she didn’t like Poe Dameron.

“Hey,” he said, stepping into the sand. His was dressed more casually than she’d ever seen him, a loose off-white shirt tucked into plain, dark pants, his boots low and well-worn and rather unremarkable. 

“Hey,” she replied, her voice hoarse and crackling from disuse. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Hey.”

His smile didn’t touch his eyes as he stepped forward, simply taking her in. “You look good. Different.”

He couldn’t just mean clothes, as her own attire had changed little since it all ended. Bland beiges and greys dominated her miniscule closet, colors light enough not to suffocate her in the punishing heat of two suns. She still had a distinct preference for trousers, even though a dress like the ones the women in town wore would probably be a lot cooler in this climate, and the draped fabric she’d always worn on Jakku continued to serve her well. 

But she supposed she stood taller, her figure more filled out thanks to the years of steady food and exercise. Not wanting to focus on the careful way he looked at her, she opted for a quip. Once upon a time, that had kind of been their thing. “I know, I’ve changed my hair.”

And she had. It was probably the most changed part of her, come to think of it, the longish strands hanging loose just past her shoulder blades. The former standard three buns now felt almost perverse, some weird homage to a child who had been both loved and sold by her parents. To a woman who had saved the man who stalked her nightmares.

Poe went white for a second, that not-quite smile sliding right off his face. 

She quirked her head at him, genuinely concerned. “Are you okay?”

As quickly as it had gone, that smile was back, though the color was slower to return. “Yeah, yeah, it just reminded me of something Leia once said. On Crait.” 

The silence stretched once more, their reunion becoming more and more awkward by the moment.

Just when she thought she couldn’t take a second more of it, BB-8 came zooming down the ramp, beeping in binary so rapid, Rey could only catch every other word.

“Slow down, slow down,” she laughed, crouching to see eye to sensor with the bubbly little droid. Whatever ambivalence she felt toward his owner, she loved BB-8 like one of her own. “I’ve missed you, too.”

They spent a quick few seconds catching up, Rey taking away from the droid that life was now very boring in the aftermath of the Final Battle. It wasn’t until they’d almost finished their conversation when D-O finally peeked his head out from inside the ship. It seemed he was no less skittish than when she left over a year ago, but he screwed up his courage enough to say a quick “H-h-hello,” in his modulated little voice. "M-missed you."

“Hello, Dio,” she replied, remembering that he didn’t like to be touched before she reached out a hand. A smile spread across her face. "I've missed you, too."

Finally, she straightened up, looking from Poe to BeeBee (while D-O hid behind the larger droid). “So, what brings you three to Tatooine.”

Poe, who had been watching their exchange with the first real smile she’d seen since he arrived, absently rubbed at the back of his neck. “Uh, just wanted to see how you were doing out here, maybe get away from all the rebuilding and politics happening.” He paused, flashing her one final, dazzling smile. “See an old friend.”

That raised Rey’s suspicions. While they had been friendly, most notably during that last rush before facing Palpatine and all his ridiculous plans, they certainly couldn’t be considered “old friends.” Not with how it was towards the end. Something wasn’t adding up here.

“No, really, what’s going on?” She fought the urge to cross her arms, take up a defensive position.

Poe’s warm, brown eyes dropped to the sand at their feet. “Uh, turns out there isn’t much room for a scruffy, washed up pilot in the new regime. Peace is… different than I was expecting.”

That was all too familiar to the last remnant of a long-dead religion. Rey could appreciate the sentiment. She too had become a spare part in those final days. 

“Well, come on, then. Let’s get out of the sun.” She led them across the midday sand, the heat seeping through her boots and into bare feet.

The shade of the house was a welcome relief, Rey busying herself with setting out water before finding herself once again face to face with Poe Dameron. It was no less awkward the second time around.

Poe took a long sip of water, his swallow audible in the silent house. “So, what have you been getting up to these days?”

“I see to the moisture vaporators most days. Meditation. Training. And I do a little work as a mechanic in town.”

“Mos Espa?”

“Eisley,” she corrected. Hearing it out loud, she realized that much like Luke on Ahch-To, her daily routine didn’t exactly leave her busy.

“Alone?” he asked carefully, taking another sip. 

Rey wasn’t exactly sure what he was asking. Did he think she had a companion? Someone to warm her bed at night? “Yes.”

“Would you mind some company?” Something must have passed across her face, because he was immediately backpedaling. “I mean, I could help with the - what did you call them? Vaporators? Take odd jobs in town. I mean, these outer rim outposts are always looking for pilots-”

“Okay.”

He stopped his babbling long enough to look at her in surprise. “Okay?”

She wouldn’t pretend like her answer hadn’t surprised even her a little. She must really be lonely. “Yeah, you can stay. I could use the help during the harvest, and it will be nice to have company.” She smiled down at BeeBee doing his version of a happy dance around their feet. “From both of you.”

"And me?" said D-O, peaking out from behind the kitchen wall.

Rey laughed, feeling lighter than she had in months. "And you, Dio."

The smile finally touched Poe's eyes, the skin fanning out in soft crinkles. “Thank you, Rey. You won’t regret this.”

She regretted it almost immediately.


	2. A Late Night Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected run-in in the middle of the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Babu Frick voice: Heeey-heeeey! 
> 
> It's been a minute, but I'm back and ready to focus on life post-TROS. As promised, we get a little angsty in here, but I am all about the happy endings. Hope you enjoy!

Later that first night, Rey stared up at the ceiling and sighed. Sleep was elusive these days, but she’d learned quickly not to fight the insomnia when it invariably hit. In fact, she sometimes welcomed it, especially those nights she woke, screaming and sweating, struggling to outrun the ghosts that chased her through the dark. Dying, it turned out, didn’t come without consequences.

She pushed that from her mind as she made her way through the darkened house and into the kitchen. Many a night had she sat at the table and nursed a cup of tea, waiting for her eyes to become heavy enough for sleep once more. It was practically a routine these days.

She went about her ritual in silence - filling the kettle from the tap, lighting the stove, letting her mind wander as she waited for the water to boil.

“Rey?”

Though she had lied to Poe - she hadn’t meditated or practiced her forms or done anything Jedi-related in ages - her first instinct upon hearing a voice in the darkness was to call for her saber. It was ignited and in her hand practically as soon as she thought about it, Poe’s terror limned in the golden glow of her blade.

“Why are you sneaking up on me?” she shouted at him once she realized it was just Poe. Though, that knowledge did nothing to stop her heart from hammering against her ribs. For a second she’d thought…

Nevermind what she’d thought. It was impossible anyway. All of her enemies were dead, what remained of them left to rot on Exegol. The only person she had to fight these days was herself. And maybe the man in front of her.

Speaking of, he put his hands up. “Sorry! Shit, sorry, I thought you heard me behind you!” His own chest was heaving in short, panting bursts, his palpable fear leaving a tickling sensation in the back of her throat.

Rey’s pulse beat at her temples, an unceasing thrum. “I forgot you were here!” They were both still yelling, the sound far too loud for the tiny kitchen.

“No shit!” he shouted back, looking pointedly at the saber still ignited and at the ready in her hands. “Does that really need to be on right now?”

“Right.” The saber clicked off, Rey lowering her arms back down to her sides.

They stood staring at each other in silence across the now dark room, chests both heaving slightly as the after images of the saber danced across Rey’s vision. Time stretched, and for a second Rey thought they’d be stuck like this forever, doomed to face each other in silence for eternity, when the kettle started to whistle.

“Tea?” she asked, a short laugh bleeding some of the tension from the room. 

Poe gave her a weak smile. “Sure.”

They settled at the table with the lights on, Rey wrapping both hands around the warm mug. The tea was fruity with a hint of spice she couldn’t remember well enough to name, something that she’d picked up on her last foray into town. It wasn’t as good as the Gatalentan tea she’d found last time, but it would do.

It always helped to focus on more concrete things when she got like this. Granted, she normally didn’t have an audience for one of these moods, Poe’s steady presence more distracting than she cared to admit.

Not quite ready to meet his eyes, Rey took a testing sip, finding the brew still too hot to drink.

The scalding temperature didn’t stop Poe from taking a gulp. He made a face, presumably at the taste, before turning his attention back to her across the table. “Can’t sleep?”

She told herself he wasn’t prying, not when she’d almost just killed him in the dark kitchen in the middle of the night. Or maybe it was just small talk. It had been so long since she’d been around other humans, at least regularly, that she’d forgotten how much small talk was required. Either way, he was owed an explanation, she supposed. 

She tried another tentative sip before answering, “Yeah. I have some trouble with it these days.”

That was the understatement of the century, but there was no need to go into all the deep, dark recesses of her mind right now. 

“You wanna talk about it?” 

Ok, now he was definitely prying. Maybe that would have flown when they were both a part of the Resistance, when her and Poe and Finn had been nearly inseparable. But she hadn’t seen the man in front of her for nearly a year, and now he expected her to open up just like that?

Rey found herself glad the droids were off charging somewhere. BB-8 didn’t need to witness this. 

She couldn’t keep the slight annoyance out of her voice when she snapped back, “Do you want to talk about what you’re really doing here? Because I think we can both agree the ‘visiting an old friend’ excuse is banthashit.”

Poe looked just as surprised as she was to hear the words out loud. Back in the day, it had been Poe who picked the fights - if you could even call them that - and Rey whose temper got the better of her and joined in. Oh, how the tables had turned.

Poe scrubbed a hand across his face. He looked just as tired as she felt, eyes heavy and chin sagging. “You’re right. I do owe you the truth.” 

That was… not what she expected.

As quickly as the anger had risen, it disappeared, leaving Rey with only her guilt to contend with.

He settled back in his chair, bringing the mug to his lips before going on. “After you and Finn went, there was nothing left for me. I could never stand the dog and pony show on Coruscant, but this was worse. This time, I was the pony, or maybe it was the dog, who knows, but what I do know is that they didn’t want me for my expertise or experience. They just wanted to show me off.”

“That’s what they did with me, too,” she said so quietly it could have been a whisper. But judging by the soft smile on Poe’s face, he heard.

“I know. So, I left. Went home. Figured I could try my hand at farming, follow in Pop’s footsteps. I lasted three months.”

Poe Dameron, great hero of the Resistance, the General who led the final stand on Exegol, a farmer? Rey laughed in spite of herself. 

“The whole time I was on Yavin 4, I had this restless energy, a pull that I couldn’t ignore. Drove Dad crazy. When I got in that ship, I had no clue where to go, so I followed that feeling. I wasn’t even surprised when it brought me here. To you.”

Rey blinked at him, struggling to make sense of the words. “What you’re saying is that the Force brought you… to me?”

Poe nodded. “Yup. You can see why I didn’t lead with that.”

“I wouldn’t have believed you if you had,” she said, earning a brittle laugh from Poe. She took another sip of tea, giving herself a little time to wrap her head around that information. The Force had brought them together. Why was she surprised by this anymore? “But, it does make some sense. You know, Finn said something similar to me shortly after Exegol.”

“Me too.” A pause. “You think he was right?”

Rey chewed that over a second. The Force had guided her quite a bit over the past two years. Hell, she’d followed it here, too. Why wouldn’t Poe be the same?

It actually made a lot of sense. Not many pilots had the level of skill that Poe exhibited in the cockpit, fewer still had the instincts that had kept him alive all these years. In fact, besides herself, there was no other pilot that could have lightspeed skipped the Falcon and lived to tell the tale.

Rey nodded. “I do.” 

Well, it was now or never. He’d answered her question, so it was only fair that she did the same. She took a deep breath to steady herself. “I haven’t slept since Exegol.”

Poe’s eyebrows disappeared under his curls.

“Through the night. I haven’t slept through the night since Exegol.” She could hear the hitch in her chest as she tried to take another deep breath. “Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I see him. Palpatine. The throne. Myself on it. I remember the weight of that dagger in my hand. What it felt like when I...” She trailed off, unable to say the word. It was just four letters. Hell, two were even the same. Should have been easy.

“Rey?” 

A hand reached for hers where it was fisted on the table. She blinked, once, twice, realizing that she’d been staring blankly for an indeterminate amount of time, chest heaving like she’d just run the old training course with Leia. 

Poe’s voice was soft, but his grip was firm as he fought to bring her attention back to him. “Hey, it’s ok. It’s over now. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

Rey nodded, unsure of what to do with Poe’s kindness. Not that he had ever been unkind to her. Just that he usually reserved all that patience and understanding for Finn. She must have been in quite the state.

“Listen, I know we haven’t always had the easiest friendship. Not like you and Finn. Or me and Finn. Or really, anybody and Finn.” He dropped his eyes to where their hands were still joined on the table, as if trying to prove him wrong. A wry smile inched across his face. “I believe the word you preferred was ‘difficult.’”

Rey laughed at that, a soft heat spreading across her cheeks. She remembered that particular conversation, when Poe had set the Falcon on fire and Rey had accidentally dropped a tree BB-8 and their words were heated in a way that, looking back, didn’t actually feel contentious. Back then, she’d thought that maybe...

But, no. That had been before. Before she learned who she was. Before Exegol. Before she made her choices.  _ Before _ . 

Before and after. Her life had been cleaved in two by what happened on Exegol. Somewhere, deep down, Rey worried that she would never be the same.

And yet, Poe was still talking. “But I think we could be good for each other. As friends, of course.” His neck flushed. “I mean, the Force brought me here, so it can’t be wrong. Right?”

Rey laughed, not having the heart to tell him that while the Force was always right, it didn’t always have the same agenda as you. Hell, it didn’t have an agenda at all. That’s not how the Force worked. But if you followed its pull, it could lead you in some unexpected directions.

Instead, she said, “I already said you could stay here. You don’t have to convince me twice.”

“Well, it seemed like you were having second thoughts, what with the whole lightsaber in the face thing.” He looked down to where the offending blade sat just next to their still-twined hands. Gently, Rey tugged hers out of his grip.

“We’ll start on your room tomorrow,” she said, ignoring the lightsaber comment. Now was not the time to get into it. She grabbed their mugs, bringing them over to the sink. “Get you off the couch.”

The tea had worked its magic or maybe it was the company, but either way her eyes were getting heavier with each passing moment. With a little bit of luck, she’d finally be able to get some sleep.

Poe watched her carefully as she busied herself with the dishes. “I won’t say no to that.” He stretched his arms over his head, Rey turning away with heated cheeks when his shirt rode up to reveal a sliver of flat stomach. What a strange reaction. “On that note, I’m off to bed. ‘Night, Rey.”

“Good night, Poe,” she whispered back, trying not to stare as he disappeared into the darkened hallway.


	3. A Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey experience some growing pains in their new arrangement. Later, Rey wakes from a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning out to meander a bit more than I expected, so thanks to everyone who is sticking with this. I swear there is a plot buried around here somewhere.
> 
> A quick warning: Rey has a nightmare here where she loses her self a bit and stops breathing (think more along the lines of sleep apnea than her being in any real danger). Nothing is graphic.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

It wasn’t easy letting someone into the life she had carved out for herself here, not when Rey had grown used to the quiet solitude of the homestead, to doing things her own way. She’d lived most of her life on her own. Her time in the Resistance was the exception, not the rule. It didn’t help that Poe was always underfoot, asking how her day was, wanting to come with her when she went into Mos Eisley for supplies, joining her as she looked up toward the stars.

She found that things were different without the hustle and bustle of the base around them. That they were different. She’d once thought of Poe as meticulous, dedicated, a natural leader. But without the routine that life in the Resistance brought, he was nothing short of chaotic.

He bounced from one task to another, never quite finishing anything. On the work bench alone there were two sensors and an old power coupling that he was “definitely” planning to come back to, though Rey couldn’t help but notice he hadn’t touched any of it in days. Not to mention the mess that seemed to follow him everywhere he went. Already, Rey had tripped over spanners and dirty t-shirts and even Poe’s datapad, all left in various places throughout the homestead. And don’t even get her started on the dishes in the sink.

Poe Dameron was a lot to handle on a good day. And Rey was fresh out of those.

Even so, an uneasy truce cropped up between them after the revelations of that late-night rendezvous, both Rey and Poe tacitly agreeing to tip-toe around each other as they navigated this new life as friends.

It lasted three whole days.

She’d been on her way to check vaporator 33 with BB-8 - it had been sending out weird error messages in an archaic form of binary every half hour - when she noticed the ramp was down on the Falcon. All it took was one look inside for her take off in search of the culprit.

She found him elbows deep in the guts of the speeder they salvaged the day before.

“Poe!” 

He jerked up, the crack of his skull against the durasteel audible even a few feet away.

D-O took one look at her as she squared off in front of the speeder and promptly rolled to hide behind the tool box with an, “U-Uh-oh.” 

Poe rubbed at his curls. “Uh-oh is right, what the hell, Rey?”

After three days of biting back comments and putting up with his moods (because Poe Dameron had _moods_ ), she was more than ready to blow off a little steam.

“Did you leave the ramp down on the Falcon?” she asked, crossing her arms. Next to her, BB-8 rocked back and forth on the sand, his photoreceptor moving from Poe to Rey and back again.

Poe looked guilty for approximately one second before he started hedging. “Well, I was over there-”

“Did you,” she interrupted, carefully enunciating each and every word, “leave the ramp down on the Falcon?”

“Maybe? I was planning to look at the sub-light alternators but then I remembered that we still needed to get this up and running. What’s the big deal?”

“What’s the big deal?” She laughed, the sound mirthless and bitter to her ears. “Just that the Falcon is now infested sand skitters.”

“Better than womp rats. What’s one more stowaway at this point?” He got to his feet with a smirk, dusting the sand off his pants. “Maybe they’ll thin out the Porgs.”

Of course he’d make a joke. Everything these days was a joke to him.

Rey made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat - part growl, part scream - before turning on her heel and heading back toward the Falcon. The vaporator would have to wait.

Poe didn’t take the hint.

“Hey, I was kidding!” he said, jogging to catch up with her. Rey didn’t so much as pause. “Come on, it was an honest mistake. It can’t be that bad.” 

He had finally caught up with her, one hand reaching out to touch her shoulder. She shook it off immediately, stopping dead to face him.

“Not that bad? They chewed through half the wiring in the ship. Do you know how many credits it will take to repair that? How much time?” She paused, giving that a moment to sink in. “Of course you wouldn’t, not when you haven’t finished one godsdamned project since you got here!”

Rey watched as the words hit their intended target, instantly feeling guilty when Poe’s face fell. 

“Listen, I’m sorry,” he said, absently rubbing the back of his neck. “Let me help you.”

Rey put up a hand to stop him. True, she felt bad. Just not bad enough to take him up on his offer. “No. You’ve done more than enough.”

With that, she stalked up the ramp and onto the Falcon, half expecting him to follow, to insist on helping the way Finn did when she got stubborn like this, but as one minute passed and then a second, she realized with a sinking feeling that he wasn't coming.

Naturally, a nightmare hit that same night.

It had been nearly a week since she’d had one, a few days before Poe showed up. Rey had thought ( _hoped, prayed, wished, begged_ ) that the worst was over, that she was finally out of the woods.

She should have known better. 

Rey never fell asleep that easily, not anymore. But the day had been long and the fight with Poe and subsequent silent dinner had sent her to seek out the relative privacy of her room early. The plan had been to read a bit, but as soon as she settled into bed her eyes grew heavy. 

One second she was deep in the throes of a battle between a daring X-wing pilot and his nemesis, a TIE ace hellbent on taking him down, and the next she found herself in the all-encompassing darkness that haunted her dreams.

The darkness pressed into her from every direction, an impenetrable, living shadow that swallowed the stars. A scream ripped from her throat.

It fell on deaf ears.

There was no one here, not the thousand generations before her, not Luke and Leia, not even herself, not really, only the infinite black. In this place, Rey no longer existed, the very edges of her self bleeding out, becoming one with the nothingness that surrounded her. She tried to take a breath, but there was no longer a she to do it - no lungs, no air, no breath to be had. Then faintly, almost like a whisper…

“Rey.”

The word was familiar, stirring something in the dark.

“Rey!”

More insistent now, not a whisper but a shout.

“ _Rey!”_

A firm shake released her from the dark, allowing her to take a great gasping breath. Her head spun, like she just surfaced from the bottom of a lake, her eyes flying open.

“Rey, shit, are you okay? I heard a scream, and when I got here you weren’t breathing…” 

The man had a hand on either of her arms, his eyes so wide, she could see a perfect ring of white encircling the melted chocolate of his irises. It took two breaths for her to realize he was talking to her, that she was _Rey_ , and another two for her to remember his name.

Her eyes fell closed, releasing twin rivulets of tears to fall down her cheeks in direct opposition of her next words. “I’m fine, Poe,” she lied, knowing full well that she wasn’t fooling him. She swallowed down the lump in her throat. “Just a bad dream.”

She waited for the smart ass remark, a quip to take her mind off everything, but none came. “Rey,” he practically breathed, concern written plainly all over his face. 

A worried beep from somewhere near Poe’s knees let her know that they were not alone. 

When she looked down, BeeBee had his photoreceptor trained on her while D-O hovered near the door, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger. Rey could relate.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, not sure which of them she was trying to convince.

Poe nodded, dropping his hands a second later as if it just registered that he was still holding on to her. 

He leaned back on his heels, the broad tan of his chest gleaming in the low light coming from the hallway. She took a moment to appreciate the elegant lines of his neck, the strong set of his shoulders, the delicately bunched muscles on his arms, trying not to focus on the small knot of scar tissue on his left bicep, a mirror to where her own scar had been. So much skin.

Her brain short-circuited a second later. _So much skin._ How had she missed that he was naked?

No, not naked, she realized as he stood to his full height, but clad in only a pair of close-fitting boxers and the ring he always wore around his neck. He ran a hand through his sleep-messy curls, Rey watching as a flush spread across his exposed chest. 

If he noticed her attention, he kindly didn’t say anything. “Uh, how about tea? I could make you some.”

It was obvious he was at a bit of a loss about what to do with her, but the effort did not go unnoticed. “Tea would be lovely.”

Poe nodded, the relief at being able to do something concrete written all over his face. “Coming right up.”

He disappeared with the droids a second later, Rey using the moment of privacy to fold in on herself.

Gods, they were getting worse. 

It had been a long time since she’d woken up screaming, and longer still since she was so shaken by a dream. The jury was still out on whether Poe’s presence made it better or worse, though she shuddered to think what would have happened had he not been there. While she told herself that she would have taken that breath either way, woken up on her own, she couldn't shake the lingering uncertainty. 

Just the thought of being stuck in that punishing darkness had her picking up a thin robe and scurrying into the open courtyard in the center of the homestead. It was the only place she could think after the dreams, the billions of stars overhead calming her, reminding her that she came back from that dark place.

Sometimes, she swore she could hear the whisper of the Jedi beyond. But not tonight. Tonight, she tucked her legs underneath her on the old couch she’d dragged out here to do just this and let the starlight wash over her, especially brilliant this far from any major settlement. It was one of the things she liked most about Tatooine, and this spot specifically. Not even on Jakku had the stars been so bright.

When Poe found her sitting there staring up at the sky, he was alone, minus the mug of steaming tea in either hand. He had found a shirt since she’d last seen him, a thin white one that stretched tightly across his chest. It was better that way, she reasoned as he handed her one of the mugs. Less distracting.

Rey took a sip, expecting the odd spicy bite of the new tea, but finding something else entirely. She frowned, looking up at Poe. “Where…”

“I grabbed it in town yesterday. It’s Gatalentan.” He paused, looking unsure for a second as he sat down next to her. “That’s the one you like, right?”

Rey looked from her mug to Poe and back again. She’d mentioned it once, in passing, days ago. And he bought it for her.

She took another sip.

“So,” he said, looking up from his mug to meet her eyes.

Rey tensed, steeling herself for what would surely be a full on inquisition…

“Did I ever tell you about the time I stole a yacht? For the Resistance, of course.”

Rey blinked. That was certainly not what she was expecting. “You stole a yacht?” 

A slow smile spread across his face. “So Karé, Arana, and I disguise ourselves as members of the Irving Boys…”

Poe was a master storyteller, always had been. Even back on base, he had a way of drawing people in, making them listen no matter how busy they were. It was a gift, one Rey was certainly not immune to as she listened to each twist and turn, the story unfolding in her mind’s eye as if she was watching it on a holoprojection.

Everything else faded away. Their earlier fight. The crushing darkness of her dreams. Even the stars seemed to dim a bit in the presence of Poe, though that probably had more to do with the fact that she was hanging on his every word, too caught up in the story to look skyward.

Slowly, she stopped shaking. Her heart slowed. She cracked a smile. At one point she even burst out laughing. But that was the point, wasn’t it? He was distracting her, and doing a damn good job of it.

It was nothing short of a miracle. She never fell back asleep when the nightmares hit. Yet slowly, but surely, her eyes grew heavy, lulled by the sweetness of the tea and the sound of his voice. 

Poe noticed her drooping eyes around the same time she did. “Here, lay back,” he said, offering up his shoulder like it was nothing.

And it should have been nothing. They’d been this close and more back in the Resistance, tight quarters and multi-day missions throwing all hopes of privacy (and in some cases, modesty) out the window. They slept together, ate together, changed together, all without batting an eye. 

But this felt different. Maybe it was the lack of Finn that made it feel more intimate. Or maybe it was how vulnerable she felt in the aftermath of the dream. Or maybe it was the simple fact that Poe had seen her like that. More than likely, it was all in her head.

She only hesitated a second more before leaning in, leaving her mug to grow cold and forgotten near their feet. Automatically, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, his fingers tracing soft designs on the bare skin of her arms. His stories, much like his voice, grew softer, switching from battles and blaster bolts to the places he’d been and the green, growing things he’d grown up with in the shadow of an old rebel base.

So it was to Poe’s voice that she fell asleep, eyes fluttering before finally falling closed.


	4. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey grow closer as they adjust to life on Tatooine and each other. But their fresh start is cut short by the revelation of Rey's last name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for sticking with this! I know I've been a little lax on updates, but I'm aiming for every Thursday here on out. Hope you enjoy!

The suns were already blazing overhead when Rey blinked awake. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d beat her to rising, but already a fine sheen of sweat had gathered on her face. 

She shifted on the couch, trying to piece together last night. There was the fight and the dream and some tea.  The last thing she remembered was Poe opening an arm…

She froze. Poe. 

A quick investigation showed that her head was currently in his lap, one of his hands tangled in her hair as he slept on, oblivious to her rising panic.

Or maybe not.

“Morning, sunshine,” he half mumbled, stretching out his neck above her with a groan. He disentangled his hand, Rey feeling the loss acutely. “You get some sleep?”

She sat up, not wanting to talk to Poe from his own lap. “Yeah. Pretty good.” It was a bold faced lie. That had been the best night of sleep she’d gotten since long before Exegol. Everything felt clearer, more crisp, her head free of fuzz for the first time in as long as she could remember. “What about you?”

He continued to move his neck from side to side, not bothering to hide a wince. “I think I’m getting too old to sleep sitting up.” Noticing her gearing up to say something, he put up a hand. “One night won’t kill me. Believe me, I’ve spent the night in far worse ways than with a pretty girl in my lap.” He stopped, his face screwing up in momentary confusion. “That sounded way less creepy in my head.”

Without warning, Rey burst out laughing, hands coming up to cover her rapidly heating face. Poe’s deep chuckle joined her own tinkling laughter, the two mixing into something almost musical to her ears.

Silence descended as their laughter petered out, the two left facing each other in the ensuing quiet.

As she looked at Poe’s fading smile from across the couch, she was reminded of a different set of dark eyes, ones that threatened to devour her whole anytime she came into view, the want and need laid bare no matter how many times she rejected it. Rejected him.

But Poe’s eyes, while so similar in color, only held warmth for her, soft crinkles radiating from the corners thanks to the leftovers of his smile.

Objectively, he was a handsome man. Even Rey could appreciate that the combination of messy curls and tanned skin and that soft, white smile would add up to something greater than the sum of its parts. She thought she’d memorized his face (and Finn’s) back during the war, when the hours stretched between missions and training, but the year apart had brought change. The slight squint to his eyes. The sprinkling of grey throughout his curls. The new lines around his lush mouth.

Rey blinked, the spell breaking. How kriffing long had she been staring at him?

Without warning, she found herself on her feet, Poe’s expression rearranging itself into surprise with the sudden movement. 

“Um, I should get moving. Lots to do today.” While she looked anywhere but at Poe, she could still feel the heat of his gaze on her.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Rey didn’t stick around long enough to hear it, scurrying off to panic behind her closed door.

This was Poe she was staring at, the teller of bad jokes, the starter of all arguments. Except maybe yesterday’s. He was a friend. Hells, at one point last year, she had convinced herself he was with Finn. What was she thinking?

Pushing down the strange feeling that settled low in her gut, she went about getting ready for the day. Thankfully, she didn’t run into Poe as she slipped out of the house and into the late morning suns, so much of the day already wasted.

Up the ramp of the Falcon she went, intent on fixing the damage from yesterday, but as soon as she hit the engine room she stopped dead.

It was repaired, all of it, every chewed wire and sparking socket replaced with new. She hadn’t even started on this last night, there had been too much to do. So how…

In her distraction, she didn’t hear Poe come up until he was directly behind her. “I was trying to tell you before you ran this morning.”

Rey bristled. She didn’t  _ run _ from him. Perhaps hastened or rushed or dashed, but certainly not run. Pushing down the annoyance, she asked, “When?”

Poe shrugged. “Last night. A little before you... woke up,” he added, diplomatically.

“This had to keep you up half the night,” she said, not bothering to keep the awe out of her voice. 

He waved her off. “It was my fault, after all. And you did the hard stuff. I just connected a few wires.”

Rey knew that wasn’t true, not when she’d barely even had a chance to get started after chasing out the skitters and calming the porgs last night. But she wasn’t about to call him on it, especially since it was his fault the Falcon needed repairs in the first place. He must have barely gotten to sleep when she woke up screaming.

She swallowed thickly, oddly emotional thanks to the not-so-simple gesture. He’d done this for her. Sometimes, she still couldn’t believe that people were just nice for the sake of being nice, with no expectation of repayment. 

“Thank you,” she said, the words sounding small to her ears. 

“Don’t mention it.” He ran a nervous hand through his shaggy curls. “Uh, I think I got the speeder up and running, so I was gonna head into Mos Eisley later to see if I could pick up any short range hauls. You wanna come with?”

There was plenty to do around here, but the thought of staying - alone - was weirdly repellent. “Sure. I’ll see if I can pick up any shifts with that mechanic in bay three-five.”

Poe nodded, the look on his face telling her he was also thinking of their rapidly dwindling credits, a predicament made worse by the Falcon repairs. Gone were the days when a smile and a contact could get them by on Resistance credit, a charge against Leia’s good name; they needed the real thing now.

“Ok, I’m gonna head over to vaporator 20 with BB-8 and try to figure out what’s going on. It errored out last night. Meet me in like an hour?”

“Sounds good,” she answered, waiting until he was well out of the Falcon to go and double check his work. She trusted him, of course. It was just for her own peace of mind.

Everything was exactly as she would have done it, save a single connection that could go either way. She had to admit she was impressed. Poe knew his stuff.

That out of the way, she found herself wandering the halls of the beloved ship.  _ Her _ beloved ship, she supposed, now that Chewie had made it official. 

More than anyplace else, the Millennium Falcon felt like home to her. In the time since Han died, she’d grown far too attached to the old bucket of bolts, tracing her memories of the last years through the halls of the ship.

There, where she’d cracked the compressor housing with her rough landing on Minfar. No matter how much Poe prodded, she still wouldn’t admit that was a crash. A hollow sound beneath her feet drew her eyes to the grate where she’d hidden with Finn, waiting for the First Order to capture them but finding Han Solo instead. If she followed this hall into the cockpit, she’d see the open panel where she’d bypassed the compressor, Han looking impressed despite himself. Instead, she ran her hand over a charred bit of paneling from when Poe blew both sub-alternators lightspeed skipping the Falcon.

Oh, she’d given him hell for that, and rightfully so. The Falcon was ancient and certainly not equipped for that nonsense, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Back when she’d isolated herself on Ajan Kloss, letting them take the Falcon on their missions felt like sending a little piece of herself along with them. Like she was giving them her very heart. There was no other ship she trusted to keep her boys safe. 

Nothing had ever happened to her before she found this ship. Or she supposed, this ship found her. The Force had always had a plan for her. Why else would the Millennium Falcon have been hiding with her on Jakku?

There was no doubt about it, she loved every rusted, charred, cracked, filthy inch of this ship. But it had been far too long since either of them had been airborne. That needed to change. At least one of them should be among the stars.

So she found herself (gently) piling the porgs into an old shipping container, nests and all, and carrying it back into the homestead. There were plenty of nooks and crannies for the little mongrels to inhabit and more than enough wires to chew. They’d be happy here.

It seemed she wasn’t wrong when the little birds immediately took to exploring their new surroundings. Then again, the porgs were the most adaptable creatures she’d ever met. She had yet to find an environment they wouldn’t thrive in.

Leaving the birds to get settled, she made her way out to vaporator 20 to find Poe.

She didn’t mean to sneak up on him, but the sand was quiet enough under her boots that he jumped when she asked, “Ready?”

In a fluid motion, he whipped something off his face, Rey barely getting a glance before he had stuffed them into a pants pocket.

Rey tried to keep her smile in check. “Uh, what are those?” she asked, knowing full well the answer to that question.

Poe squinted at the markings on the panel in front of him and mumbled, “Nothing.”

“Oh, really?” She bit down on her lower lip, desperately trying not to laugh at him. She pointed to the words on the panel. “Then tell me which wire needs to be connected. And remember, if you choose the wrong one you’ll reverse the ionization and blow us both sky high.”

Poe shot her a glare before digging into his pocket and pulling out a perfectly fine pair of black spectacles that he balanced on the edge of his nose. No longer squinting, he was able to connect the proper wire - the blue one, Rey knew from experience - and bring the vaporator back online.

Pleased with himself, he turned toward her with a smug smile, the glasses still perched on his nose. 

He rolled his eyes at whatever expression was on her face. “Ok, out with it.”

“I didn’t know you wore glasses,” she half laughed, sobering at the look on his face. “You don’t need to glare at me, I think they make you look…” She searched for the right word. “Distinguished.”

Poe laughed, tucking the glasses back into his pocket now that he was done with them. “That’s just another word for old.” He threw an arm around her shoulders, leading her back toward the speeder. “Come on, if I can get picked up for a job fast enough, I’ll buy you a drink at the cantina.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she responded, trying and failing to keep the grin off her face.

Rey was drunk.

Ok, maybe not drunk, but well on her way. 

When they arrived in Mos Eisley, Rey had helped Poe put out feelers with some of the mechanics and transport companies she’d done work for over her time on Tatooine, the two of them decamping to the cantina to wait for someone to bite. It didn’t take long. 

An hour later, Poe had no less than four offers, all shorter hauls that wouldn’t keep him off planet for more than a few hours. Apparently, word about the general who lead the assault on Exegol traveled fast, even this deep in the outer rim.

So it was a round of shots and then some frothy pink concoction Rey couldn’t actually believe was being served in this hole in the wall cantina, while Poe tried a blue drink that sparkled when you held it to the light.

By the second round, Rey was feeling it.

“Can we please talk about something else? Anything else,” begged Poe, a half smile on his face. 

“Just hear me out. How is it that I didn’t know you wear glasses? Don’t you need them to fly?” She took a hearty sip of her drink, relishing the way it bubbled and fizzed on her tongue. “I let you fly my ship blind!”

Poe rolled his eyes so hard, Rey wondered if they’d stick that way. “For the nine-hundredth time, I am not blind. And I only need the glasses for reading or really close work.”

“And flying doesn’t count?”

“I can see everything in the cockpit just fine, thank you very much. The controls are far enough away not to bother me.” 

Rey narrowed her eyes, trying to decide whether or not she believed him and settling on the former before getting distracted again.

“You’re getting scruffy,” she said, apropos of nothing. Her brain was having a little trouble keeping up with her. Without thinking, she reached a hand up, pushing the curls off his forehead. She’d always wondered if they’d be soft, and she was not disappointed. “You need a haircut.”

Rather than pulling back, he leaned into her touch, his eyes intense in the low light. Something molten slid into her gut. “I guess it slipped my mind.”

“I can cut it, if you’d like. I used to do it for some of the people on base.” 

For a split second, he looked at her like it was his first time seeing her. “I didn’t know that,” he said, so quietly she found herself leaning in a little closer.

“Rey Skywalker! There you are. I’ve been looking all over.” 

Rey started, guiltily extracting her hand from Poe’s soft curls to face the speaker, but not before noting the spots of color that had formed high on his cheeks. At the sound of her chosen name, Poe’s brows disappeared under those shaggy curls. “Uh, hi, Oram. What can I do for you?”

“We could really use you in bay two-oh tomorrow. Big job coming in. I’d make it worth your while.”

Thanks to her time on Jakku, Rey knew better than to accept a first offer. Even if she was a little tipsy. “How worth my while?”

“250 credits.”

She waved him off. “That won’t even buy me a replacement vaporator in these parts.”

“325, final offer,” he replied, sweating visibly. Rey wasn’t sure what planet he came from, but he could pass for human if not for the dusky blue undertone of his skin. “We could really use your expertise with light freighters.”

Ah, a rookie mistake. He must not be used to bargaining if he let that gem slip. That was all Rey needed to know she had the upper hand. “400 or I walk. I heard bay three-five was looking…”

“Fine! 400 it is.” He took out a dingy rag to pat across his glistening forehead before extending a hand to seal the deal. “You drive a hard bargain.”

Rey shook his hand, trying not to wince at how clammy it felt in her own. “Pleasure doing business with you.”

It was quick work to tie up loose ends, Rey taking a down payment and settling on what time tomorrow before Oram shuffled away, a little poorer for his trouble.

The silence stretched as Rey stacked her credit chips, doing everything in her power to avoid eye contact with Poe. Even so, she could feel his gaze on her, the question practically jumping from his head to hers.

“So,” he finally said when the silence between them finally became too much, “Rey Skywalker?”

Rey looked around the crowded bar, though no one took any particular notice of the two of them. Still, this wasn’t the place she wanted to have this conversation. “Not here. Can we do this…”

“At home?” he finished, motioning to the droid bartender for the tab. 

Rey pretended not to notice the little flutter in her stomach at his use of the word home. They had a home. Together.

Instead, she nodded, letting Poe settle the bill and lead her to the speeder. Any buzz she’d enjoyed had disappeared at the first mention of her new name and that look on Poe’s face, but she let him drive home just to be safe. 

The ride was silent except for the low hum of the speeder, Rey keeping a wary eye on their surroundings. She’d heard enough stories about the Tusken Raiders to be nervous about traveling after dark, but they made it back without incident. 

They were barely through the door when Poe turned on her expectantly.

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. The question was written plainly on his face, one she’d heard over and over and never quite mastered answering.  _ Who are you? _

It was fun while it lasted. Once he knew this, Poe would never look at her the same way. But there was no putting it off.

She took a deep breath. 

“My real name is Rey Palpatine.”


	5. A Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confesses her true parentage to Poe. As the nightmares continue to grow worse, Poe calls in the big guns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that this took so long to update. Life decided to throw me for a loop, and for the longest time I couldn't find the words. Thankfully, I've been able to string together a few good writing days, so I'm hoping to get back on track with this. I have a bit more written, plus a lot plotted out. While I'm not going to promise to update by a certain day (as that has NOT been working for this fic), I'm committed to more regularly updating and to finishing this fic. Thanks to everyone who read and commented, as your feedback inspired me to dive back in and make the time for this story. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> A quick warning: Rey is really hard on herself in this chapter and struggling with who she is and what that means.

The droids rolled out to investigate the commotion. Not that there was much of a commotion. Rey’s voice had barely been loud enough to carry and Poe was still staring at her in stunned silence, the expression on his face both impossible to read and impossible for her to look away from.

Upon hearing Palpatine’s name, BB-8 rolled back, the look of betrayal far too real for a droid without any humanoid features. Or maybe she was just projecting. Dio simply headed deeper into the homestead with an emphatic, “N-No thank you.”

“Poe.” She reached a hand out, only for Poe to take a half step back from her.

Rey let her hand drop, not even bothering to pretend that the subtle rejection didn’t hurt her. And what had she expected? That the man who had spent his adult life fighting for good and light would be fine with who she was? That the second generation freedom fighter would just accept that darkness inside her and move on? Of course he wouldn’t. Palpatine was his worst nightmare, a dark power that both he and his parents had fought against. 

Sometimes at night as the base settled into sleep around them, he’d tell her and Finn the stories. How his parents had given up everything, including him, to fight against the Empire. That his greatest fear was that it would all be for nothing. And here she was, the last of that dynasty, standing before him in flesh and blood.

He spoke slowly, chewing over the words, struggling with the feel of them in his mouth. “Rey. Palpatine.”

Immediately, she started to backpedal. “I mean, I guess that’s what it would be. The visions don’t exactly come with subtitles or nameplates.”

Poe was silent, a very rare occurrence indeed.

There it was, the look she’d been dreading, splashed across Poe’s face. Fear, shock, pity, they all mingled to create a man she barely recognized. A man who barely recognized her. It made the next words out of her mouth sound a little more desperate than she intended. 

“Please, say something,” she implored, hating the way tears stung at her eyes. An attempt to blink them away just made them fall faster. “Anything.”

“How?” The word was barely more than a breath. “When did he…” he trailed off, starting to pace as he ran a hand through his over-long hair. “You’re what? 21? 22? The numbers don’t even work.”

Oh, he thought _she_ was Palpatine’s daughter. “It was my father,” she blurted, watching him pause. “He was Palpatine’s son.”

“Emperor Palpatine was your grandfather,” he muttered, almost to himself. Rey watched as he traversed the same six steps back and forth and back again. “Who fucked Palpatine?” Poe shook his head, as if clearing a very particular mental image. “Sorry, that’s beside the point.” Finally, he planted his feet in front of her. “How long have you known?”

“Finn never mentioned…?” she asked, hoping against hope. The words trailed off at the hard look on his face. Of course she wasn’t that lucky. 

There was a bitter edge to Poe’s voice when he answered, “No, just that Palpatine wanted you alive. Then again, you two were always good at keeping each other’s secrets.” 

Right, that was a sore subject, one that apparently didn’t lessen with time.

With a sigh, she stepped around Poe and into the courtyard, knowing without turning around that he would follow. She needed to look at something besides the disappointment on Poe’s face. The stars would do just fine.

Rey took a deep breath. 

“Since our little trip to the _Steadfast_ ,” she said, eyes focused on the night sky.

Behind her, Poe released a breath. “Ren.”

Something in his voice made her turn, a question on her face.

Where she expected to find disgust and disappointment, there was only dawning realization. “Kylo Ren told you. Before we picked you up.” A look of understanding settled on his face, his features all softening with the knowledge. “Before you went off on your own to get the Wayfinder.”

She nodded. 

“Why didn’t you just say something? You scared the shit out of us on Kef Bir.”

Rey looked down at the ground. She remembered Finn’s panicked screams all too well, the way he tried to get her to stop fighting Ben. Ren. Whatever the fuck he was calling himself at that point. Not to mention that final look of betrayal as she used the Force to hold Finn back, to make sure no one else she loved died trying to save her.

Then, more quietly, he added, “You scared the shit out of me.” 

Rey looked up from her feet to find Poe closer than he’d been a minute before. From this angle, it looked as if all the light from the stars had been trapped in the depths of those dark eyes, a molten core that seared her skin with its intensity. It felt like a confession, one she could barely deal with in light of her own. Even so, she struggled to look away.

“I was afraid that if you knew who I really was, if you knew what I wrestled with inside me, it would only give you even more reason to hate me.”

His face fell. “I never hated you, Rey. I wanted you out there with us.”

He stepped closer, hands closing around the tops of her arms. A little thrill went through her at the scrape of his calluses on her soft, exposed skin, but she wrote it off as a by-product of the alcohol. She must have been more tipsy than she originally thought. 

It was a struggle to draw her attention back to Poe as he said, “Nobody’s past is squeaky clean. Hells, look at me; look at Finn. How could you ever think I’d judge you on something you had no choice over?”

“Because I can still feel it,” she said, unable to stop the tears that sprang to her eyes. She jerked out of his hold, one of her hands pressing against her breastbone. “That darkness. It’s like a black stain on my soul. And every day I wonder if this is the day it wins, if this is the day the power that I am heir to takes over and makes me my own worst nightmare.” Rey shivered as a flash of that other self, the hungry woman with a deadly smile, passed over her eyes. “Because no matter what I say or do, no matter how many times I choose the light, that darkness remains a part of me.”

For a moment all she could see was the crushing black of her dreams, the emptiness of that place she went after...after…

No. There were some things not even Poe could accept.

But as she looked into his eyes, she saw no fear there, even with the weight of her words hanging between them.

“Nobody is all dark or all light,” he said, taking a hesitant step toward her. His hand hovered like he might reach for her again before dropping to his side. “Not even you. I know you won’t believe me, but it doesn’t matter who your parents or grandparents are. Were. What matters are the choices you make. And every time you had a choice, you chose the light.”

“What about the lightning? That's not a normal power, Poe. And had it not been for some miracle, I would have killed Chewie.”

“That wasn’t a choice.” He shook his head. “Ren, he-”

But Rey wasn’t about to be talked down. She was done with everyone making excuses for her. “It wasn’t Kylo Ren that took out that transport. It was me. That power came from me,” she nearly shouted, brushing past him. She had no clue where she was going, just that she couldn’t look at the concern on his face one second longer.

Never one to take the hint, Poe followed. “He manipulated you, pushed you until he got what he wanted.”

She waved him off, but the words were enough to freeze her in place before she muttered, “You sound just like Finn.”

“Not really sure when that became a bad thing.”

Silence stretched, so long that Rey would have thought Poe left had she not been able to feel the subtle heat of his body at her back.

His voice was impossibly soft when he finally said, “Smart man, that Finn. Always knew how important you were from day one.”

Rey closed her eyes against the falling tears, a sob building in her chest. She’d expected a weight to be lifted, for something inside her to shift once she named that darkness and brought it into the light. But all she felt as those billions of stars looked down on her was exhausted.

“He really is the best,” she choked out, trying to wipe the tears and snot from her face. It was a losing battle. 

“Rey…” He put one hand on her shoulder, the weight more comforting than she cared to admit. Almost immediately, she shook it off.

With a deep but shaky breath, she turned around to face him, doing her best to make the half smile plastered on her face look genuine. “Well, this has certainly been a day. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for bed.”

There was a moment where she thought he’d fight her on it, insist they stay up and hash this out here and now, but a second later a look of resignation passed over his face, the furrow in his brow deepening. “Ok, good night.”

“Night,” she replied, scrambling across the open courtyard. Just before she disappeared into the hall, she paused. “Poe?”

He turned, his eyes shiny in the near dark of the courtyard. 

“You should take the Falcon,” she said, ignoring the look on his face. “You’ll get better jobs that way.”

“Can’t fly her alone.” A spark of hope danced across his features. “I could use a co-pilot up there.”

The offer hovered there plain as day. Rey’s eyes drifted to the open sky. How she longed to be among the stars, to feel the zip and hum of the Falcon beneath her feet as they traveled the spaces in between. 

But those days were over for her. This is where she belonged.

“I’m sure you’ll find plenty willing in Mos Eisley,” she said, turning back down the hall. 

Poe’s soft words reached her ears despite the distance, so quiet that Rey wondered if she imagined them.

_But I wanted you._

She closed the door against those words, willing her brain to forget them. For once, as she changed her clothes and dropped into bed, she wished for nothing more than the darkness to swallow her whole.

There was no denying it, the nightmares were getting worse.

Here, she thought that telling Poe the truth, shining a light on that darkness inside her would banish it, when all it really did was give a name to that shadow. Palpatine.

More nights than not, she woke screaming and gasping for breath as Poe shook her awake. It had been months since either of them had a full night of sleep, the weight Rey had worked so hard to put on falling off as she struggled through the day to day of the moisture farm. 

For the first time in her life, she had no appetite, and what little food she managed to choke down had lost all appeal. Purplish marks, dark as bruises, had settled just underneath her eyes, the hazel dull and lifeless anytime she bothered to look in the mirror. 

Rey watched as the worry settled deeper and deeper into Poe’s face, carving lines across his forehead and around that soft mouth. He hated feeling helpless, she knew that from their Resistance days, and there was nothing he could do for her now but watch as she attempted not to come apart at the seams. 

Not for lack of trying. Cups of tea, bad jokes, quiet nights spent telling stories under the stars, he did everything in his power to fix whatever had broken in her. But Poe couldn’t fix her. No one could, besides herself. That was a lesson she’d learned the hard way. 

So Rey did her best to nod and speak and smile at the right moments, all while pretending that her half truths weren’t threatening to unravel her. Not that her act was fooling anyone, especially on a day a few months after her confession. 

The previous night had been a bad one, barely an hour passing before she woke to Poe’s panicked shouts. It seemed that once again, she hadn't been breathing.

So they were both shaky and exhausted as the suns beat down on them over vaporator 20, the lack of sleep and abundance of heat giving everything a shimmery quality as she buried herself elbows deep into the machinery.

Poe’s watchful eyes were on her as she brushed her fingertips against the power coupling, just out of reach.

“Could you?” she asked with a tilt of her head, Poe immediately pulling back the wires so she could get in deeper. 

Sinking into the vaporator down to her shoulder, she closed her eyes, visualizing the part a second before her fingers closed around the power coupling. A quick twist and tug and it was free, Rey only needing a single look to provide a diagnosis.

“It’s fried,” she said with a sigh, leaning back on her heels. “We’re going to need to replace the whole coupling.”

“That’s the third one this week!”

Rey shook her head. She was well aware of both the situation and their quickly dwindling coffers. Power couplings weren’t cheap, especially this deep in the Outer Rim. “I know. It’s the womp rats. They’re chewing through the cables and shorting everything out.”

As always these days, Poe seemed to read her mind. “I’ll talk to Dex about getting put back on the schedule,” he said, running a hand through his curls. They stuck up in odd formations, too long now to stay neat for any length of time. “Maybe pick up a couple of those Naboo runs.”

They locked eyes for a second, neither willing to address the rathtar in the room.

No. This was becoming ridiculous. Rey had never been one to stand down in the face of a little conflict and she wasn’t about to start now. “If you just took one of the longer hauls-”

Poe dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “We’ve talked about this, now isn’t the right time. There’s too much going on here.”

Rey felt her temper flare, heating inching across her cheeks. “We both know this isn’t about the farm.”

Poe opened his mouth to say something, but BB-8 chose that moment to roll up, D-O in tow. 

“S-ship approaching,” came D-O’s tinny voice, all while BB-8 kept up a string of binary about approach vectors and landing space.

Instantly, panic flooded her system. Rey looked to Poe, heart beating erratically against her ribs. Any number of people could have a grudge against them, former First Order, weapons dealers. They’d pissed off their fair share of people over the years. Every muscle in her body tensed in anticipation, fight or flight taking over.

But as she looked at Poe’s face, she realized he didn’t look nervous. In fact, he looked downright gleeful, though he was trying to hide it. She cocked her head at him. “Wait a second, are you expecting someone?”

“We better go see.” There was a glint to his eye as he grabbed her hand and led her toward the coordinates BB-8 provided, the little plot of sand where they parked the two ships they owned.

Next to the Falcon, a vaguely familiar ship had landed. Painted a bright, impossible white and blue, there wasn’t a scrape on her, so impeccably kept she made the other two look especially shabby in comparison. As Rey squinted her eyes, she tried to place the markings, a jolt going through her when she recognized it as one of General Calrissian’s personal fleet.

The ramp hissed as it lowered, revealing a high pair of boots she’d know anywhere.

“Finn!” The word left her mouth before she even had a chance to absorb that he was here. He was actually here.

And with one final backwards glance at Poe, she took off running.


	6. A Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we have here? A regular update? Look at that!
> 
> All kidding aside, this story is finally hitting its stride and I'm so excited for what I have planned. Thanks to everyone who stuck with this during the long stretches between chapters. This is a Poe POV (and probably the only one), so I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> A very light warning: Poe and Finn discuss Poe's (and Rey's) post-war depression in very vague terms, and Poe is slightly jealous (akin to what was shown in TROS) of Finn and Rey's friendship. Kind of a side note, but Finn's post-war personality in this seems to borrow heavily from John Boyega, so I hope that doesn't feel too out of character for folks.

Poe knew it had been the right call as soon as the ramp dropped.

“Finn!”

Upon seeing Finn, Rey shot Poe one of those incandescent smiles over her shoulder, so much more precious for their rarity these days, before taking off like a blaster bolt into their friend’s arms.

There was a small part of him, one buried deep, that couldn’t help but be a little - jealous wasn’t the word, that implied something he certainly wasn’t prepared to admit out loud. Maybe it was simply a wish that Rey would one day be as excited to see Poe as she was to see Finn. Then again, it wasn't Finn leaving his dirty laundry on the floor.

The time away from the hustle and bustle of the Resistance had not been kind to Poe. He’d always been a bit of a wild one, as evidenced by ease with which he broke his father’s heart at 16. After all that teenage madness, the New Republic - and later, the Resistance - had instilled a much-needed discipline in him. And now without that regiment, he found himself more than a little lost.

There were good days and bad days. Days when he and Rey worked side by side from suns up to suns down, laughing until they collapsed in the good kind of exhaustion that only came from honest work and manual labor. And days when the exhaustion weighed so heavily on his bones that the thought of picking a t-shirt up off the floor was too much to handle.

He watched, helplessly, as Rey struggled with the same. Though her bad days were a different breed, punctuated with the screams of aborted nightmares, the sound that roused him from his bed more often than not these nights. 

He tried everything he could think of, funny stories and bad jokes and so many cups of kriffing tea he’d long since lost count, but nothing seemed to pierce through that veil that had descended over her. 

There was no way for him to know what she was dealing with, not with the way she clammed up anytime he broached a subject even tangentially related to her name or her heritage or that darkness she described. The only thing he knew was that she was drowning, and with each passing day, a little more of the Rey he’d come to know disappeared before his very eyes.

He’d become desperate, the realization dawning on him far too late that there was nothing  _ he  _ could do to help her. She needed something more than Poe.

Enter Finn.

Poe watched from just outside their little reunion as Rey lit up, both her and Finn chattering a mile a minute as they caught up. Already, she’d smiled more in the five minutes he’d been here than she had the entire month prior. Shame simmered in his belly as Poe realized he wasn’t entirely relieved by that.

In all honesty, he’d forgotten what it had been like with the two of them.

He dragged his attention from his own selfishness to the ongoing conversation.

“Enough about me, how’s everyone? Have you talked to Rose or Connix recently? How are they doing?” asked Rey eagerly. Poe hadn’t even realized she hadn’t been in contact with anyone. Even he got around to sending a comm every once in awhile.

Finn slung an arm around her shoulders. “Good, good. I spent a few days with Rose in the capital recently, and they can’t get enough of her on Coruscant. I swear she’s got her hands in everything from which systems should be admitted into the new government to emerging tech. Everyone wants a piece of her. But that’s our Rose for you.”

“Oh, a few days with Rose, huh?” answered Rey, her brows shooting up toward her hairline. “Anything else I should know about?”

“Oh you know, we’re just friends,” he said in a tone that meant they were anything but. 

“And Jannah? All that time cooped up in a ship, traveling the galaxy on a common mission…” she trailed off, letting Finn’s imagination fill in the rest.

Finn got a sly look on his face that, in Poe’s not so humble opinion, didn’t quite suit him. “Yeah, just friends. It’s a big galaxy, you know.”

At that, Poe couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “It’s no use trying to keep up with everyone he’s ‘just friends’ with, believe me, I’ve tried.” Poe paused, nodding toward Finn. “General?”

Finn grinned at him, trying to keep a serious face as he nodded in return. “General.”

“Get over here man,” said Poe, pulling his friend into a crushing hug. 

There was a bit of good natured back slapping, and more than one “I’ve missed you, man,” but not wanting Rey to feel left out, they opened the hug to her a second later, instantly sending Poe back to those magical hours after Exegol, when the possibilities had been endless and they were alive, they were all so gloriously alive.

Only this time, Rey’s chin was resting on his shoulder, and it was her work-roughened hand that managed to find his, the grip different now after all these months spent together. Less desperate. More comforting.

“Enough of that,” said Finn, surreptitiously swiping at his eyes as they broke apart. Poe was glad he wasn’t the only one. “Let’s see this farm you two insist on running.”

Finn threw his arm around Rey’s shoulders again, and Rey reached a hand back to Poe, the three of them heading toward the main building together, the Trio once more.

Later that night, after they’d toured every inch of the homestead and farm and stuffed themselves on the bantha steaks Finn just happened to have on board his ship ( _ Lando knows a guy _ , was Finn’s only answer when prodded), the three of them dozed on the couch, an overlapping pile of bodies so entwined that Poe wasn't quite sure where he ended and Finn and Rey began.

Rey snored softly from Finn’s lap, his dark fingers carding through her fine hair as she slept on, oblivious. 

“You were right to call me.” Finn’s voice was soft when he broke the silence. “How long has she been like this?”

“I mean, she’s definitely been different since I got here.” Poe looked down at the woman in question, feeling a little guilty for talking about her when she wasn’t conscious to answer. But this, he reasoned, was too important. “But it’s gotten worse over the last month. Since she told me about her...” Poe hesitated, unsure of what to call Palpatine. Grandfather felt too fond of a word, conjuring pleasant old men who liked to tell stories of the good old days. You know, like when they committed genocide and ran an empire on good old fashioned fear. Grandsire? Too clinical. The dark side incarnate? A little dramatic. So Poe settled for a neutral, “heritage.”

“And she’s really going by ‘Skywalker’ now?” 

Poe nodded. “As far as I can tell. That’s what they call her in town. But she never actually explained why.”

Finn shook his head. “I mean, I get it, but it’s still a little weird.”

They went quiet as Rey shifted in her sleep, curling so her feet came off Poe’s lap. He found himself missing the connection. Another quiet minute passed while they waited for her breathing to take on that even quality again.

“And how are you doing?” asked Finn when they were sure.

Poe waved him off. “Fine. Good, even. Just worried about Rey.”

Finn quirked an eyebrow.

“What?” Poe laughed, but Finn’s expression turned serious.

“You know, it’s okay to not be okay.” He dropped a hand on Poe’s shoulder. “I wasn’t for a long time.”

Poe blinked, trying not to think of the bad days, when the unending stretch of time paralyzed him before he could even get out of bed. When the thought of another day, same as all the rest, made him want to throw the covers over his head. He needed structure and rules, and always had. The worst decisions of his life were born of idle hands and good intentions.

If he thought about it, making sure Rey limped through her days had brought structure and routine to his own, a welcome distraction from the monotony of post-war life. It was worrying that so much of his days - and his life, honestly - revolved around her at this point. What happened to him when she got better? Or decided that the Force was calling her elsewhere?

Shaking off those thoughts, he turned back to Finn. “How did you do it?”

Finn took a moment to mull that over. “I don’t know, man. I guess I’m still doing it. Every day.” Finn sighed, looking down at Rey’s sleeping form for a second. “Talking to people helps. People who were there, professionals. I’ve seen a couple doctors in Coruscant. And Rose is a really good listener.”

“And just a friend.”

Finn laughed. “A very good friend.”

They went silent again as Rey stretched back out, Poe resting a hand on one of her slim ankles once it settled in his lap.

It had only been a few hours, but he swore she looked better already. More color in her cheeks, a little light in her eyes. Though she still didn’t each much at dinner, he couldn’t help but marvel at the easy way she fell asleep. It was like Finn’s mere presence had triggered something inside her.

When he finally looked up, he realized Finn had been watching him, a careful look in his dark eyes. “And what about you and Rey? You two seem awfully close.”

“We’re roommates,” answered Poe, sounding a lot less chill than he had originally meant to. “Just…”

“Friends?” supplied Finn. He gave Poe a sly look. “You know, I’m starting to have trouble keeping track of all the people you’re ‘just friends’ with.”

Heat crept across Poe’s cheeks, and he knew without having to look that they’d gone as red as the Tatooine sunsets he’d grown so fond of down at the cantina. “Ha, ha very funny.”

Wisely, Finn let it drop, the silence enveloping them once more. Poe tilted his head toward the sky. It was no mystery why this was Rey’s favorite place in the house, where the stars overhead were the only ceiling necessary.

It was a while before Finn spoke again.

“One of the docs in Coruscant, she told me something the first time I saw her that stuck with me,” he said, his voice impossibly soft in the starlight. “She said that I was allowed to be happy. That no matter the past, what I did or didn’t do, that I was allowed to let myself be happy.” He paused, looking down at Rey’s soft hair spilled over his lap. “That goes for you and Rey, too. You’re allowed to be happy.”

“We are happy,” he said, pretending like Finn wasn’t here specifically because Rey was so miserable it had scared him half to death.

Finn didn’t press the matter, instead saying, “If living out here, being farmers, makes you two happy, then more power to you. But if you’re doing it punish yourself or self exile, just know you don’t have to. You’re allowed to come back from the war. You’re allowed to be happy.”

If only it were that easy.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m off to bed,” said Finn a second later. He carefully shook Rey’s shoulder. “Come on, to bed with you.”

Rey blinked at them, almost surprised to see them there. “What?”

“I’m going to bed, and you should, too.” Finn helped her off his lap, standing a second later and turning to face Poe. “You coming?” 

“In a minute,” he answered, watching the two of them disappear into the hall. He turned his face back toward the sky, deciding he didn’t want to know the sleeping arrangements.

It was a while before he followed, his thoughts simply too big to be contained by the roof.

Gods, Poe missed his X-wing. 

It had seemed like a good idea when he’d donated his personal craft to the new government all those months ago. He was getting out. Why would he need X-wing on Yavin 4? So he accepted the craft they offered him in return, an old leisure shuttle retrofitted to carry small loads, and was on his way. 

But as Poe set the crappy little shuttle down on the stretch of sand that was rapidly becoming their own personal hangar bay, letting the engines power down with an unholy wail, he couldn’t help but miss the sleek craft, the way it turned with the slightest touch, how it seemed to know what he was trying to do before he’d even thought it. Maybe he’d been a little hasty.

Not that Black One or its replacement would have been much help these says. The Naboo runs were quick, efficient, and above all, boring. Oh, what he wouldn’t give for a little speed most days, an asteroid field to navigate, or better yet, a clash with pirates. But it seemed even the dregs of galactic society were uninterested in both him and his vessel. Pity.

At least it paid the bills. Though, both he and Rey knew where the real money lay. 

He looked over at the Millennium Falcon, the setting suns gleaming off its battle-worn hull. 

What he wouldn’t give to take one of the longer hauls, put the aging freighter through her paces. But he’d promised himself he wouldn’t touch the old girl until Rey was ready to fly with him, so here they were.

He shrugged his bag over his shoulder and headed toward the house.

Poe was almost to the front door when a spate of concerned beeps drew him around back. Poe stopped dead as he took in the scene in front of him.

There, on a flat stretch of sand, Rey and Finn sat back to back, their legs crossed and eyes closed in concentration. That wouldn’t be enough to shock Poe, but the fact that they were hovering some six feet off the ground certainly did. Small objects - a spanner, an old book, someone’s datapad - floated in the air around them, while Rey’s voice gave instructions in a soothing tone Poe had never heard her use before.

“Feel it flow through you,” she said, her face a mask of serenity. In the dying light, she looked downright regal, her hair back up in those three buns for the first time since Poe arrived on Tatooine. Then again, when he thought about it, she was technically royalty. Her Imperial Majesty, Rey Palpatine, heiress to the Empire. 

Poe shivered at the thought. Nope, Rey Skywalker was infinitely better.

So he watched his friends in silent awe, still able to appreciate the beauty of the Force even after all he’d been through at the hands of one of its wielders. 

D-O’s tinny voice startled him out of his reverie. “Poe!”

Apparently, he wasn’t the only one, Finn’s eyes popping open as he sank like a stone and hit the sands a second later with an audible “oof.”

Rey’s gentle laugh echoed off the house. 

“Concentration,” she intoned, unwinding her own legs from their twist. “You must focus, even through the distractions.” A second later she lowered herself to the ground with a grace Poe couldn’t help but envy.

She reached out a hand to help Finn from the ground, the other man grumbling as he rubbed his backside. “I was concentrating.”

Not even Poe could deny that in the three days since Finn arrived on Tatooine, there had been a marked change in the woman in front of him. She was eating more, laughing more, sleeping more. Though even Finn’s presence couldn’t banish the nightmares completely, Poe getting a shock last night when he ran into her room and found Finn already shaking her awake. But it was Poe’s name she gasped as she woke and his hand she reached for even when Finn pulled her into a hug. Score one for Team Dameron. Not that he was keeping track.

But it was the scene that he’d walked in to earlier that showed the most promise. Finn had taken him aside after that first day.

_ “You didn’t tell me she was cut off from the Force,” he whispered, double checking to make sure Rey was out of earshot. _

_ Poe started in confusion. “What do you mean? Of course she’s using the Force.” But as he thought back, the only time he’d seen her do anything Force-related was that first night when she’d called her saber. And he hadn’t even seen the saber since. _

_ Maybe that was why she felt inexplicably distant, that crackling familiarity he’d always felt in her presence disappearing almost overnight. _

_ Finn nodded as the realization dawned on Poe’s face. “Don’t worry, I have an idea.” _

That idea turned out to be the lessons Poe had just interrupted. And it seemed to be working, if the spring in Rey's step was any indication. 

Rey turned her attention to Poe. “How was Theed?”

“You know, the usual. Beautiful, quiet.”  _ Boring, _ he added in his head for his own benefit.  _ So unbelievably boring.  _ “What’s on the agenda tonight?”

Finn slung an arm around his shoulders, leading him toward the house as Rey followed a step behind. “Well, as you know, it’s my last night here.”

“I am aware.”

“So, I believe a night out is in order. To send me off properly.”

Poe couldn’t help but laugh. “If you’re expecting Coruscant-level entertainment, you’re about to be sorely disappointed.”

Finn waved him off. “Rey told me all about that cantina you two like. We get some food, we get some drinks, maybe somebody dances, preferably on a table. It’ll be a good night.”

Poe shook his head, but a smile played across his lips in spite of himself. “If you insist. I’m gonna go change.”

“We’re all changing,” said Finn, parting ways at the little room he’d been inhabiting during the trip. He looked Poe up and down. “And none of that sad farmer look you two seem so fond of these days. We’re going out!”


	7. A Step Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Finn and Poe assume she's asleep, Rey overhears an eye-opening conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is two days later than I was planning to post, but about 1500 words longer than the rest of the chapters. You win some, you lose some? 
> 
> Enjoy!

It wasn’t eavesdropping she told herself, not when she was laying right there. And if they thought she was asleep? Well, served them right for talking about her.

It seemed she wasn’t as good an actress as she thought.

“You were right to call me,” came Finn’s voice from overhead. She hated how tense he sounded, how worried. “How long has she been like this?”

It was a struggle not to squirm under their scrutiny. She forced her body to relax, her breathing to remain even, her eyes to stay shut. Finn’s fingers carded through her hair, the gentle rhythm helping to keep her steady.

Poe took his time before answering. “I mean, she’s definitely been different since I got here. But it’s gotten worse over the last month. Since she told me about her...” He paused, struggling to come up with the right word. “...heritage.”

That was generous.

“And she’s really going by ‘Skywalker’ now?” Finn’s voice took on a slightly incredulous quality that Rey didn’t wholly appreciate.

She bounced slightly as someone nodded. “As far as I can tell. That’s what they call her in town. But she never actually explained why.”

“I mean, I get it, but it’s still a little weird.”

She twitched at that, smoothly parlaying the motion into a stretch as if she’d just woken up. The men went silent above her.

Ignoring the heavy silence, she curled back up, willing her body to relax once more. It was a while before Finn spoke again.

“And how are you doing?” he asked, fingers finding her hair once more.

Poe didn’t hesitate, his lie coming easily. “Fine. Good, even. Just worried about Rey.”

There was a long pause.

“What?” Poe’s laugh warmed her, the honeyed sound sinking into her bones. He was rarely this loose with her these days, always wandering around with that worried look on his face.

Finn’s voice had gone soft when he answered, “You know, it’s okay to not be okay. I wasn’t for a long time.”

This time the silence stretched so long, Rey cracked an eye. She could just barely make out Finn’s frown before slamming her eyes shut again, too afraid of getting caught to chance it.

“How did you do it?” Poe sounded so unsure of himself it threatened to break her heart. When had he started to sound like that?

But if she thought about it, hadn’t he always? He’d come here same as her, lost and foundering, barely able to keep his head above water. And she’d been so lost in her own misery, she’d completely missed that Poe was hurting, too. Now, it seemed painfully obvious.

Finn’s answer took a few seconds to come. “I don’t know, man. I guess I’m still doing it. Every day.” Finn sighed, the heavy breath ruffling her hair. “Talking to people helps. People who were there, professionals. I’ve seen a couple doctors in Coruscant. And Rose is a really good listener.”

“And just a friend.”

Rey bounced again as Finn laughed. “A very good friend.”

There was that phrase again. It must have been some kind of a private joke between the two of them, one Rey wasn’t meant to understand. Not that she was listening. As far as they knew.

Her leg chose that moment to cramp up and Rey had to fight the urge to shake it out, instead opting to stretch as naturally as she could while still keeping the ruse. When her feet settled back into Poe’s lap, a warm hand came to rest on one of her ankles with a fond little pat. 

One wouldn’t think a bare ankle was quite so sensitive, but his touch sent a little flicker through her, the heat from his palm soaking into her very bones. And a few other, very specific places.

Poe was very… tactile, and it had taken a while for her to not tense up like a wounded animal every time he reached for her. Progress had been slow, but over the long months they’d been working and living together she’d grown used to the contact, so much so she craved it when she woke up screaming, his warmth providing comfort in the face of that darkness. Now, there was a different type of tension in her body when his arm slung across her shoulders or his hand found hers in the night.

Speaking of tension, Finn’s voice was drowning in it when he broke the silence a second later.

“And what about you and Rey? You two seem awfully close.”

Rey stiffened, heart thrashing against her ribs as she waited to hear Poe's answer. And had either of the Force sensitive men been paying any attention to her, they would have noticed.

“We’re roommates,” he finally answered, his voice a little tighter than usual. “Just…”

“Friends?” finished Finn. “You know, I’m starting to have trouble keeping track of all the people you’re ‘just friends’ with.”

Poe tensed above her, his hand gripping her ankle a little stronger than strictly necessary.

The realization hit Rey like a blaster bolt to the chest. Oh. _Oh._

But there was no time for Finn’s words to sink in, not when Poe was already speaking again.

“Ha, ha very funny,” he said, his tone making it clear he thought it was anything but.

Nobody spoke for a minute, but this silence was different, heavy as it was with the revelations of the evening.

It actually explained a lot. Why Poe had sought her out on Tatooine. Why she had let him stay. Even the way his expression softened when he thought she wasn’t looking. It all pointed to one thing.

Her relationship with Poe had never been easy, not like it had been with Finn. As soon as she met Finn, it had been them against the galaxy, a camaraderie so easy she had trouble remembering what her life had been like before. But with Poe, she had always felt wrong-footed, second guessing even the most basic things. It didn’t help that he fought her tooth and nail, always making her feel like she was failing him in some way. She’d always chalked it up to the fact that they just didn’t like each other. 

Thinking back, maybe it was the opposite.

It was a while before Finn spoke again.

“One of the docs in Coruscant, she told me something the first time I saw her that stuck with me.” Finn hesitated a second, as if he needed to steel himself to go on. “She said that I was allowed to be happy. That no matter the past, what I did or didn’t do, that I was allowed to let myself be happy.” He paused, fingers finding her hair once more. “That goes for you and Rey, too. You’re allowed to be happy.”

“We are happy,” insisted Poe, and Rey had to suppress a laugh. The two of them were barely hanging on and they all knew it.

Finn went on. “If living out here, being farmers, makes you two happy, then more power to you. But if you’re doing it to punish yourself or self exile, just know you don’t have to. You’re allowed to come back from the war. You’re allowed to be happy.”

The words nestled their way into Rey’s brain. _You are allowed to be happy._

But did that really extend to her? Happy was not a word in the Jedi vocabulary. Peace, harmony, knowledge, serenity, were all major tenets of the Code. But happiness? That sounded suspiciously like emotion to her. 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m off to bed,” said Finn a second later. He carefully shook her shoulder. “Come on, to bed with you.”

Rey made a good show of it, blinking like she’d just been startled awake. “What?”

One look at Finn told her she hadn’t been convincing enough.

“I’m going to bed and you should, too.” Finn said as he helped her to her feet, following a second later. “You coming, Poe?” 

Poe’s eyes were distant, focused on the stars overhead when he answered, “In a minute,” too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the guilty look on her face or Finn’s knowing smile as ushered her into the hall.

A second later, Rey found herself just outside her bedroom door.

Finn leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “You have a good nap?” 

Rey’s face heated as she looked over her shoulder to make sure they were still alone. “How did you know?”

“I had a good teacher.”

She couldn’t argue with that. 

“If you knew I was awake, then why did you still say it?” she asked, genuinely curious. 

Finn shrugged. “It was something you both needed to hear.”

“Which part?” she wondered, her mind straying to the heat of Poe’s hand, the scrape of his callouses against the knob of her ankle bone.

“All of it.” Finn smirked like he could see the direction of her thoughts. And knowing him, he probably could. After all, he’d had an excellent teacher. “And I meant what I said. You two are allowed to be happy.”

Her first instinct was to insist they were happy, but they’d both know it was a lie. 

When she didn’t say anything, Finn went on, “Plus, I wasn’t sure I could survive three whole days with Poe and those sad, longing stares.”

“Poe doesn’t look at me-” she started, already on the defensive. But Finn cut her off.

“He looks at you like you’re the answer to all the galaxy’s questions. Believe me, I recognize the look. Once upon a time, I was in those shoes.”

“Finn…” her tone held a warning. 

They had talked about it once, right after Crait. So much had happened in so little time, and as they sat in the back of the Falcon, heads bowed in whispered conversation while the remnants of the Resistance found solace in each other around them, it became clear that they were meant for other things, both together and apart. It was an instinct, a feeling. Already it felt like a lifetime ago. And for her, maybe it was. 

“I’m not trying to bring up ancient history, just…” he trailed off, with a sigh. “You need to talk to him.”

“We did. I told him-”

“-Everything?” The look on her face must have answered the question for her. “Rey.”

She dropped her eyes, not willing to look at the judgment on his face any longer. “I told him I’m a Palpatine. That’s all he needs to know.”

“Is it?” He took a step forward, putting a hand on either shoulder. “You should have heard him when he commed. He was scared out of his mind.”

“I’m fine,” she repeated for what felt like the thousandth time. 

“I’ve been here for less than a day and I know that’s not true.”

Rey shrugged out of his grip. “And what will saying it out loud change? Besides the way he looks at me, that is.”

Finn’s eyes softened, understanding coating his features. “You died, Rey.” She flinched at the stark reality of that word, and the easy way Finn said it. Rey had been avoiding it for so long, it sent a little shock through her system. “Like I told Poe, it’s okay to not be okay. That changes a person. But not talking about it? It’s tearing you apart.”

She blinked back tears at that unwelcome truth. Leave it to Finn to pin down exactly what was wrong with her after a couple hours.

Finn seemed to sense the direction her thoughts were headed. “Hey, I just want to see you happy again.”

Something about the way he was looking at her opened the floodgates, and when he pulled her into his arms, she went willingly, both of them pretending that she wasn’t sobbing into his shoulder.

It took a while for the tears to subside, and longer still for her to leave the comforting warmth of his embrace. 

She was still wiping her eyes when Finn spoke again.

“As much as I love watching you two pine, that’s not the only reason I’m here.” He paused for her to laugh then took a deep breath. “It’s time to complete my training.”

Rey’s heart plummeted into her stomach.

“You’re only here for three days. It’s not enough time,” she said, a little too quickly.

It wasn’t that she was afraid to use the Force. Just that the very thought of reaching for that power made her heart race and her palms sweat, the memories of the darkness waiting for her leaving her breathless.

Ok, maybe she was afraid to use the Force.

But Finn wasn't about to let her off the hook. “Then I’ll come back.”

It started after Exegol. They were cleaning up systems one-by-one, her and Finn and Poe fighting side-by-side to rid the galaxy of the remaining stain of the First Order. Nobody noticed when she started to prefer her blaster to the Skywalker lightsaber. 

“I’m no teacher. Not like Luke or Leia.”

She'd constructed her blade and buried the rest. But with the exception of that first night with Poe, she'd stayed away from the Force, afraid of what she'd find if she reached for that power.

“You’re the last Jedi. The only one who can teach me.”

I will not be the last Jedi. I am all the Jedi. I am no Jedi.

“I can’t…” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

But Finn knew her too well, knew the exact words to say to her. “I need your help. I can’t do this on my own. Please, Rey.”

She looked at him, her best friend, the first person to ever come back for her, and knew that she couldn’t say no.

Rey sighed. “Tomorrow at sunsrise.”

Finn’s answering smile almost made what would surely be another sleepless night worth it.

Rey took a deep breath, letting the Force flow through her. It filled her, sustained her, elevated her until she was both life and death, growth and decay, everything and nothing, the balance of the universe illuminating all but the darkest corners of her soul. For the first time in recent memory, she felt whole.

She couldn’t remember for the life of her why she’d been so afraid.

That was a lie, but her fears felt lightyears away as she meditated with Finn on his third day on Tatooine, her soft voice guiding them as they hovered back-to-back a few feet off the sand. 

“The Force surrounds us and penetrates us.”

She’d taken Finn aside before their first lesson, double checking to make sure Poe was out of earshot.

_“I don’t know if I can do this,” Rey said, heart racing. She hadn’t slept more than an hour total that night, and the exhaustion pressed on her like a physical weight._

_Finn sighed. “We’ve been over this-”_

_“No,” she cut him off, too tired for niceties. “I mean, I’m not sure if I have the power to do this anymore.”_

_He blinked at her in confusion._

_“Palpatine,” she started, refusing to use the word ‘grandfather.’ That man was no kin to her. “He took something from us, from Ben and me. Drew from the bond. It made him whole again.” She shuddered at the memory, at the way the flesh grew before her eyes, at the agony of something essential being torn from her against her will._

“It binds the galaxy together.”

_Finn’s face screwed up in concern. “And you think that he took your power?”_

_“That’s not all.” Rey swallowed thickly. “The bond was something different. Special.” Ben’s own words rose to her lips. “We were a dyad in the Force. Two that were one. So without him…”_

_She watched the comprehension dawn on his face._

_“You think you aren’t whole,” he finished for her._

_Rey nodded, a small tremor going through her as she heard one of her deepest fears spoken out loud._

_Finn snorted._

_Immediately, her temper flared. “May I ask what you find so funny?”_

_“Only if I can ask why it is that the only person in the galaxy you believe without question is the one who lied to you the most?”_

_Rey took a step back in surprise._

“Feel it flow through you.”

_It made sense, she realized with jolt. Kylo Ren had always wanted her by his side. And what better way to do that than to make her believe she was nothing without him?_

_How long had she feared what her lineage and connection to Ren said about her connection to the dark side?_

_A weight lifted._

So she’d reached for the Force and never looked back. 

It certainly didn’t hurt that Finn was an apt pupil, picking up skills faster than she could teach them. Though much like her, he struggled with the less physical aspects. Hence the meditation.

“Poe!” came the modulated voice of D-O, Rey’s eyes popping open to find the man himself watching them from the ground.

A second later, Finn thudded to the ground with an “oof.”

Rey tried to stifle the laugh that bubbled up - she’d been there, after all - but it was no use.

“Concentration,” she repeated a second later, her voice taking on that slightly scolding tone Leia did so well. Finn had struggled with it so much, it had inadvertently become the word of the day. With an ease borne of months and months of practice above the trees of Ajan Kloss, unwound her legs, dropping lightly onto the sand moments later. “You must focus, even through the distractions.” 

“I was concentrating,” grumbled Finn, accepting a hand up.

Ignoring Finn and his hurt pride, she turned toward Poe. “How was Theed?”

“You know, the usual. Beautiful, quiet. What’s on the agenda tonight?”

There was something he wasn’t saying, but Rey didn’t have time to dwell on it as Finn started leading him back toward the homestead.

“Well, as you know, it’s my last night here,” Finn said, his tone promising trouble.

Poe laughed, seeming to sense it as well. “I am aware.”

“So, I believe a night out is in order. To send me off properly.”

Poe said exactly what Rey was thinking. “If you’re expecting Coruscant-level entertainment, you’re about to be sorely disappointed.”

Finn waved him off. “Rey told me all about that cantina you two like. We get some food, we get some drinks, maybe somebody dances, preferably on a table. It’ll be a good night.”

Poe shook his head, but a smile played across his lips nonetheless. “If you insist. I’m gonna go change.”

“We’re all changing,” said Finn, parting ways at the little room he’d been inhabiting during the trip. He looked Poe up and down. “And none of that sad farmer look you two seem so fond of these days. We’re going out!”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Is this completely necessary?”

“It is,” replied Finn, pushing her toward her bedroom door. 

Fortunately, Rey knew just the thing.

It was an outfit she had picked up on Coruscant, back when she and Rose and Connix would hit the clubs on levels they had no business visiting. Rey wasn’t much of a dancer, but the steady pulse of bass and the fizz of alcohol in her veins had provided her with a well-deserved reprieve from her own thoughts after Exegol. While she’d tasted true oblivion, she found this approximation to be a much preferable substitute. 

So she’d let herself be dressed up and dragged out on more than one occasion, and when the time came to leave Coruscant and Just Rey behind, she found herself unable to part with the outfit, no matter how impractical it was for the rough sands of Tatooine.

When she stepped into the sunken courtyard, she found herself glad she did.

“You ready?” she asked, interrupting what appeared to be a heated conversation. As one, they turned to face her.

Her boys looked good, with Finn sporting his Corellian bloodstripe and Poe in a pair of brown pants so tight they should have been illegal in most systems. And yet it wasn’t the clothing they were wearing that intrigued her, but the expressions on their faces. 

While Finn tried and failed to hide a smirk, Poe’s eyes took her in with a desire she’d never had directed at her before, at least not from him. His eyes roved from head to toe and back again, taking her in.

Jet black synth leather hugged her body, the leggings creating curves where there had been none. She'd paired them with a white sleeveless top that floated around her body, the arm holes just wide enough to reveal a peek of the dark, lacy breastband underneath. 

Simple, yet effective, judging by the lingering hunger in Poe’s stare.

It looked like she finally found the cure for those sad, longing looks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm I wonder how this trip to the cantina ends?


	8. A Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio enjoy a night on the town with an unexpected ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! This chapter fought me every step of the way, so I hope you enjoy.

Distantly, Rey knew Finn was speaking, but she couldn’t tell you a word of what he was saying, not when Poe’s eyes had caught and held her in their gaze, heat blooming everywhere they touched.

And they touched a fair share of places, a veritable fever spreading across her collarbones, down the long, flat expanse of her stomach, and settling on the subtle curve of her ass. 

She watched, transfixed, as Poe’s tongue darted out, just wetting his bottom lip before disappearing again.

“Uh, guys?”

Rey blinked, the spell broken. They turned as one to face Finn, the arch of his brows telling her that wasn’t the first time he’d tried to get their attention.

“You ready? I said I’d drive.”

That kicked both pilots into action. 

“Wait a second-”

“I don’t know if that’s-”

They followed him out, bickering every step of the way. 

Naturally, Finn listened to neither of them, installing himself in the pilot's seat of the little speeder. Rey realized his ploy a minute too late.

“Uh, Finn, buddy,” said Poe, running a hand through his floppy curls. They stood straight up thanks to whatever he’d used to define them. “This one’s not gonna work.”

“Sure it will. Don’t want to waste fuel on one of the bigger ships for such a short trip.” He waved his hand as if to brush off Poe’s concern. But he couldn’t hide the quirk of his lips. Almost like a smirk. “You’ll just have to double up.”

Oh. 

So that’s why Finn had taken a sudden interest in piloting. Rey wanted to laugh - at her own stupidity, at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation - but it was the look on Poe’s face that nearly sent her over the edge.

Panic, plain and simple, was etched on to every inch of his face, eyes wide as saucers and mouth half open and sputtering. She’d have been offended if it hadn’t been so damn hilarious.

And three days ago, Rey would have been in the same boat, heart racing and cheeks pink as she stumbled through excuses. But something had changed. Whether it was her talks with Finn or the leather pants or the fact that she got her first full night of sleep in gods knew how long was anybody’s guess, but for the first time since she’d learned her own name, Rey felt like herself. Not Rey Palpatine, heir to a dark throne. Not Rey Skywalker, the last hope of the Jedi order. Just Rey.

And for once, that was more than enough.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he said, hand going to his hair again. This time he thought better of it, arm dropping a second later. 

“I’m fine with it if you are.” 

It came out as more of a challenge than she expected, and as such Poe seemed unwilling to back down. “Yeah, of course.”

It was with that newfound confidence that she found the words, “After you.”

He wasted no more time getting into the speeder, turning toward her as soon as he was settled.

With the prospect of Poe’s lap in front of her, she suddenly lost her nerve, hesitating as both Finn and Poe looked on. She took a deep breath and climbed in.

Rey settled into his lap, acutely aware of the feel of his muscled thighs beneath her ass, the thin layers of clothing separating them, the subtle heat of his body next to hers. Poe hesitated, unsure of where to put his hands as Finn started the speeder.

His decision was made for him a second later when they took off, one arm automatically wrapping around her waist to steady her after a burst of speed pressed Rey into his chest. Finn, it seemed, had a lead foot. Rey tried to stay a little apart, but found herself melting into his warmth a second later, his left arm joining the right around her middle. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Finn’s smug look.

She was almost disappointed to pull up to Mos Eisley a few minutes later, needing to force herself to disentangle from Poe’s embrace. Poe seemed of the same mind, his hands trailing her body under the guise of helping her out.

They left the speeder in a semi-sheltered alleyway, making their way through the bustling streets. Slowly but surely, life was starting to return to the space port, the war having all but shut down the hyperspace lanes that lead to Tatooine. When she first set down, the town had been nearly deserted and the work scarce, but with each passing day more and more travelers arrived in search of supplies or repairs or a place to hide. Even the little marketplace was alight with activity at this hour, the suns setting in the distance providing a golden glow. 

Finally, they arrived at the cantina, the door opening with a burst of noise from within. Voices and laughter and music all mixed together in a cacophony of sound. Stale smoke and old beer permeated the air, her eyes struggling to adjust to dim lighting. 

Rey was shocked but pleased when Poe’s hand came up to guide her, the heat of his palm seeping into the small of her back as he led her toward the bar.

Finn made it first, raising a hand to get the surly bartender’s attention. “Three jet juices.”

“Uh, Finn, you know those are shots, right?” she said, brows raised.

Finn just grinned back at her. “Oh, I know.”

So it was gonna be that kind of night.

The shots arrived in short order, Finn wasting no time in passing them out. 

“To friends, both here and gone.” he said, lifting the shot.

It was a familiar toast, and as she held the little glass of red liquid, Rey found herself remembering those early days post-Exegol. When everything was new and raw and their time was split nearly evenly between celebrations and funerals. They had survived when so many others hadn’t. How was she supposed to reconcile the elation with the guilt?

Finn’s words from that first night dropped into her mind.  _ You are allowed to be happy _ . 

Something so simple, and yet impossible for her to comprehend. 

But as she looked from Finn to Poe’s smiling faces, she realized with a jolt that she  _ was  _ happy. Here, now, surrounded by her two closest friends, she felt a peace she hadn’t known her entire life. She was safe and loved and yes, happy. And she was allowed to be.

So she raised her glass and repeated the words, savoring the burn when the alcohol slid down her throat.

The empties had barely touched the bar when Finn was motioning again. “Another!”

She looked toward Poe whose shrug and grin seemed to say “it may as well happen” as he accepted his second shot.

The bit of fire low in her belly had nothing to do with the alcohol when she caught his eye a moment later, Poe raising his glass toward her in salute. “To good friends, and better times.”

Rey found she could drink to that.

That’s when the night turned a little hazy.

Real drinks were ordered and a booth in the back secured, the three of them getting comfortable as the cantina filled up around them. She’d never seen it this packed, but then again, she’d never been here this late.

“Tell me the truth,” said Rey, leaning over the table. Her lips and tongue felt sluggish, the words not coming out quite right. “What’s going on with you and Rose and Jannah.”

“Oh, so we’re getting personal now. Is that a can of worms you really want to open?” He raised his eyebrows at her.

Rey’s face heated, but she put it from her mind. “Oh, come on. What harm could it be?”

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

Rey leaned forward on her elbows. “So there’s kissing involved?”

Finn drained the rest of his beer in one.

“You stepped right into that one, man,” said Poe, taking a long sip of his own drink.

Finn waved him off, scooting out of the booth. “Whatever, whatever. Another round?”

Rey looked down at her nearly full drink, a teal concoction called, of all things, a Jedi Mind Trick, and realized that she was already a little drunk. Scratch that, a lot drunk. She shook her head. “I’m good.”

Finn turned to Poe. “Poe?”

“Nah, I’m good, too.”

“Suit yourself,” said Finn with a shrug, heading toward the bar without another word.

As soon as Finn was out of earshot, Poe turned to her. “We’re gonna have to carry him home, aren’t we?”

Rey burst out laughing, ducking her head to take another drink.

When she looked back up, Poe’s eyes were still on her, cheeks flushed while a smile died on his lips. 

He was working up to something, she could tell by the set of his jaw and the slight furrow in his brow, and for a second, she thought he’d lost the nerve before he said in voice so soft she could barely hear it over the din of the bar, “You look beautiful tonight.”

For a moment, Rey forgot to breathe.

Only to be reminded a second later when Finn dropped back into the booth. “Time to dance!”

Rey tore her eyes from Poe’s just as Finn cocked his head, looking from one to the other with a far too clever look on his face. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“No!” she and Poe practically shouted as one. 

Finn narrowed his eyes.

Rey slid out of the booth and extended a hand, intent on distracting him. And maybe herself. “Come on, let’s dance.”

Finn looked sceptical, but followed her out of the booth, stopping to turn toward Poe. “You coming?”

“In a minute,” he said, eyes unreadable in the low light.

Rey hadn’t noticed before, but at some point the music had changed, the band from earlier replaced with a DJ for the late crowd. Bass, deep and booming, pounded from the speakers and into her bones.

A dance floor had been cleared near the front, tables pushed to either side to make room. Rey stopped dead at the edge.

“There’s no one dancing.”

“Yet. There’s no one dancing,  _ yet _ .” He held out a hand. “That’s where we come in.”

“I am not drunk enough for this.” A lie. 

“Yes you are.”

She laughed and Finn took the opportunity to pull her onto the floor. 

And of course, he was right. The two of them quickly turned into five, which turned into 10, which turned into a mass of beings so dense it was all they could do to move to the music.

She’d forgotten how much fun this was, the movement of her hips, the beat of her heart (and the bass) in her chest. And Finn was an excellent partner, his moves all ridiculous and aimed to make her laugh. Which she did, heartily, as he demonstrated something he called “the angry rathtar.”

“Uh, oh, someone’s jealous,” Finn said a second later, head bobbing toward the table behind them.

Rey turned, finding Poe glaring at the dance floor over his now-empty glass. 

“Poe? Of what?”

Finn gave her a look.

“You’re mad,” she laughed, unable to stop herself. “Why would Poe be jealous of you?”

“You know, a lesser man might be offended by that, but I know what you’re trying to say.”

She whacked Finn on the arm before turning back towards Poe and his scowl, only to find the table empty.

“Shots?”

The voice was directly behind her, and she whirled around to find Poe waiting, three shots in his hands.

They each took a glass, the boys turning to her expectantly. Apparently, it was her turn for a toast. “To nights we’ll never remember and friends we’ll never forget.”

This shot went down easy. Too easy. 

Finn grabbed the empties. "I'm gonna hit the fresher, you guys want anything?"

They both shook their heads, and Finn disappeared into the crowd a second later, leaving them to face either other.

“Dance with me,” Poe said a second later, his voice low. Not quite a question, not quite a demand.

Rey faltered at the question. This felt like a wholly different proposition. “I’m not very good.”

“I’m sure that’s a lie.” He held out a hand. “But I can show you. If you like.”

One heartbeat passed, and then a second as Rey stared at his outstretched hand. With a stiff nod, she finally accepted it.

It turned out Poe could dance. And not like Finn’s goofy steps, no, Poe was all about the hips, his rhythm so good he made you a better just by virtue of being on the floor with him. Rey, amateur that she was and drunk to boot, couldn’t help but feel at odds. But his patient hands guided her hips, helping her feel that same rhythm he found with no effort at all.

“There you go,” he practically hummed, the words sending a shock of heat to her core. “Just loosen up, feel the music in your hips.” 

She was certainly feeling something, but it wasn’t exactly in her hips. 

He was so close now that she could feel the heat radiating off his body, see every fleck of gold in those dark eyes. Once again, his tongue flicked out, and Rey watched its progress across his bottom lip with renewed fascination. She was staring, but then again, so was he. And she found that she couldn't really care, not when she was leaning forward, trying to close that gap-

A crash from the bar drew their attention.

There, a fight had broken out among a rowdy Theelin and a dusky-skinned humanoid.  Rey and Poe exchanged a look.

“Time to go,” he said.

“Definitely time to go.”

They found Finn chatting with another patron at the bar, seemingly oblivious to the situation escalating around him.

“Guys,” he said, sloshing his beer a bit, “this fine gentleman flew for us in the Battle of Exegol.”

The voices behind them grew louder.

“Um, thank you for your service?” Rey said awkwardly, tugging on Finn’s sleeve. “Come on, Finn. Time to go.”

Finn looked over her shoulder, eyebrows shooting skyward. “Whoa, that’s a lot of blasters.”

“Ok, we are leaving now,” said Poe as he herded them both towards the door.

Rey sucked in a deep breath as soon as they were clear, the night air stealing the heat from her flushed skin. They’d almost-  _ She’d  _ almost-

“Rey?”

She looked up, realizing Poe was speaking to her. “Yeah?”

“I was saying that I’m too drunk to fly.”

Rey sighed, looking around the near empty streets. Not a cab in sight. “Me too.” 

“I-” started Finn, but Rey and Poe wasted no time cutting him off.

“You’re definitely not good to fly,” they said at the exact same time.

Finn huffed as the door to the cantina whirred open behind them.

“You guys ready?” said the man Finn had been talking to earlier. The one who had helped them at Exegol.

“As I was trying to say, my friend Wagg here offered to give us a lift.” Finn crossed his arms, a rather smug look on his face. “In case you were wondering, he hasn’t had a drink since the Clone Wars.”

Finn, it turned out, was a chatty drunk.

From the time they got into Wagg’s speeder to the time they pulled into the homestead, Rey swore he didn’t even take a breath. Which suited her just fine. The mindless chatter provided enough distraction that she didn’t need to think about what almost happened on the dance floor.

That is, until Poe’s hand found hers in the darkness.

They’d dropped it again before exiting the speeder, and followed Finn into the house as he continued to prattle on.

“You know what we should do?” he asked, nearly stepping on D-O outside Rey’s room. Rey steadied him as he stepped around the tiny droid. “We should just stay up all night. Just pile into bed and stay up talking like we used to.”

Poe shot her a covert look before asking, “Are you sure you don’t want to just pass out? Long flight tomorrow and all.”

Finn waved him off, grabbing Rey’s hand and dragging her into the bedroom. “Nah, I’m not tired at all. Come on, it’ll be like old times.” 

So that’s how Rey found herself sandwiched between Finn and Poe a few minutes later, laughing as Finn told them stories about his exploits with Lando.

“So everyone has their blasters raised and-”

“Wait, I thought these were old friends of his?” interjected Poe.

Finn looked at him like he was nuts. “They were. Most of Lando’s friends pull a blaster on him at least once.”

“Remind me never to be friends with Lando,” Rey laughed, stretching her arms above her head. It was late, or early, she supposed, depending on your point of view, and her eyes were growing heavy. She needed something to keep her awake. “I think I need tea.” She turned to Poe. “You want some tea?”

“Sure,” he replied, stifling a yawn. “I can make it. Finn? You want some tea? Maybe a cup of caf?”

No response.

“Finn?”

Rey turned over to find Finn face down and snoring. She promptly burst out laughing.

“Up all night my ass,” muttered Poe. He started to get out of bed. “In that case, I’m just going to bed.”

Any other night, she would have let him go without a second thought. But those two (or wait, was it three?) shots were still fizzing through her veins.

“Stay,” she said, reaching for his arm as he turned off the light. “Like Finn said, it’ll be like old times.”

Poe smiled, letting a gentle tug direct him back on to the bed. She could hear Finn’s steady snores as Poe laid down, facing her on his side. 

Later, she’d blame the alcohol, that dizzying feeling that anything could happen, but when she reached a hand up to trace the soft lines of his face, she knew exactly what she was doing. His eyes fell closed under her touch, letting her explore every inch of his face with her fingertips. The slightly furrowed brow. The wide nose. The soft lips. 

Poe didn’t so much as flinch as she ran her finger down his cheek, pausing briefly on the scar just under his eye. The scar Kylo Ren and the First Order had put on his handsome.

They were so close, she could feel the warmth of his breath with every exhale. 

When his eyes popped open a second later, the intensity in his gaze was almost too much to handle. And yet, she found herself unable to look away. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he whispered as one hand came up to brush the hair out of her eyes.

A more sober Rey would have let the subject drop, would have said something innocuous or funny, but that Rey was nowhere to be found. “What were you and Finn fighting about earlier?”

She swore his cheeks pinked up, but she couldn’t be sure in the near darkness. One thing she could be sure of was that he was telling the truth when he answered, “You.”

There was a lot contained in those three letters, far too much for her to unpack in her current state. Her heart thundered so loudly in her chest she imagined Poe could hear it. 

His eyes remained steady on her, thumb stroking gently against her cheek.

“Poe…” she said his name like a plea. She had just barely begun to put herself back together. Three days was no time at all. “I can’t. Not right now.”

He leaned forward just enough that their foreheads touched. “I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he said, sadness coating the words. Without warning, he pulled back, making to get off the bed.

Instinctively, she reached for him. “Wait.”

Poe paused, and for the second time that evening, settled into her bed. It was with her hand in his that she fell asleep a few minutes later.


	9. A Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of their night out, Poe and Rey's relationship shifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience as I try to write in this new socially distant world! It is really weird being home and all the time and for some reason nearly impossible for me to focus on writing. But that being said, we're in the home stretch now! I have a plan, and I can't wait to share the rest of this with you guys.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey woke slowly, sleep reluctant to let her go after all these months spent apart. A full night of blissful nothingness, and not the gaping void that haunted her dreams. It had been so long, she’d almost forgotten what it was like to wake naturally.

A headache pulsed at her temples, but that was to be expected, she supposed. Water. She needed water.

Cracking an eye, Rey was immediately rewarded with a bolt of pain straight through her skull, courtesy of the light pouring in through the window.

Ok, so it was gonna be one of those days.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself to roll out of bed…

Only to immediately meet resistance. Warm, alive resistance, that tightened his arms around her middle when she tried to get up.

Poe.

The night started to come back to her in fits and starts.

Shots. More shots. Moments of truth. Dancing with Finn. Even more shots. Dancing with Poe. A quick getaway. The three of them piling in to her bed. Finn’s snores.

But it was the next part that felt like a dream.

Pulling him back into the bed. Tracing the lines of his face. Poe trying to tell her something…

And Rey immediately shutting him down. 

The last thing she remembered was putting her hand in his and asking him to stay. It looked like that request was honored.

She would have sworn they fell asleep facing each other, but at some point things must have shifted. Now, they were lined up like spoons in drawer, the heat of his chest pressed against her back as he held her to him. One hand rested on the exposed skin of her stomach, the shirt having ridden up over the course of the night, and his face was buried in her hair, breaths hitting her neck in even bursts.

“Poe,” she whispered, elbowing him gently in the stomach. It was harder than she expected. Louder this time, “Poe.”

He roused, slightly, burying his face deeper in her hair. “Five more minutes.” His voice was like gravel in her ear.

A soft smile spread across her face. It was so tempting to just stay like this, warm and safe in his arms, but there were more pressing concerns. Like the pounding in her head or Finn’s still-sleeping presence mere inches away. So she let herself pretend for just a moment that this was real life, that she woke up like this every morning, before she turned her attention back to waking Poe.

“Poe,” she said, this time shaking the arm around her middle.

He loosened his grip, enough that Rey was able to turn around to face him. 

Dark eyelashes fluttered as he slowly came to life, smiling when he finally brought her into focus. “Morning, sunshine.”

“Morning,” she replied, blinking in disbelief. It wasn’t fair that he looked this good first thing, all tousled curls and lazy half-smiles that made his eyes go crinkly in the corners. 

Poe reached up to brush her hair back.

Movement on the opposite side of the bed made it clear they were no longer alone. Immediately, Poe and Rey sprang apart.

Finn groaned, hands on his head. “Gods, what happened?”

It was a slow start to the day on the Skywalker homestead. 

There was much grumbling as Rey herded everyone out of her bed, the three of them chugging enough water to make her wonder if there’d be any left for the harvest at this rate.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, Finn poking queasily at his cereal while Rey and Poe tried not to get caught exchanging covert glances across the table. 

They were not successful.

“So, are we not talking about whatever this is,” said Finn, motioning between the two of them with his spoon.

Rey looked down, trying not to grin at the flush creeping up Poe’s neck. “I have no idea what you’re talking about," he said, not fooling anyone.

Finn quirked a very skeptical brow at him. “Fine, keep your secrets. But just know you’re not fooling anyone.”

“You ready for your saber lesson?” she asked, deciding to spare them all the embarrassment. 

Finn pushed away his mostly uneaten bowl. “There is absolutely zero chance I’m sparring with you today.”

“What, are you afraid to get beaten?”

“No, I’m afraid I’ll throw up. On you. Anyway, I am perfectly capable of wielding a lightsaber, thank you very much. Or do you not remember Starkiller?”

“I remember waking up and finding you unconscious with my saber stuck in the snow.”

Finn waved her off. “Details. I held my own against Kylo kriffing Ren. The saber lessons are gonna have to wait.”

All too soon, it was time for Finn to take off. As she watched the men say their goodbyes, Rey found herself getting a little misty-eyed.

“General,” said Poe, a grin on his face.

Finn nodded in return. “General.”

“That never gets old.” Poe pulled the other man into a crushing hug.

A second later, Poe pulled back, blinking rapidly as he stepped to the side to make room for Rey.

Finn opened his arms.

By the time she closed the distance, a sob had escaped her lips, her words coming out in bits and pieces. “N-now, you h-have the list I g-gave you?” she said, mostly into his shoulder. Finn hugged her tighter. “A-all the places--”

“--where kyber was known to be found. I have it. Next time you see me, I’ll be ready to build.”

“A-and the meditation? Every d-day?”

“Every day.”

Rey swallowed down the next round of tears. “Are you sure you have to go?”

“You and Poe can take care of each other just fine without me.” Finn leaned back far enough to see her face. “I promise. And we’ll actually pick up a comm this time, right?”

She smiled at the gentle admonishment. “Right.”

“Anyway, I think we’ll be seeing each other again sooner rather than later.” He gave her an exaggerated wink. 

She quirked her head. “What?”

“Soon,” was all he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and stepping back. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have two lovely ladies eagerly awaiting my return to Coruscant.”

“Just friends?” asked Poe with a laugh. Rey couldn’t help but be grateful when he threw a comforting arm around her still-shaking shoulders. Instantly, she melted into his side, wrapping one arm around his back.

Finn’s answering grin went wide. “Just friends.”

Together they watched him go, waving him up the ramp and into the air. Poe didn’t let her go even as Finn’s ship dropped out of sight, squeezing her tighter as she continued to sniffle.

It was a while before he spoke. “So what’s the over/under on our speeder still being in that alley this afternoon?”

Rey laughed, burying her head in his shoulder. His familiar scent engulfed her, the soap they both used mixed with engine oil and an inexplicable whiff of leather, even though she hadn’t seen that jacket he loved in forever. She found herself inhaling deeply.

Poe’s head came to rest against hers, his nose buried in the loose waves of her hair.

It took them a second to realize what they were doing. And another second to jump apart.

“Uh, yeah, I’m gonna go check the vaporators,” he said at the exact same time Rey announced, “BB-8 and D-O need oil baths, so I’m gonna go do that.”

They stood frozen, Rey watching as Poe ran a hand through his messy hair. It was nearly long enough to be tied back now. 

“Yeah, I’m gonna…” he trailed off, pointing in the general direction of the vaporators.

Rey nodded, starting to walk toward the garage. “Me too, me too.”

And so began the strangest weeks of their lives.

Rey meditated and trained. Poe took his short hauls and started wearing his hair in a bun. They both took care of the farm. 

Their nights were still punctuated by nightmares, but now when Rey woke up screaming, Poe would hold her until she fell back asleep, the two of them sharing her bed more often than not. It turned out, the best pillow in the galaxy was Poe Dameron’s chest.

They didn’t speak about it.

And why should they? Finn would do the same for her in a heartbeat. It was strictly platonic. Right?  _ Right? _

Besides, whatever Poe had been trying to tell her that night after the cantina hadn’t been brought up again. It was better that way. Things were complicated enough.

But as the days and nights marched on, Rey wondered. She wondered if there had been more he wanted to say. She wondered what he had been trying to tell her. And most of all, she wondered if maybe she’d turned him down a bit too soon.

Because while she wasn’t quite there yet, there was no doubt in Rey’s mind that she was healing. Slowly, but surely.

On the day the invitation arrived, Rey had just gotten in from a workout with the newly repaired training remote, a particularly direct hit still stinging on her arm as she sat down with a glass of water. Poe was puttering around somewhere, muttering something about dinner.

Both of their comms went off simultaneously. 

Poe poked his head into the room, and she knew her own face matched his worried expression. It was a conditioned response. Back on base, it had never been a good sign when everyone’s comms went off at the same time.

With Poe standing behind her, Rey played the message.

She let out a breath when Connix’s familiar face came to life in front of her.

“Honored guest,” her holographic form said, not quite making eye contact with them. Pre-recorded then. “I’d like to cordially invite you to a celebration of the life of Leia Organa. Princess. Senator. General.”

Definitely not what she’d been expecting.

“Her contributions to the galaxy were many, and her heroism in the face of the First Order will be honored with the Medal of Bravery, the highest award in this Republic and the last.

“After the ceremony, please join us for dinner and dancing in the Coruscant Grand Ballroom.”

She went on to give details about the date and time and RSVPs before the message clicked off of its own accord.

Almost as soon as the message ended, another comm came through.

Rose’s face blinked into existence. “Did you get it?” 

“Yeah, we just watched it.” Something dawned on Rey. “Wait, is this what Finn meant when he said he’d see us soon?”

Rose nodded vigorously, so excited that her words all seemed to blend together. “Yup, we’ve been planning this for months. Something to really mark an end to the conflict and upheaval. And to honor the General, of course. You guys will be there, right?” 

Rey let out a laugh. Gods, she’d missed Rose. “Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

A door slammed elsewhere in the house, Rey turning around to find Poe gone. She and Rose exchanged a confused look.

“What’s that about?” asked Rose, nodding in the general direction Poe had gone.

Rey shrugged, though she was genuinely concerned. It wasn’t like Poe to storm off, and certainly not in the middle of a call. Rose hadn’t even said anything that could be deemed offensive. “Not sure.” She turned her attention back to Rose. “But tell me about you. How’s life in Coruscant?”

Rose launched into a detailed explanation of the event and the venue, the two catching up for nearly a half hour before Rose was pulled away by some catering emergency. 

“And don’t even think about getting a dress,” said Rose, waving off someone just out of sight. “As Leia’s apprentice, we’ve set aside something gorgeous from her private collection for you to wear.”

Rey’s eyes went wide in panic. She’d seen some old holos from Leia’s princess days. “Oh no, there’s no need,” she said, trying not to sound desperate. “I’m more than capable--”

Rose cut her off. “Nonsense. Leia would want you to wear them. And I picked out a stunner for you.”

That was exactly what Rey was afraid of.

“Anyway, I’ve really got to run, but I can’t wait to see you guys!”

“Wait, Rose,” said Rey, but it was too late. She was already gone.

Rey sighed and leaned back in her chair. Bad enough that Poe was acting weird, now she had to worry about whatever Rose had set aside for her from Leia’s private collection.

It wasn’t that Rose had bad taste per se. She just had very different taste from Rey. Not to mention that Rey wasn’t a big fan of dresses to begin with. 

Oh well, she had bigger fish to fry than her hatred of formalwear. Where did Poe run off to?

She found him in the sunken courtyard, staring at the little nest of porglets that had hatched the other day with a glower on his face. Though something told her this had nothing to do with the porglets.

“Hey,” she said, dropping down on the sagging couch next to him. 

His voice was clipped, his attention never leaving the porglets. “Hey.”

For the first time, she noticed the tension in his limbs, the stiff way he held himself. Even that one little word sounded brittle to her ears. She proceeded cautiously.

“So, what’s going on?” she asked, keeping her voice light.

His head snapped to face her so quickly Rey leaned back in surprise. Anger lined every inch of his face, the bitter emotion radiating off him in waves. “This thing for Leia is banthashit.”

Ok, not what she’d been expecting. This was apparently a night of surprises. She let him go on.

“It’s real convenient that she’s a hero now, after she’d dead. How many years did they ignore her? She tried to warn them about the First Order and they laughed her out of the Senate, called her paranoid and a war monger.” 

He paused long enough to shake his head.

“How many people needed to die for them to believe her? For them to believe me?”

Rey’s chest tightened. This wasn’t only about Leia. 

“One or two or 10,000 weren’t enough. Muran wasn’t enough. An entire system. It took an entire fucking system gone for them to listen.” His voice broke on the last word, and Rey’s heart along with it. “And now they want to trot us all out and pretend that they treated her like some hero all along? It’s pathetic.”

The words may have been full of anger, but the slight tremble in his bottom lip betrayed what lied beneath that fury.

“Oh, Poe.” All it took was for her to reach for his hand and he was crying, deep, wracking sobs that shook both his body and hers when she wrapped her arms around him.

All this time, she thought he'd been fine. How had she missed it? This certainly wasn’t new. It must have been brewing for a while. They’d been living together for how long, and she’d been too wrapped up in her own misery to notice that he’d been carrying this around. 

“It’s okay,” she murmured, trying all the things he did for her when she was upset. Rubbing his back, gently petting his hair. She had half a mind to offer him a cup of tea. A bitter laugh threatened to bubble up. They were both kind of terrible at this. “I’m so sorry, Poe.” 

It sure as hells didn’t come naturally to her. On Jakku, tears and comfort were two things no one could afford. It had only been during the last couple of years that she’d learned all the ways that people were kind to each other. How people cared for each other. Finn, Rose, Poe, Connix, even Jannah had showed her the way.

So she held Poe tighter and whispered soft words and let him cry it out the way he had for her night in and night out. 

Eventually his breathing evened out, sobs turning to pants turning to normal breath.

A second later he pulled away, Rey reluctant to let him go.

His eyes looked anywhere but her own. “Sorry, I don’t know what…” he trailed off, swiping a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean to…”

She put a hand on his arm, the touch featherlight. “You don’t have to apologize.” When he didn’t flinch, she let that hand slide down until their fingers twined.

Poe simply nodded, eyes trained on the chirping porglets.

Without speaking, Rey stood, Poe providing no resistance as she tugged him to his feet and down the hall to her room. Onto her bed. 

_ This was friendly _ , she told herself as she followed a second later.  _ This was what friends did. Completely platonic. _

They settled facing each other once more, Rey methodically brushing back the curls that had come loose from his bun. Poe’s red-rimmed eyes fell closed, his breathing evening enough that she thought he had fallen asleep before his words startled her out of a trance.

“They want me to give a speech.” His voice was rough, like pebbles scraping across her skin. “Tell the galaxy how wonderful she was while conveniently forgetting how terribly they treated her. The legend, not the truth.”

Rey was thoughtful for a moment, cataloguing the pain in those normally warm eyes, the tension that left creases at the corners. “We don’t have to decide tonight.”

Poe looked at her, confusion scrunching his brow. “Rey, you don’t have to-”

“If you go, I go,” she said, shrugging. “If not, we’ll send Rose our regrets.”

For a moment, she thought he would start crying again before he took a deep, shuddering breath and simply nodded at her, gratitude plain on his face.

They stayed there, unmoving, as the minutes stretched, a comfortable silence settling over them. She longed to run her fingers over the lines of his face, to feel the rasp of his two-day growth under the palm of her hand like she had that night when Finn was here. But in the absence of liquid courage, she had to settle for tugging his hair free of the tie he’d borrowed from her.

Dark curls sprung free, peppered here and there with the occasional grey. It was the same with his beard, she’d started to notice, tiny bursts of white interspersed with the dark scruff.

His eyes never left hers, the intensity of his gaze becoming too much. She needed a distraction. And quickly.

“Tea?” she asked, earning the soft smile she’d been hoping for. She started to get up from the bed, Poe’s firm grip stopping her dead.

“No, stay,” he said, the words a plea.

So she stayed, and for once it was her soft voice that coaxed them into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you don't think this event is a very elaborate excuse for a slow dance and formal wear, then you really don't know me at all (ha).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	10. A Change of Scenery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey make a stop on Yavin 4 before heading to Coruscant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating two separate fics on the same day? Who am I?
> 
> Oh that's right, someone working from home and bored out of her mind. 
> 
> That being said, today was terrible and this fic makes me happy, so have another chapter.

They were going to Coruscant.

It had been decided the very next morning, Poe rolling over to face her when they woke. “Let’s do it.”

Rey blinked, suddenly very awake. “Do it?”

“Yeah. Go to Coruscant. For Leia’s thing. We should do it. _I_ should do it.”

She exhaled. Her still-sleeping brain had gone somewhere very different. But certainly not unwelcome. “Ok. Let’s do it.”

With the event now less than a week away, preparations for their departure were in full swing. Vaporators needed to be secured. The porgs needed to be fed. BB-8 and D-O needed to be cleaned and shined and made presentable.

The plan was to take the long way, stopping for a few days on Yavin 4 to visit with Poe’s father before the three of them (plus droids) headed to Coruscant for the ceremony. 

It would be the first time Rey left the planet since she decided to settle here over a year ago, and she couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy at the excitement the thought of leaving brought her. 

If she was being honest with herself (and she definitely wasn’t), the planet was starting to wear on her. But she shoved that down where she put everything she wasn’t ready to deal with these days, and focused on getting ready to honor Leia.

Another thing she wasn’t ready to deal with? The subtle shift in sleeping arrangements. 

They had given up all pretense of separate bedrooms that night the invitation arrived. There was no point for Poe to start in his own bed when they both knew where he’d sleep in the end. 

In her arms.

And yet, it was never any more than that - just sleeping - much to Rey’s ever growing frustration. So frustrated, that she’d sought her own fing--

Nope. That stayed buried with the rest of it.

“You ready?” Poe’s face appeared in the open doorway.

Rey’s head shot up, her face heating as if Poe could read exactly what she’d just been thinking about. 

She swallowed thickly. “Just about.”

Poe cocked his head, obviously noticing that something was up, but mercifully he let it go. “Ok, I’ll get everyone in the Falcon.”

She nodded, turning back to the small bag she’d been packing and repacking for the last hour. It should have been easy, just a few items thrown in a bag, but for some reason she found herself unable to choose. In particular, a couple scraps of black lace that Rose had insisted she purchase the last time she’d been in Coruscant made the journey into and back out of the bag no less than six times in the last hour. She’d never had the cause or the desire to wear them, but maybe…

Poe’s voice drifted in from the courtyard, low as he told a stupid joke to BB-8.

Her mind made up, she shoved the lace into the bottom of the bag, closing the flap before slinging it across her chest.

With one final check on the porgs, she followed the sound of Poe’s voice to their little landing pad, the ramp of the Falcon lowered and waiting for them.

“There you are,” he said, fiddling with one of the external vents as the droids watched at his feet. They were always getting clogged with sand. “Was worried we’d have to leave without you.” He gave her a wink before turning to the droids. “Time to go, boys. Up.”

Rey watched in fascination as D-O got stuck in the sand, Poe simultaneously righting him and giving him a fond little pet like he did with BeeBee.

“T-thank you,” came D-O’s tinny voice as he shot up the Falcon’s ramp after BB-8.

Poe turned, cocking his head at whatever look was on her face. “What?”

“He lets you touch him?” she asked, voice full of wonder. 

“Who, coneface? Yeah, he’s skittish but we’re cool.” He shrugged it off. “You coming?” Poe reached out a hand.

To say D-O was skittish was the understatement of the century. Whatever he’d been through when he belonged to Ochee had left him jumpy and slow to trust. Even around Rey he was wary. So if Poe had earned his trust? 

That made him one of the good guys.

Rey accepted his hand, letting Poe lead her to the cockpit.

Yavin 4 was even more beautiful than she imagined.

So many of Poe’s stories revolved around this place, it felt like she’d already been here. There was the house Kes built for Shara. And on the other side of those trees were the Massassi temples that the Rebellion once called home. She wasn’t sure where to look as they set the Millennium Falcon down at the edge of a wide field. The koyos were months away from harvest, but she could just make out the shape of the plump melons along the ground. There was just so much green.

And yet, it was completely different being here now. The colors were deeper than she imagined, the trees taller, the temples more massive. She was a little shocked to feel the prick of fresh tears come to her eyes as they brought the Falcon down at the edge of the main field, a waving, man-shaped figure growing bigger the closer they got.

Poe shook his head, but he couldn’t hide the soft smile on his face. “Oh, Dad.”

Rey was grateful that no words were necessary as they took the Falcon through the shutdown procedures and grabbed their bags, Poe’s hand a welcome warmth on the small of her back when he led her down the ramp and straight into Kes’s waiting embrace.

He took Poe into his arms first, whispering words in a language other than basic as the two men embraced. Poe’s voice was scratchy with unshed tears when he responded in kind, Rey’s chest aching with something akin to longing as she watched them.

“And the lovely Rey,” said Kes a second later, turning to her with warm, brown eyes the twins of Poe’s. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

Next to her, Poe’s face turned a lovely shade of pink.

But Rey just smiled at the older man, cataloguing all the similarities to Poe. And there were a lot. “I’ve heard a lot about you as well.”

Kes smiled wide at that, yet another expression she recognized from her friend. “Come here,” he added, enveloping her in a crushing hug. He wasn’t much taller than Poe, but it was enough that Rey registered the difference. 

“Dad, you gotta let her breathe,” came Poe’s voice from behind her, but she honestly didn’t mind. 

She hadn’t been held like this since those final few moments before she left for Pasaana, when Leia hugged her tight enough to bring tears to Rey’s eyes. It was different from when she hugged Finn or Poe. Not the embrace of a brother or a -  _ lover _ , her traitorous brain supplied, though that technically wasn’t true - but that of a parent. She found herself blinking back tears for the second time that hour.

All too soon, Kes was pulling back, keeping one arm around her shoulders as he steered her toward the house. “Now, I made dinner, nothing fancy, but you’re looking much too thin. We need our Jedi strong.”

“Gee, I see where I rank,” said Poe, trailing a few steps behind them. She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know he was smiling. It was all there in his voice.

Kes waved him off, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Nonsense, you’re nowhere near too thin.” 

He staggered forward half a step when Poe gave him a playful shove, taking Rey with him. Kes burst out laughing. “Come on, jealous boy. I have two arms." He slung that second arm around Poe’s shoulders, guiding them all onto the porch. “And we should really talk about that hair.”

Kes and Poe kept up that comfortable banter all through dinner, Rey trying to keep up where she could. 

Speaking of dinner, it had been a far less simple affair than Kes had let on, three courses with enough food to feed a small army. And that wasn’t even including the dessert they were all currently demolishing. It was some kind of a koyo mousse, sweet enough to make Rey’s teeth ache. She was on her third helping.

“Mid-life crisis?” asked Kes, earning another whack from Poe.

Poe set down his spoon. “Kriff, Dad I’m only thirty-four. I sure as hells hope it’s not the middle of my life.”

As if just realizing what he’d said, the smile slid off Poe’s face, his hand touching the ring that hung around his neck. Kes’s face mirrored the expression. 

Trying to break the strange, sudden tension, Rey piped in, “Well, I think it’s handsome.”

Rey’s cheeks heated as both men turned to face her, eyebrows raised. 

“The man bun?” asked Kes, slightly incredulous. Without warning, he burst out laughing. “Oh, this ones a keeper if she thinks _that_ ,” he pointed at the top of Poe’s head, “looks handsome.” He was up a second later, clearing the table. “You sure I can’t interest you in another helping, mija?”

Rey smiled at the term of endearment. She had no clue what it meant, but he called Poe “mijo,” so it must be good. “Nah, I think three bowls is my limit.” She patted the slight bulge of her stomach, more full than she’d been in weeks. Possibly ever.

“Well it’s here if you’re hungry later.” 

As Kes busied himself once more with the mountain of dishes, Rey noticed Poe watching her out of the corner of her eye, an impossibly fond look on his face. She looked down, not quite willing to meet the heat in those eyes.

She looked up in enough time to see Kes give the bun a playful whack. “Are you really gonna keep this thing for the ceremony?” 

Poe ran his fingers through the pulled back hair, straightening the tie. “Well, I wasn’t going to, but now that you mention it…”

Kes barked out a laugh. “There’s that stubborn streak. Maker, between the hair and that attitude it feels like I stepped back in time 20 years.”

“You had long hair back then?” she asked, watching as Poe’s eyes tightened slightly at the question. Weird.

But it was Kes who answered, “Down to his shoulders! Should have known he was gonna be a handful then and there.”

“I can’t picture Mr. Duty and Honor as a long-haired rebel.” Rey laughed, even when the room went weirdly quiet.

Inexplicable tension filled the ensuing silence, a lightbulb going off in Rey’s brain. “Wait, that’s around the time you met Zorii, isn’t it?” She directed her next question back to Kes. “What were they like back then? Did she always wear that helmet?”

Kes cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t know.” Abruptly, he turned, leaving the dishes as he headed for the back door. “I just remembered I was supposed to go check the irrigation lines. I’ll be...”

He was gone before he finished the sentence.

Rey turned to Poe in confusion, only to find him with his head in his hands. 

“Was it something I said?”

Poe looked up, that tightness remaining in his eyes even when he gave her a weak smile. “It’s a sore subject. We uh, don’t talk about it. Ever.”

She started to apologize but Poe put up a hand to stop her. 

“It’s fine, Rey. You didn’t know.”

She waited a second before asking, “What happened?”

Leaning back in his chair, Poe loosed a sigh, scrubbing both hands over his face. “Ran away from home. Broke my dad’s heart. It wasn’t my proudest moment.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“I don’t know. Because I was a little shit? Because I thought I knew better than everyone, especially my dad? Because I thought I was in love? All of the above?”

Something akin to jealousy rumbled in her stomach at what she assumed was an admission of Zorii’s role in all this. He thought he was in love. Something else to add to the list of things she didn’t think about.

“I am sorry,” she insisted, reaching for one of his hands. 

“I know.” He gave it a squeeze in recognition before tugging her to her feet. “Come on, let’s finish these dishes.”

It took Kes almost an hour to come back to the house, by which time Poe and Rey had not only finished the dishes, but wiped down the counters, swept the floor, and put away the leftovers.

“I’m sure you two are exhausted from the trip,” Kes said, standing in the doorway as if nothing had happened. They don’t talk about it, indeed. “Come on, let’s show you to your rooms.”

She exchanged a look with Poe, but followed his father out of the kitchen and into the main part of the house, taking in as much as she could. 

It was comfortable, lived in, with pictures peppering every flat surface. A curly headed child with both front teeth missing. Kes and a beautiful young woman, presumably Poe’s mother, embracing in front of an older model A-wing, both dressed in their Rebel Alliance finest. A shot of the family, all three laughing at something outside the frame.

So much joy. But Rey knew the way that story ended. And probably not long after that last picture had been taken if she was guessing Poe’s age correctly.

“You’ll be in here,” Kes said to Poe as they passed the living room couch, a couple pillows and extra blankets stacked neatly on one end. “And we’ll put Rey in your room.”

“I can take the couch,” she said quickly. “No need for Poe to give up his room.”

Both men turned toward her with a flat, “No,” the single word leaving no room for discussion.

Poe laughed at the look on her face, ushering her toward the back of the house. “Here, I’ll show you my room.”

She felt more than saw the knowing look Kes shot Poe as he directed her to his room, Rey’s face heating at the implication. Not that it was far off. Just that Kes  _ knew _ .

It was obvious a second later when they walked through the door that Poe’s room hadn’t been changed since he left home however many years ago. Posters of bands Rey had never heard of lined the pale blue walls, while trophies and model ships sat on every available surface. Holonovels were stacked on shelves and nightstands and in a box she could see through the open closet door. It was chaotic and messy and so overwhelmingly Poe that her heart gave a squeeze.

Poe, noticing her scrutiny, ran a nervous hand over his hair. “So, uh, bathroom’s across the hall, Dad’s next door, and I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.”

It looked like he wanted to say something more, but no words came as they stood facing each other in the middle of the room. Though she would never admit it, it felt weird to be sleeping apart after all these weeks, even if he was just down the hall.

“Good night,” she said, her entire body listing toward his like she was caught in his gravitational pull. 

Poe leaned toward her. “Night.”

They were on a collision course, Poe’s face growing closer by the second, when Kes’s voice came from the other room.

“Poe? Come on, I’ll help you make up the couch.”

Rey jumped back, the spell broken.

Poe blinked, his eyes clearing a second later. “Coming, Dad!”

He disappeared with a final, wistful look over his shoulder.

It took Rey a half hour to will her heart back to a normal rhythm, and another half an hour after that to even attempt closing her eyes, though sleep remained elusive as she tossed and turned in Poe’s bed. 

So it was no surprise at all when she heard the door open, footsteps she’d know anywhere padding across the hardwood floor.

A second later the mattress dipped and familiar arms wrapped around her, Poe’s voice barely a whisper in her ear. “You awake?”


	11. A Day (and Night) on Yavin 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I pulled the trigger and bumped this up to E. This chapter is a solid M, but I know what's coming (heh) so I did the thing. 
> 
> A warning: Is there a more elegant way to say dry humping? Because there is quite a bit of dry humping here. And a splash of masturbation.

This bed was a lot smaller than the one back home.

It was the first thought that crossed her mind when she woke up that morning completely tangled in Poe. Not that she was complaining. In fact, it was quite the opposite with those tan arms around her middle, the heat of his bare chest soaking through the thin shirt she slept in. Their feet lay entwined at the end of the bed, every inch of him lined up with every inch of her. Especially the several hard and healthy inches pushing insistently against her backside. 

Rey shimmied her hips back, savoring the bit of friction it afforded her. 

They’d spent half the night talking, just talking, in whispered tones, trying not to wake Kes next door, and as such Poe woke slowly, one arm pulling her even closer while his hips ground against her in half-sleep. She gasped at the feel of him against her, at the soft growl in the shell of her ear, at the way his hand pressed flat against her stomach, questing lower...and lower…

The floorboards creaking just outside the room broke whatever spell had been cast, Poe immediately pulling away with a muttered, “Kriff. Kriff, I’m sorry.”

Rey nearly wept at the loss of contact, her frustration mounting at the empty ache between her thighs. But she managed to turn herself to face him in the small space, one hand coming up to touch his stubbled cheek. “It’s ok. I like it.”

Poe’s grin was slow to spread across his face, Rey’s finger tracing every line it left behind while his hand found its way to her hip.

“Poe?” came Kes’s voice from deeper in the house. Presumably the living room. “You up?”

“Ah, shit,” said Poe with a sigh, burying his face in her collarbone for a split second. “I think we’re caught.”

Rey stifled a giggle as Poe tip-toed out of bed and to the door, cracking it slightly to listen to what was happening in the house beyond. 

“BB-8?” he whispered into the hall, familiar beeps greeting him a second later. “Shhh. Do me a favor and distract Dad for a minute, will you?”

BeeBee gave a strained warble.

“None of your business, that’s what I was doing in Rey’s room. Now please go get Dad’s attention away from the hall.”

With a disgruntled beep, the little droid took off down the hallway, easily drawing Kes to the opposite side of the house. 

Poe threw one final long-suffering look over his shoulder before he darted into the hall, the door snicking shut a second later. "You calling me, Dad? I was in the bathroom..." His voice faded as he moved through the house.

Rey leaned back against the pillows, a sigh of frustration on her lips. The ache grew more insistent, so she closed her eyes and let her hand dip lower, imagining those fingers were Poe’s as they hit her core. Soft sighs filled the room. Poe’s fingers would be thicker, his touch firmer on her body, but she ignored those facts in favor of letting that sweet, sweet tension build.

It was another minute before her fingers struck proverbial gold, her mind going white as stars exploded and muscles flexed and released.

Panting, she melted back into the mattress, sated but not wholly satisfied. At least the ache had lessened.

“Rey?” There was a soft knock at the door, Kes’s voice just on the other side. “Breakfast!”

She tried to make her voice sound as even as possible as she answered, “Be right there.”

At the sound of retreating footsteps she let go of a breath, scrambling out of bed and throwing on some clothes. That had been close.

She found Kes and Poe in the kitchen, the former smirking at the latter as he dished out eggs. 

“Rey!” said Kes, noticing her hovering in the doorway. “Come in, come in.” He waved her into the room, holding out the chair next to Poe. “How did you sleep, mija?”

Rey smiled as he heaped eggs and some crispy-looking meat onto her plate. “Good.” Starving as always, she took a giant bite.

“Are you sure? You and Poe both look a little tired this morning.”

Rey choked, coughing and sputtering enough that Kes whacked her on the back a couple times. 

“You okay there?” asked Kes, all innocence.

Rey took a tentative sip of koyo juice, swallowing down another cough. “Yeah. Went down the wrong pipe.”

Looking up, she found Poe looking at her, a half smirk on his face.

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” Kes set down his plate, taking the seat next to Rey. 

“Well, I was hoping Poe would take me to see this Force tree I keep hearing so much about,” she said, looking toward Poe on her other side.

He shifted in his seat. “Uh, actually, I’m meeting an old friend at the temples, but I’m sure Dad would be happy to show you the tree.”

Rey tried not to let her heart sink. “The massassi temples?” Something clicked in her brain. “Wait, didn’t they turn those into a base?”

Poe exchanged a look with Kes. “Actually, a flight school.”

Well, it made sense that he’d know someone at the flight school, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that he wasn’t telling her something. She pushed the feeling down. He’d tell her when he was ready. Rey trusted him.

She turned back toward Poe’s father. “Then I guess it’s you and me?”

The older man smiled at her. “I’d be honored.”

The tree stood at the edge of the Dameron farm, where the thick jungle trees encroached on the more manicured lawns of the property. Even without Kes and BB-8 by her side, she would have found her way here, the pull of the Force that strong. 

By the time they reached the small clearing, it was practically humming through her veins, so much more alive than its sister on Ahch-To.

And there, among the purple-barked massassis, stood the tree, its faint blue glow chasing all the shadows from the clearing. Whispers reached her ears, the voices of many stirring something deep in her memory. 

_ These are your final steps, Rey. Rise and take them. _

_ Rey. _

_ Rey. _

_ Rey. _

_ Bring back the balance, Rey. As I did. _

“Rey?” Kes’s voice penetrated the haze that had fallen over her. 

She blinked at him.

“How about I give you a minute?”

Rey gathered her wits enough to give him a nod. Offhandedly, she noticed that BB-8 didn’t move, never leaving her side when Poe wasn’t around. Almost like he was under a directive.

_ In the night, find the light, Rey. _

_ You're not alone, Rey. _

_ Alone, never have you been. _

She took one tentative step toward the tree, hand outstretched.

_ Every Jedi who ever lived, lives in you. _

_ The force surrounds you, Rey. _

_ Let it guide you. _

_ As it guided us. _

Her palm hit rough bark.

The effect was instantaneous, the voices becoming a cacophony as picture after picture flashed through her mind.

_ Feel the force feeling through you, Rey. _

Faces, old and young and everything in between. 

_ Let it lift you. _

And light, so much light she feared it had blinded her.

_ Rise, Rey. _

With a gasp, she wrenched her hand from the tree, breaths coming in short bursts.

Her head pounded, the images playing over and over. Much like her other visions, there was no rhyme or reason to them, just flashes and feelings and an overwhelming dread. She staggered back.

“Rey?” Kes was there a second later, BB-8’s frantic beeps drawing him back. Strong arms held her shaking frame steady. “Kriff, what happened?”

“I saw…” she trailed off, shaking her head as if she could clear the visions from her mind that way. “I don’t know what I saw. Visions. Voices?” She looked up, realizing that Kes was watching her, worry coating all his normally soft features. “Doesn’t matter. I’m okay.” When it looked like he wasn’t about to believe her, she emphasized, “I promise.”

“Well, either way, let’s get you back to the house.” He wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders, leading her out of the jungle. 

It was hours later that Rey sat on the back porch, listening to the steady beat of rain against the roof as BB-8 rested by her feet. The storm had come on quickly, a brisk wind raising gooseflesh on her exposed skin. She tugged the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

Yavin 4 was cooler than she’d expected. The word jungle made her think of Ajan Kloss and the near unavoidable humidity of that particular planet, though Yavin appeared to be a completely different animal. While still humid, the rainy season skewed cold. Or as Poe put it, temperate. 

But despite the falling temps, it was so peaceful here. A different kind of quiet than the beige dunes of Tatooine or Jakku, especially at night. Here the quiet darkness brought life - the chirp of insects, the rustle of small animals in the brush, the near silent murmurings of the whisperbirds in the trees. 

Not to mention the colors. They jumped out at her from every direction, vibrant purples and blues and greens. So much green. The monochrome sand of Tatooine had nothing on this.

As much as she hated to admit it, she missed rain. And green. And long showers and hot baths and towns it didn’t take an hour in a speeder to get to. And the lack of sand. 

Did she mention how much she hated sand?

Every day on Tatooine wore on her a little more. It just took coming here to drive the fact home.

A shining presence in the Force materialized in the open doorway, drawing her attention outward for the first time in what felt like hours. Poe hovered on the threshold, believing he observed her unobserved. She let him.

It was a full minute before he spoke. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, turning in time to watch him take the seat next to her. 

“It’s okay BeeBee, I’ve got her now.”

BB-8 gave a rather skeptical beep before zipping off into the house.

Poe held open an arm for Rey to scoot closer, an invitation she happily accepted. She let her head fall on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he finally asked, his voice brittle in the night air.

Of course Kes had told him about the scene at the Force tree, probably the second he walked through the door. 

“Yeah. It was just disorienting, that’s all.” She burrowed deeper into his warmth, Poe’s arm tugging her closer. Exhaustion lay over her like a second, much heavier blanket. If given the opportunity, she'd sleep just like this, safe and warm in his arms.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Rey tilted her face up, noticing for the first time the hard set of his mouth, the tension around his eyes. “Hey, you couldn’t have known. Hells, I didn’t even know I’d react that way.”

“I know.” He held her even tighter, burying his nose in her hair.

A minute passed in silence as they looked out at the dark jungle, Rey tugging the blanket so it covered him as well.

“Will you cut my hair?”

Rey blinked up at him. She’d offered once, forever ago. Honestly, she thought he’d forgotten.

“Are you sure?” She smiled, finding a second wind. “I stand by my earlier assessment. I think it’s handsome.”  _ I think you’re handsome, _ her traitorous brain added.

Poe smiled as if he’d heard the words loud and clear. “Yeah, I’m sure.” He ran a hand through his bunned hair, more self conscious than she’d ever seen him. “Dad’s right, there'll be cameras and holovids and I’m not sure this,” he gestured toward the bun, “is how I’d like the galaxy to remember me.”

Rey laughed, jumping to action a second later.

They settled on the kitchen for the main event, by virtue of its easily sweepable floor and good lighting. Poe dug out an old pair of shears from his dad’s bathroom. Rey settled a towel over his shoulders. In no time at all, they were ready to begin.

Rey took the leather tie that he’d stolen from her nearly a month ago out of his hair, the curls finally freed. 

They sprung forth, dark and riotous, Rey’s nimble fingers picking through the worst of the tangles. Poe purred low in his throat when her short nails scraped against his scalp, his head dropping back to rest on her stomach. 

“You know I can’t cut your hair like this.” 

Poe’s eyes popped open, the melted chocolate of his gaze searing up at her. “I know.”

With a final look, he straightened, the loss of his warmth leaving her with only the ache at her core to worry about. She shifted, squeezing her thighs to relieve a modicum of the tension there.

Her hand came up to rest on his shoulder. “So how short?”

Poe thought about it a second, absently running his fingers through his curls as if saying goodbye. “I trust you.”

“You want me to decide?” she asked with a laugh. “Brave man.”

He patted the hand on his shoulder. “Do your worst, Skywalker.”

“How about we start at my best and work our way down,” she replied, giving his hand a squeeze before walking around to survey her canvas.

There was no denying it: Poe was as pretty as a picture with those curls framing his face. A work of art. Most women would kill for the hair alone, as soft and thick as it was, but Rey was more interested in the play of light across those cheekbones, the softness of his mouth, the deep shadows under those warm, dark eyes. She looked with a critical eye, debating the best course of action. Too short and there would be no curl left. Too long and this whole exercise will have been in vain.

To his credit, Poe didn’t so much as flinch under the scrutiny, eyes following her as she walked around him.

Her mind made up, she moved back behind his chair.

Poe stayed silent under the steady snick of her scissors, black hair falling to the ground lock by lock. There was a fair amount of grey shot through those curls, more than she realized. And with each snip she revealed more.

As she made her way around his head, she found herself face to face with Poe once again, trying to get the length around his face just right. She needed to get closer.

The decision was made before she could even think about it, Rey stepping forward to sit on his lap. Poe’s hands wrapped around her waist instantly to steady her, his fingers meeting on the small of her back as she carefully cut his bangs.

Running a hand through the newly shorn hair, she looked for any pieces she missed, snipping here and there to even things up. Even as she concentrated, she could feel Poe’s eyes on her, his hands wandering up to ribs and down to the swell of her ass. 

Rey shifted at his touch, a tiny gasp escaping his lips. She was so close she could pick out every fleck of green and gold in those honeyed brown eyes, even with the pupils blown. Her free hand continued to run through his hair as she moved her hips a little more intentionally, Poe growing hard beneath her.

They were out in the open, not that she cared as she tried to chase any bit of friction she could find. The shears lay abandoned on the table.

She took his face in both hands, relishing the rasp of his burgeoning beard against her cracked and calloused palms. But Poe didn’t seem to mind that she’d never be one of those soft, delicate women as he leaned into her touch, his face so close now it was hard to bring into focus.

Movement in the back of the house dragged her back to her senses just before lips touched.

“Kes,” she said, panting as her forehead rested upon his. His hands continued to skim up and down her back.

“No, I’m Poe.”

That earned him a whack on the shoulder. 

A low laugh rumbled through his chest. “I know what you mean.” He brought a hand up, gently brushing her hair back from her face. “I swear, one of these days I  _ will _ kiss you...” one finger came up to trace the curve of her cheek, “... and no fathers or droids or best friends will be able to stop us.”

A shiver of anticipation went up her spine.

“Poe? Rey? Where are you?”

With a show of self-restraint she didn’t know she was capable of, Rey swung her leg off his lap, straightening to give a last, unruly curl a snip just as Kes entered the room.

“There you are.” Kes paused, taking in the scene before him. “And there’s my son, the general. Excellent work, mija. We’ll make a respectable man of him yet.” He scuffed a hand over Poe’s newly shorn curls.

“Hey, careful with the hair,” said Poe, swatting Kes’s hand away and getting to his feet. Rey didn’t miss the swift adjustment of the rather large bulge in his pants, though mercifully it seemed Kes did. “And I’ve always been respectable, thank you very much.” He turned toward the night darkened window, his reflection mirrored back at him. He seemed to be pleased with the length, just a hair shorter than it had been when she first met him that day on the Falcon. “This is perfect, Rey.”

Rey looked down, taking the compliment with grace for once. “Thank you.” Still not quite making eye contact, she grabbed the broom from its resting place.

Only to have Kes take it from her hands a second later. Rey turned to him in confusion.

He smiled, his eyes crinkling in the same way as Poe’s. “You’ve had quite the day. I’m sure you’re exhausted. I’ll handle this.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, though there was truth to his words. Exhaustion ached across her very bones, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep until Leia’s ceremony. 

“Positive. Now, off to bed. We have a big day tomorrow.” He gave her an exaggerated wink before turning to Poe. “And you’ll need a shower. Cold, might I suggest,” he said, giving Poe a pointed look.

Poe’s cheeks stained that delightful shade of pink. “Gee, thanks Dad.”

“Anytime,” replied Kes cheerfully, already focused on the task at hand as Poe led her out of the kitchen.

When they passed the couch a second later, Poe stopped, turning back toward the kitchen.

“Dad? Where’s the sheets?”

Kes appeared, leaning against the kitchen doorway. “I think we can all agree not to pretend you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight. No use in wasting clean sheets.” 

Rey blanched.

But Kes was smiling that knowing smile. “So goodnight.”

They had turned to scurry toward the back of the house when Kes’s voice stopped them dead once more.

“Oh, and don’t forget: I’m a very light sleeper.” With a smile, he turned and walked back into the kitchen. “Night!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading/commenting/interacting with this story. With everything going on in the world, your love of this story helped reinspire me to start writing it again and I haven't stopped since. I hope everyone is safe and healthy and that this little story gave you a few minutes of peace in a crazy world.


	12. A Trip to Coruscant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe, Rey, and Kes head to Coruscant for Leia's memorial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We are finally on Coruscant and things are heating up... in another chapter or two. Please bear with me, I promise it will be worth the wait.
> 
> Side note: I'm going to be perfectly honest, the entire idea for this fancy space gala came from this lovely post from [thewintersoldierdisaster](https://thewintersoldierdisaster.tumblr.com/post/190627378875/this-poe-and-this-rey-at-a-space-gala-discuss). And yes, this is exact dress Rey is wearing because I am SHAMELESS.
> 
> Enjoy!

Rey woke alone for the first time in weeks. When she reached over, Poe’s side of the bed was still warm, so he couldn’t have gone far. Either way, she stretched out, grateful for the space. This bed really was tiny.

By the time Poe had returned from the shower last night, his skin cool to the touch, she’d been fast asleep, waking only long enough to shift into his arms before drifting back off. And judging by the light streaming through the windows, she’d slept for a good long while, her encounter with the Force tree leaving her strangely exhausted.

The images still flickered through her mind. Voices, faces, light all coming at her rapid-fire. She pressed her fingers into her closed eyes, trying to shake the feeling that these images were trying to tell her something. Something important about herself.

She dropped back onto the pillows with a sigh. It was no use. The visions remained a mystery.

What wasn’t a mystery was the person behind the soft knocks at the door, Poe poking his head in a second later. “Oh, good, you’re up. I was starting to worry.”

“What time is it?” she asked, stretching wide as he crossed the room to the bed.

“10:30.”

She sat straight up. “Kriff, why didn’t you wake me? We have to leave--”

“--In a half hour. I know. But you looked so peaceful and pretty that I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Rey knew what she looked like when she woke up, and pretty was not the word, but she appreciated the effort on his part.

The next half hour was a blur of activity, from getting ready to shoveling breakfast to finding the droids wherever they were off hiding. But all five of them were on the Falcon with five minutes to spare.

“Gods, it looks exactly the same,” said Kes, his eyes skating over every surface of the cockpit. “It’s been thirty years and it still looks the same.”

Rey turned from the control panel. “You’ve been on the Falcon before?”

“Yeah. I served with Han and Leia. And Solo would not shut up about this ship. Literally. We were storming the shield generator on Endor, fighting for our lives and the lives of the entire galaxy, and he was wondering aloud if Calrissian was taking good care of his girl.”

Rey smiled, though something deep in her chest clenched at the story. “That sounds like Han, all right.”

As she turned back to her console, she caught Poe’s worried look. He knew, in vaguest terms, what had happened with Han and Ben on Starkiller. What Han had meant to her, despite only knowing him for a few days.

“Well, I’ll leave this old hunk of junk in your capable hands,” said Kes, taking the seat behind Rey. “Take us away, kids.”

Rey smiled over at Poe before doing just that, the Falcon’s engines coming to life with a familiar hum.

Coruscant was just as loud as she remembered. Maybe even louder.

The drone of life and ships and people hit her like a freighter to the face when they stepped onto the landing berth, the choking stench of ion fumes shoving itself up her nose.

Oh, it was good to be back.

Especially with the welcoming committee that awaited them on the platform.

“Rey!” squealed Rose, running forward to pull her down into a punishing hug. 

Next was Finn and then Jannah and Connix and Beau, all the old guard there to greet them.

Once everyone was hugged and Kes had been introduced all around, Rose led the way to the hotel where the ceremony would take place, jabbering nonstop along the way.

“And just wait until you see the ice sculptures! You know it took me…” 

Finn leaned over, dropping an arm around Rey’s shoulders. “She can go on forever about those ice sculptures.”

Rey laughed, but elbowed him in the gut for good measure. “Be nice. She seems so excited.”

“Yeah, this is apparently a lot more fun than trade negotiations.” Finn shrugged. “Which is why I leave the politics and party planning to her. Now, tell me about you. How are things on Tatooine?”

There was a leading quality to his voice that told her he was actually asking how things were between two specific people on Tatooine. But Rey was more than capable of playing dumb. “Good. Looks like we’ll be ready for the harvest soon. And the porgs are nesting. We’ve got porglets everywhere.”

“Rey.” Finn stretched her name out to two syllables, giving her one of those looks.

“Finn,” she shot back in exactly the same tone.

He squeezed her shoulders once. “Fine, don’t tell me. But I can see it all over you two. In the Force.”

Rey burst out laughing. “That’s not how the Force works.”

“Maybe for you.” Finn arched a brow at her.

She gave him a long look. No, there was no way he could... People couldn’t… Even in the Force. She stood by her earlier statement. That’s not how the Force worked.

Right?

They were inside the hotel a second later, a grand, sweeping lobby filled with chandeliers and statues and other breakable things unfolding before their eyes. 

Rose was already chatting with the girl behind the counter, coming back a second later with her hands full of keys.

“Kes, we’ve got you in a king room with an amazing view of the city,” she said, handing him the little card. Rey tried not the laugh. The whole planet was a city. Every room had a city view. 

“And for our guests of honor,” Rose continued, unstoppable, “a pair of lovely suites. I really can’t thank you two enough for agreeing to speak. It’ll mean so much more coming from you guys.”

Rey caught Poe’s confused expression as Rose handed over his key.

She hadn’t exactly told him that she’d been asked to speak as well, not wanting to influence his own decision in any way. But she had the scrap of flimsi tucked away in a pocket of her leggings. All the words she’d never been able to say to Leia in one place. And she knew Poe had his own version somewhere as well.

Rose grabbed her wrist, pulling Rey out from under Finn’s arm. “Come on, there’s only a few hours til the ceremony,” she paused, making a show of looking Rey up and down, “and we’ve got  _ a lot  _ of work to do.” 

“Hey!” 

Rose waved her off. “We’ll see you guys later,” she said, getting on her tiptoes to first kiss Finn and then Jannah full on the mouth.

Over her head, Rey’s eyes connected with Poe once more, his brows raised toward his hairline. That definitely cleared up a few questions they’d had. And left her with more than a few new ones.

But then Rose had her wrist again and was dragging her toward the turbolifts, hitting the button for the 100th floor.

They were already on one of the highest levels of the city and Rey watched as they soared higher and higher in the glass box, the view from here absolutely dizzying. At this height, they were nearly above the clouds.

The doors opened and Rose dragged her down the hall to a beautiful cream and gold door that opened onto the most lavish room Rey had ever seen. Everything in the room was done up in soft golds and creams, from the rug to the couch to the kriffing lamps on the tables. One look at a picture on the wall told her it was worth more than the entire Skywalker homestead. And the Falcon. Combined.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I had my dress brought up here,” said Rose, walking through the main room. She dropped the key next to what appeared to be a priceless vase. “Figured we could get ready together.”

“Yeah, of course,” answered Rey, still looking around in wide-eyed wonder. The apartment she’d briefly inhabited when she lived here had been lovely, especially by her standards, but it was a downright hovel compared to this place.

She followed Rose through the bedroom, noting the near-gigantic bed in the middle of the room, and into what appeared to be a room specifically for dressing. Attached to the bathroom, a massive vanity took up an entire wall, the top of which already contained every hair and makeup product known to man. Rose was nothing if not prepared. And there, on a hook in the open closet, hung a long garment bag, Rey’s fingers itching to unzip it.

“Is that?” she asked, nodding toward the hanger.

Rose smiled. “Yup.”

Her fingers shook slightly as she worked the zipper down. As much as she wished she could remain impassive about it, this was one of Leia’s dresses, specially chosen for her. One of the few things left from her mentor, her master, the woman she’d loved like a mother. So what if it was only a dress. Rey would wear it proudly to honor Leia.

The dress revealed itself in inches, a green so deep it was approaching black. The top was little more than a corset, with green mesh that would reveal the boning and her stomach underneath. The skirt was pleated, falling to the floor in a graceful arc, while a long cape covered one shoulder all the way to the ground.

It was magnificent, though far more revealing than she had been expecting. 

“Rose…”

Her friend hugged her from behind, resting her chin on Rey's shoulder. “I know, I know, it’s more skin than you normally show. But I swear it's like this dress was made for you. And I promise if you’re uncomfortable once you put it on, we’ll swap it for the back up.”

Rose wasted no time stepping into her own dress, a soft pink number with a deep V that ended just above her belly button. With the help of a giant, very hot wand, Rose wrangled her normally straight black hair into loose waves down her back.

She was so good at this, able to pivot effortlessly between the get-your-hands-dirty Resistance mechanic and the burgeoning politician that now stood before Rey, trading cover-alls and spanners for a gown and a smile. Something told her that Rose would adapt no matter the circumstances. She was a survivor. 

All too soon it was Rey’s turn, Rose’s eyes going wide when she stepped out of the bathroom in only that matching set of black lace.

“What?” asked Rey, looking down at herself. She thought she didn’t look half bad, the breastband somehow making mountains out her molehills, while the panties accentuated the curve of her ass just right. 

“So you and Poe are serious?” Rose grinned at her a little too innocently.

Rey sputtered, denials drifting to her lips. “I don’t… Whatever Finn told you…”

“Finn didn’t tell me anything, but I was with you the day you bought those. I believe your exact words were: ‘what is the point of these things if there’s no one to take them off?’” Her grin turned feral. “So who is taking them off?”

Rey’s face heated, the mirror showing pink on her cheeks. Of course Rose had to have the human equivalent of Artoo’s memory bank. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she mumbled, knowing full well Rose wouldn’t buy it.

“I’m sure you don’t.” Rose fixed her with a knowing grin. “But you’ll have to ditch the breastband, anyway. The dress has one built in. Less work for _someone_ to remove later.”

So Rey shed her top and stepped into the dress with her cheeks on fire, Rose zipping her up a second later. 

Rose had been right, the dress fit like it had been made for her, hugging her body in all the right places. She thought she’d feel exposed, but the mesh and boning provided enough coverage to make her comfortable, and there was no denying how powerful the cape made her feel as she took it for a literal spin.

Yes, this would definitely do.

With the help of what felt like 200 pins, Rose shaped her hair into a low bun, working a complicated twist into the top of it. An Alderaanian mourning braid. For Leia. 

Twenty minutes and 15 products later, Rose had defined her eyes, shaped her cheeks, even smoothed out the unevenness of her complexion while somehow keeping the freckles uncovered, finally taking a step back to admire her work.

Rose let out a low whistle. “Poe’s not gonna know what hit him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please drop me a line and let me know what you think! With the changes to AO3, I'm clamoring for any feedback.


	13. A Night in Leia's Honor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's nerves threaten to get the better of him as the party unfolds around him. That is, until Rey comes along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are heading in to the good stuff now! I had to break the chapters up a bit since they became GIANT, but we're moving along now. I hope you enjoy this little excursion into Poe's head, before we get to the fun stuff.

Poe stood with Finn just inside the Grand Ballroom, his palms sweating as more and more folks filed into the space. He tugged at the collar of his ridiculous suit. It was getting a little warm in here.

It was like the entire godsdamned galaxy had been invited to this thing. He patted the breast pocket that contained his speech, the comforting crinkle of flimsi reaching his ears over the murmur of the crowd. The thought of saying the words on that sheet in front of all these people made his heart rate ratchet up. Again.

He was good at making grand speeches in the face of certain death. But in front of a bunch of half-drunk socialites and vets? He grabbed a flute of something bubbly from one of the passing trays, downing it in one.

Finn looked at him, eyebrows raised. “Thirsty?”

Spotting another roaming waiter, he swapped his empty for a full. “You could say that.”

But Poe held on to the second glass, nursing it as they greeted visitors and dignitaries and former soldiers alike. 

Poe scanned the ballroom, finding his father rubbing elbows with some of the old guard, Lando and Wedge and Norra all crowded around him as he told a story that had them breaking into laughter a second later. And here he’d been worried Dad would feel out of place. Poe laughed. The only one out of place here was him.

Finn was chatting with a ridiculously boring representative from some Outer Rim mining association when a familiar voice froze Poe’s heart in his chest.

“Poe.”

Without her flight suit and the shock of short, platinum blonde hair, Karé Kun was nearly unrecognizable. And yet, Poe would know her anywhere. 

The hair, while still platinum, now nearly reached her shoulders, almost as if…

Almost as if she hadn’t cut it since Snap died.

“Karé,” he replied, something squeezing tight in his chest. “How are you doing?”

He’d checked in from time to time since Exegol, but what was at one time a once-a-week occurrence had slipped to every other, then once a month, and now? Well, now, to his great shame, it had been months since he’d spoken to the former leader of Stiletto Squadron.

Dressed in a long black dress that fit her slim figure like a glove, she reached for one of his hands, giving it a squeeze. “As good as can be expected, I suppose. There are good days and bad days.”

“And what’s today?”

She thought about it, a ghost of a smile playing across her lips. “Not sure. Talk to me in twenty minutes when the speeches start.”

“Karé, I want to apologize--”

She put up a hand to stop him. “It’s okay, Poe. I understand. It’s been, what? Nearly two years? The galaxy is moving on, and so should we.”

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish things had gone differently.” He needed her to understand, to know that he hadn’t forgotten about Snap.

Another ghostly smile met her lips. “I know, Poe. He knows, too. We were all willing to die for the cause; the galaxy just called Snap’s bluff.” She leaned over, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek. “Good luck up there.”

And with another half smile she was gone, leaving Poe to his own spiraling thoughts. He downed the rest of his drink.

This had been a bad idea.

Finn seemed to be thinking along the same lines. “You okay over there?”

“Yeah,” he answered, tugging again at his collar. Why he had chosen such a heavy suit for a Coruscant summer night was beyond him. “I think I just need some fresh air.”

He was about to scurry off to one of the balconies lining the space when he looked up and all the oxygen left the room.

There, on the threshold of the ballroom, stood Rey in all her glory.

She was-- there weren’t enough adjectives in Galactic Basic to describe how beautiful she looked in dark green, Poe’s brain short circuiting as he took in the dress.

Miles of her perfect, creamy skin were on display. Far more of it than he’d ever seen. And yet, it still left him wanting more.

He wanted all of her.

It was knowledge that had been pounding through his veins for weeks now, but never acknowledged. Rey had told him she wasn’t ready, and he would wait as long as it took for her to be. Even if it killed him.

And he’d welcome that death kindly if it meant he got to bask in her glow a little while longer.

She had spotted him, the soft smile on her face turning incandescent when their eyes met. Something like hope expanded in his hollow chest as she started towards them, chasing some of the heartache from his conversation with Karé away.

“Hey,” she said by way of greeting, Poe struck too dumb to do anything but stare.

Thank the Maker Finn didn’t have the same problem. “You look amazing,” he said, accepting Rey’s kiss on his cheek.

“As do you,” she replied, taking in Finn’s attire. Even Poe could admit the man looking stunning in a velvet suit of deepest red, the color playing beautifully against his dark brown skin.

At that, she turned toward Poe, an expectant look on her face.

She looked like Rey, only more, her eyes defined and drinking in the green of her dress, cheeks rosy and lips bright. He wanted to kiss whoever had decided to leave her freckles exposed. But he tamped all that down in favor of a simple and breathless, “You look stunning.”

Her smile went wide, showing every one of her teeth. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Dameron.”

Rose’s voice came from somewhere behind Rey. “Why yes, Rose, you look lovely as well. And not only did you find time to do your own hair and makeup, but Rey’s as well? Amazing!”

Poe laughed, glancing around to find Rose in a soft, pink gown that shimmered slightly in the light. He said with utmost sincerity, “You look beautiful, Rose.”

“Thank you, Poe.”

Finn stepped forward, taking Rose into his arms. “And we both know what I think of it,” he said, taking an exaggerated up and down for laughs.

Rose swatted at him playfully. “Come on, you. We need to take a lap.” She turned toward Poe and Rey. “See you at the podium in twenty?”

“We’ll be there,” answered Rey for both of them. Poe was too busy staring at the red of her lips, the jut of her collarbone through the sheer cape covering one shoulder. There were too many places to look.

All thoughts about the speech and the crowd flew out of his mind as Rey turned her gaze back to him, hazel eyes searing in their intensity. Pinning him to the spot.

And apparently, forcing confessions, “Rey, I--”

“Master Poe! It is I, C-3PO. You might not recognize me with my upgraded plating.”

Poe ground his teeth together, falling somewhere between relief and annoyance. Though, he had to say, Threepio did look great. Not a scratch on him. 

“And Mistress Rey! How lucky to find you two together once more. I see you are wearing one of General Organa’s dresses. Have you taken in the exhibit yet?”

Rey’s eyes flitted to Poe once in apology before turning her attention fully to Threepio. “Exhibit?”

“Why yes, the committee put together a stunning display of Mistress Leia’s dresses throughout the years. They are something of historic value now that the last princess of Alderaan is gone.”

His words hit Poe directly in the chest. 

Even Rey seemed affected, swallowing thickly before she said, “Lead the way.”

In a strangely uncharacteristic move, Threepio offered his elbow to Rey. She looped her real one through his metal, allowing herself to be lead to an antechamber as Poe followed a step behind.

Naturally, Threepio did not shut up. “Did you know that General Organa retained a wardrobe of over 100 custom dresses from both of her mothers? So as you can see, there are both Naboo and Alderaanian styles at play here. The traditional dress of the…”

Poe tuned him out as they walked from display to display, the little placards next to each outfit wholly useless with Threepio leading the tour. Though Rey seemed to be hanging on his every word, nodding and looking at each dress with a critical eye. There were some Poe certainly recognized, like the belted number she wore when at the medal ceremony after Yavin and the dress she’d worn on a mission to Cato Neimoidia. Hells, he recognized quite a few of these from the trip to Cato Neimoidia. And there was the all white number she wore in the holo sent to plead for Obi-Wan Kenobi’s help. The entire galaxy had seen that one at one point or another.

They paused in front of a stunning black gown, complete with cape.

“Senator Organa wore this gown to a party shortly after the news of her true parentage broke.”

Rey had gone eerily still in front of him.

Poe cocked his head. “But that looks like…”

“Yes, indeed. I believe it was chosen specifically to invoke her father. It created quite the scandal, but the Senator was never one to back down from a challenge.”

Not sensing the change in Rey, Threepio continued on to the next dress and the next, his monologue never ceasing.

Finally, Rey stopped at a green dress, which according to the placard was a replica of the one currently worn by REY SKYWALKER for the evening. 

“It looks better on you,” he said over her shoulder, earning a whack on the arm. 

“I’d hope it looks better than on that cheap mannequin,” she added, though he could tell she was pleased with the compliment.

“Master Poe, I had not realized you were still with us. Shall I go over the dresses again?”

Poe tried not to smirk. “No, I think I caught everything.”

“Very well. Next we have- well, this isn’t a dress at all.”

He was right, the next mannequin contained not one of the lavish dresses of the Organas or Naberries, but the olive jumpsuit and dark vest that Leia favored most days on base. Now, this was the woman he knew.

It seemed like Rey had a similar reaction, pressing her fingers against the glass as if she could almost touch her former master.

Poe swore he could feel the emotion rise in her, taste her sadness on his tongue. Without looking, he knew that when she turned around, there would be tears in those bright hazel eyes. 

Poe touched her bare shoulder. “Rey?”

“Mistress Rey, I believe it is nearly time for your speech.”

Poe slapped a fake smile on his face. “We’ll be right there, Threepio.”

“But Master Poe, you need to--”

“We’ll be right there,” he said a little more forcefully, Threepio taking the hint for once.

“Right. I’ll just…” He made for the main room with that strange little shuffle-walk he did.

Once the droid was out of earshot, Poe turned to Rey. “Hey, everything ok?”

She looked up at him, and sure enough silver lined those pretty eyes, threatening to spill over as she nodded at him. “Yeah. I just… miss her.”

“Me too,” he said, pulling her close at the risk of wrinkling her gown. He knew she wouldn’t mind. “Me too.”

The promise he’d made her last night thrummed through his veins with every beat of his heart. But now was not the time. He knew that, even as gazed at her face, no less lovely for the sadness displayed there.

She looked up, catching him in the act. But her gaze held steady under his, no fear in her eyes when they connected with his own. 

“We should probably head in. They’ll be waiting for us,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Let ‘em wait. We  _ are _ the guests of honor so to speak. They can’t start without us.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze.

In that moment, her answering smile felt like more of a victory than Exegol.

“I think I’m ready to get this over with.”

He could second that.

Reluctantly, he removed his arm from her shoulders, only to offer her the crook of his elbow like in those old holo-movies his dad loved. Couldn't let Threepio outdo him in chivalry, now could he?

And so they walked back into the memorial arm-in-arm, the cosy position not going unnoticed by their friends.

Rose was on them like a Corellian hound.

“There you two are! We’ve been looking-” her words dropped off abruptly as she finally noticed their proximity. A slow smile spread across her face. “I’ll allow it,” she decided, rather judiciously. “But we need you on stage, now.”

He led Rey toward the little stage and podium that had been set up, palms starting to sweat once more. Rey patted his forearm, and he realized that his hands had started to shake. Again.

Somehow Rey was steady as ever as they ascended the three steps to the stage.

“How are you so calm right now,” he whispered, turning them to face the crowd. There had to be 2,000 eyes on them. Of all people, the woman who had barely met twenty people before her twentieth birthday should have been nervous.

But she simply gave his forearm another pat. “It’s not about me.” She shrugged, looking out at the assembled crowd. “And for Leia, I can do this.”

This woman never ceased to amaze.

Rose was already at the podium, her words barely registering as Poe continued to hold Rey’s gaze. Distantly, he registered the flash of a camera.

“General Poe Dameron, Leia’s right hand and successor, would like to say a few words.”

Rey’s hand slid down his arm to give his hand a squeeze. “You’ve got this.”

With a nod, he headed for the podium, repeating those sage words over and over:  _ For Leia, I can do this; for Leia, I can do this. _

His hands shook as he unfolded the flimsi, the words blurring in front of his eyes. Oh, kriff. 

Squinting into the lights, he addressed the crowd. “Just let me...”

He patted his breast pocket, finding what he needed tucked away. Without thinking too hard about it, he unfolded the glasses, holding them up for the assembly to see. 

“I would make a joke about getting old,” he said, settling the glasses on his face, “but as all of us gathered here to today know, that’s a privilege not everyone gets.” 

He took a deep breath, looking down at the words he’d written days ago. Every last one of them felt wrong now.

_ For Leia, I can do this. _

So he looked up, and spoke from the heart. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! 
> 
> Drop me a line (or an emoji or a single exclamation mark) and let me know what you think!


	14. A Night to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big night on Coruscant unfolds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who is still reading this! I promise your patience is rewarded soon (aka next chapter). But for now, I hope you enjoy the speeches and the feelings and the dancing.

“Princess. Senator. General,” Poe started, quoting the banners hung around the space. Rey could feel his nerves, but his voice was steady, strong as he spoke. “Leia was all those things and so much more. She was a mother. She was a master,” he turned to give Rey a smile over his shoulder and she gave him one in return. “She was a friend. But probably most important of all, she was the canary in the coalmine for this war.”

Rey tried to hide her shock at the words that poured out of him. This was nothing like the speech he’d spent damn near a week practicing. It was so much better.

“Leia alone saw what was coming. She lead us fearlessly, even before we were ready to follow. Every time we got knocked down, she picked us back up again. And despite all of the opposition and the terrible odds - which I’m sure her faithful droid, C-3PO, would be happy to tell you - she always had hope. Hope that we weren’t doomed to repeat our forefather’s mistakes. Hope that we could win this war like we won the last. Hope that she would be around to see it.

“As we all know, that last hope never came to fruition. It’s why we’re here today, to honor that sacrifice. But we can still make sure the first one does. I know that if Leia were here, she’d urge everyone in this room to learn from their mistakes. To ensure that hope for a better tomorrow lives on. And above all, to not only pass that hope on to our children, but to make the galaxy better for them.”

It was a lot shorter than his original speech, but far more effective. The applause was positively thunderous as Poe finished, and Rey noticed more than one person wiping their eyes in the crowd. Rey herself swallowed thickly, suddenly finding her throat a little scratchier than it had been a few minutes ago.

Maybe she should have taken Rose’s offer to go first. Poe was a tough act to follow.

But there was no time for her to worry about that now, not when Rose was already coming forward to introduce her.

“Thank you, Poe,” said Rose, a look that conveyed the proper gravity of the situation on her face. She was so good at this. Rey couldn’t believe she hadn’t seen it earlier. “And now, it is my pleasure to introduce Leia’s apprentice, Rey Skywalker.”

Whispers broke out across the floor as Rey stepped up to the podium, but she paid them no mind. The use of her new name had been an intentional choice, tying in to a significant part of her speech.

Rey took a deep breath, willing her heart to slow down.

It was now or never. She started speaking before she lost her nerve.

“As Rose so kindly introduced, my name is Rey Skywalker. Yes, Skywalker. It’s a relatively new addition to my name. One I chose to honor both of my masters.

“You see, though I call her my master, Leia was the closest thing I had to a mother in my first twenty years. As such, until recently, I had no family name. Rey Nobody. Rey of Jakku. And when I went searching for that family, I found a little more than I’d bargained for.”

Behind her, she could feel Poe freeze up, knowing exactly what she was about to confess to the who’s who of the galaxy. She took a deep breath, remembering that jet black gown in the case.  _ For Leia, I can do this _ .

“My real name, the one I was born with, is Rey Palpatine.” She paused for the gasps and whispered conversation. It was expected, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. “And just like that, I had something else in common with my master.

“Turned out, we both came from rather ignoble backgrounds. And now the daughter of Vader was training the granddaughter of Palpatine. 

“From the first moment she met me, she knew who I was. Where I came from. And she still trained me. She trained me to be smart and compassionate. She trained me to be patient and kind. And she trained me to be strong. All of the things she herself was. And that turned out to be the most important lesson of all.

“Because above all, she taught me that it doesn’t matter where you come from. What matters is what you do with what you’ve been given. 

“Leia took that temper she’d inherited and used it to be a voice of justice for the galaxy. A rallying cry for the underserved and underrepresented. She fought an entire empire and won. And when the time came to battle the rising threat of the First Order, she once again led the charge. It didn’t matter that no one believed her or that the odds were stacked against us, Leia never stopped fighting. 

“She gave her entire life to this fight. And I sincerely hope that none of us will have to do the same. But I also know that if that day comes, Rey Skywalker will be there. Because that’s what we do in my family, the family I fought for, the family I chose for myself. We answer that call.”

Rey wasn’t expecting much applause at the end of her speech, so she certainly wasn’t prepared for the near deafening ovation she received. A little louder than Poe’s. Not that she was keeping score.

She fell back, giving the podium back to Rose.

“Thank you Rey for that lovely speech. And on that note, I’m happy to announce that the Organa Memorial Senate Complex will officially find its home on Yavin 4.” A hologram sprang to life in front of them, a giant mock up of the new senate building. And in the front, a statue of Leia 10 feet tall, not in one of the many gowns the galaxy liked to remember her for, but the simple jumpsuit and vest she liked best.

Poe put an arm around her shoulders, leaning close. “Damn, Rey, that was…”

“Ill-advised? Monumentally stupid?” she laughed, trying to make a joke to distract from the strange aching in her chest. Like she’d been scraped out and laid bare in front of the entire galaxy.

“Brave. That was incredibly brave.”

When she turned to look at him, she found herself once again caught in that searing gaze. The one that left her black lace underthings a little damp to the touch.

“Kriff, Rey, that was amazing,” said Rose, pulling her out from Poe’s arm and into another crushing hug. “You too, Poe. Come on, we need to mingle before dinner.”

Poe groaned, but they both followed Rose off the stage and into the party, the crowd swallowing them almost instantly.

While there were a few people eying her nervously and keeping their distance - as to be expected with an announcement of that magnitude - the vast majority lined up to tell her how brave she was and that they always knew that it didn’t matter where you came from. Rey tried not to roll her eyes. These were probably the same people who shamed Leia all those years ago. 

When the representative from Bonadan finally ran out of ways to praise their speeches, he gave way to a beautiful but unfamiliar woman. Next to her, Poe stiffened.

Dark hair fell in soft waves to the mystery woman’s shoulders and bright green eyes peeked out of kohl-rimmed lids. She was lovely, but no prettier than any of the other women they’d spoken to so far. Rey couldn’t place Poe’s reaction to her.

Then she spoke.

“That was some speech, Jedi. I knew I liked you.”

That voice. There was something strangely familiar about it. Rey squinted, taking in the woman’s deep purple gown and golden accents around her neck and wrists when something clicked. “Zorii?”

“You’re good,” she said, a sly grin on her face. “Wasn’t sure you’d recognize me without the helmet. Either of you.”

“It’s been a long time,” answered Poe. 

“Wobani, if I remember correctly. When we got stuck on that freighter and you-”

“Okay, that’s enough, I remember,” he interrupted, his eyes darting briefly to Rey. 

Zorii’s eyes moved from one to the other, comprehension dawning on her face. “Oh, you two are cute together.”

“We’re not-” sputtered Rey. “We’re just-” 

But her denials only made Zorii smile wider.

Poe took a deep breath, putting Rey out of her misery. “So how are things going?”

Zorii seemed unperturbed by the change in topic. “It’s strange going legit, I won’t lie, but I think the Crew is handling it well. But I can’t deny how much fun it is to run down the remnants of the First Order.”

“You’re working for the Republic?” Rey found herself asking, unable to keep the shock from her voice.

“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Zorii laughed at her own joke.”But yeah, they offered the Crew and I an opportunity to work off some debts we owed to society and we took it.” She looked over her shoulder. “And it looks like I’m monopolizing your time. It was good seeing you, Rey.” She turned those kohl-rimmed eyes toward Poe. “Save a dance for me, flyboy.”

They were left in stunned silence as the next person came forward, Rose rescuing them a second later for dinner.

Dinner was quite the affair, six courses spread over three hours, that sparkling wine everyone seemed to love flowing nonstop. While Rey assumed they would be split up among the tables to rub elbows with the galaxy’s elite, Rose had seated the entire crew together. Laughter and stories flowed as freely as the wine, Rey snorting into her glass on more than one occasion as Finn or Poe or Rose recounted some mishap.

The bubbles in the wine seemed to go right to her head, her veins fizzing with it. The entire night started to take on that rosy glow, surrounded as she was by people who knew her. People who loved her and she loved in return.

All too soon, the meal had ended, Rose scurrying off to get the band settled while Jannah and Beau ended up in deep conversation with a former Senator at the next table. Rey patted her nearly bare stomach, stuffed to the gills after finishing her dessert (and most of Poe’s), a chocolate concoction so rich it gave her a headache.

She looked over at Poe, the wine leaving his eyes bright and his smile a little loose and sloppy. With far too great an interest, she watched his tongue dart out and wet his bottom lip, her eyes locked on the motion.

The band chose that moment to strike up in earnest, a lively tune nothing like the music she was used to. This was refined, elegant, and the dancing seemed to match. People were paired off, the couples spinning and twirling in time to the music.

Kes and a friend approached, the friend striking up a conversation with Poe about the merits of an X-wing versus an A-wing, while Kes extended a hand toward Rey. 

“May I have this dance, mija?”

Rey smiled, gratefully accepting his hand and the offer. Kes led her to the floor, immediately rearranging her hands so they matched the rest of the couples.

And then they were dancing, Rey trying to copy the steps as best she could. Of course Kes was a lovely dancer, she hadn’t expected anything less from the man who taught Poe all he knew. He had her twirling in no time.

“What does that mean? Mija?” she asked when she had finally gotten the hang of it. “You call me that all the time.”

He smiled at her. “It means, my daughter.”

Rey wasn’t sure what to say to that. Especially when she found herself suddenly choked up. “But, I’m not-”

“It’s been a long while since I’ve seen my son look at anybody the way he looks at you. Give him some time to let his brain catch up to his heart.”

Rey looked down, her cheeks aflame. “Thank you, Kes.”

“Anytime, mija. Anytime.”

They passed the rest of the song in silence, easily segueing into the next. 

About halfway through that number, Kes turned at a tap on his shoulder to reveal Finn smiling expectantly at the two of them.

“May I cut in?” he asked, grinning wide. 

Kes slapped him on the back. “Of course. I’ll leave the dancing to the youth.” With a wave and a smile, he was gone.

Finn stepped into his place, face wrinkling in confusion for a split second as they took their first steps. It was back to his usual grin so quickly Rey wondered if she’d imagined it.

As Finn spun her around, she caught sight of Poe a few feet away, the one and only Zorii Bliss in his arms. 

An emotion she’d rather not name rumbled through her at the sight of him moving with Zorii, even if they stood far enough apart to let another person between them. Finn spun her around, following where her gaze was stuck.

He laughed. “Uh oh, looks like someone is jealous.”

“He looks nothing of the sort.”

Finn leaned in, whispering the next words into her ear. “I wasn’t talking about Poe this time.”

“I’m not-” she stammered, offended at the mere idea of it. “Jealous? There’s-”

“You are. And it’s okay,” he said as the song ended. “But you should definitely ask him to dance before someone else does.”

“But what about you?”

Finn smiled and nodded over to where Jannah and Rose danced a few feet away. “Don’t worry about me, my dance card’s full.”

“We are going to talk about that at some point, aren’t we?” Rey smirked. 

Finn smirked right back. “Yeah, when you admit that you and Poe are more than just friends.”

Rey rolled her eyes and plucked her courage, giving Finn one final look over her shoulder before stalking off toward Poe.

Zorii was nowhere in sight as she approached, Rey tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention.

He turned and a smile spread across his face when he saw it was her, heat blooming in her core at the hungry way his eyes took her in. For a second, she forgot why she was there, too caught up in that devouring gaze. 

As the silence stretched, she finally remembered herself enough to ask, “May I have this dance?” 

“I would be honored,” he answered with a slight bow of his head.

This time it felt different when she faced her partner, an obvious spark between them that wasn’t there with Kes or Finn. When Poe’s hand settled on her all but naked waist, it was like a bolt of electricity shooting through her straight to her core. 

They started to move and the rest of the galaxy fell away.

It was like flying. Or maybe falling. Or some combination of the two. Whatever it was, Rey knew she never wanted this to end.

For a second, Poe’s expression wrinkled in much the same way as Finn’s had earlier, Rey unable to stop the question from springing to her lips.

“What?”

He looked sheepish for a moment. “Uh, not a big deal, but I’m just used to leading.”

“I’m leading?” Shame heated her cheeks, as she looked down at her two left feet. Surely, Zorii was perfectly capable of letting him lead. “How do I… not?”

“Hey, look at me,” he said, bringing her chin up so they were eye to eye again. “I’m happy to follow wherever you lead. Even on the dance floor.”

Rey let a smile cross her face as one song ended and the next began. Soft strains reached her ears and she realized with a jolt how much slower this song was, how much closer the couples around them were dancing now. 

Poe seemed to notice at the exact same time. 

His hand slid to the small of her back, bringing her so close they were practically chest to chest. Their other hands tucked between their bodies, Rey’s palm on Poe’s chest with his hand on top. Poe’s face grew closer, so close she thought that he might finally kiss her, her heart dropping when he simply brought them cheek to cheek.

Even without the kiss, Rey could feel her heart pounding against both her chest and Poe’s. Especially when Poe’s lips found her ear to whisper, “When I kiss you, I don’t want an audience. I plan on taking my time with you.”

Rey’s eyes fell closed at the promise in those words. Between last night and tonight, the anticipation would surely kill her long before she ever got that kiss.

The short beard felt rough against her cheek, but she didn’t dare pull away as they swayed in time to the music. 

Despite the sheer amount of skin left exposed to the air by her dress, she felt positively feverish, her skin flushed and hot to the touch. Desire crackled along all of her veins, sending sparks across her muscles and flames to her very core. She’d thought she wanted him before, but that was a mere shadow of the need she felt now in his arms.

The song ended, and the band announced a break, and still he held her close.

“Poe?” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“The song ended.”

“I know.”

“The band is on a break.”

This time she could hear the smile in his voice. “I know.”

“People are starting to stare.”

“Let them.”

She laughed, burying her face in his shoulder for a second before stepping out of his arms. Not letting go of his hand, she tugged him toward the doors lining the room. “Come on, let’s get some air.”

Coming out of his trance, Poe offered her his elbow, leading them both to one of the balconies overlooking the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who continues to write me such lovely comments on this. I'm not normally one to beg for feedback, but the changes to AO3 are killing my hits, so your lovely words let me know that folks are still reading this! 
> 
> Hmmm I wonder what these two get up to on a balcony completely alone....


	15. A Kiss and Then Some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just say that this is the chapter most of you have been waiting for.
> 
> Warnings: Rey talks about her death in pretty frank terms. And the second half of this (gigantic) chapter is all smut, so if that is not your thing, quit when they get into the elevator. There's also a spot of angst and (I hope) an endearing level of awkward, so I really hope you enjoy.

The fresh air hit her like a slap to the face, clearing that haze of desire that had come over her on the dance floor. Poe took a deep breath next to her.

They were completely alone out here, no one else availing themselves of the fresh air or breathtaking views.

Say what you wanted about Coruscant, but no one could deny it was beautiful at night. Twinkling lights stretched as far as the eye could see like captured starlight, winking in and out with the flow of traffic below. Up here, even the air was clear. You could almost forget how horrific the lower levels were with this view. Almost.

“I miss the stars,” sighed Poe, leaning his elbows on the rail. 

Rey looked up, finding the night sky blank, an ever present glow blocking out the stars. “Me too.”

Inside, the music started back up again, the party going on without them.

Poe gave a glance over his shoulder. “You think they’re missing us?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they were pressed against the glass right now.” She debated a second before going on. “You know, Finn said he could see it on us,” she offered with a smirk. “In the Force.”

Poe burst out laughing. “Forgive me if I take Finn’s Jedi hunches with a grain of salt. The man was sure you died on Exegol and look how that turned out.” He smiled, expecting her to join in.

Rey froze, the smile dying on her lips. Her heart hammered against her chest so hard, she was certain Poe could see it through the mesh on her dress. There it was, the truth she’d been avoiding all along, spelled out plain as day.

Poe hesitated, seeing something on her face. “Rey? What’s wrong?”

“I died,” she blurted, the first time she’d said the words aloud. Already she felt lighter, the burden of that knowledge disappearing into the night. “Finn was right, I did die on Exegol.” 

Poe’s face twisted in barely contained horror. “But, you’re here. You’re alive,” he sputtered, trying to grasp on to any bit of comfort. “That’s impossible.”

So she started at the beginning.

“On Exegol my…” The word “grandfather” stuck in her throat. “...Palpatine killed Ben, or so I thought, and I was halfway there when I finally heard them. All the Jedi who had come before. A thousand generations. With their help, I rose and faced Palpatine on my own. It took every last ounce of strength I had, but I killed him. I fought, and I won. And then I died.”

Now that she had started, she couldn’t stop. Distantly, she registered the horror on Poe’s face, the quivering of his lip, the white of his knuckles on the railing, 

“When we die, the Jedi are supposed to join the living Force. Become one with it. But when I died,” she said, registering in the back of her mind that she was crying, “there was nothing. No light, no peace, no thousand generations, just neverending blackness. That’s what I dream about, why I wake screaming. That suffocating dark.”

Some buried knowledge tickled at her consciousness, but Rey pushed it back down.

“But, you’re here,” he repeated, as if he needed to say it out loud to make it come true. “You’re alive. Are you sure you just weren’t knocked out? I’ve gotten my bell rung on more than one occasion, and it sure as hell feels like death when you wake up.”

“I felt my heart stop, the breath leave my lungs.”

“How long?” he asked, his voice cracking. Poe swallowed thickly, pausing to clear his throat. “How long were you…”

Rey supplied the final word. “Dead? It could have been minutes or hours. However long it took Ben to climb out of the pit and find me.”

“Ren found you?”

Rey didn’t miss the note of doubt in his voice. “Yeah. He…” she trailed off, trying to figure out the best way to put it. “Do you remember what I did to that serpent on Pasaana?”

“Yeah,” said Poe, sounding sceptical.

“That’s what he did for me on Exegol. Only, to bring me back from that darkness, he needed to exchange what little remained of his own life.” Rey paused, debating whether to take that final step, to confess everything to him. In the end, she knew he deserved the truth, no matter what it did to this thing between them. “And in that moment, I was so grateful to be free from that hellscape that I kissed him.”

Poe’s entire face seemed to crumple in disbelief. He turned from her, his chest heaving, breaths coming fast and furious.

“I knew it was a mistake as soon as I did it. I mean, he spent the better part of a year stalking me. He tortured me for kriff’s sake.” Shame coursed through her. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Poe turned toward her, eyes narrowed. “You think this is about you kissing him? For Force’s sake, I thought you knew me better than that.”

Rey stared at him in confusion. “Then what are you mad about?”

“I just wanted to hate him in peace.”

Rey blinked at him.

With a sigh, he went on. “He tortured me, he tortured you, he nearly killed Finn with that shitty lightsaber of his. Not to mention the way he decimated all of us on Crait. After everything, I was just glad he was gone. But now…”

“Now what?”

“Now, every time I hold you in my arms, every time I kiss you, I’ll do it knowing that the only reason you’re here is that shitstain. And I’ll have to be grateful to Ben fucking Solo because no matter what else he did to me, he saved the woman I loved.”

Most of his words floated right past her, save a couple of the important ones. Rey took a step toward him. “You love me?” She didn’t bother to keep the wonder out of her voice.

Poe shook his head, a faint, lopsided smile playing at his lips. “Of course, I make a whole big speech and that’s all you hear.”

“It was kind of important.” She took another step forward.

“Rey, I’ve loved you from the moment you pulled that lightsaber on me in the kitchen. I thought it was obvious.”

Rey couldn’t stop the laugh that burbled up. “That’s a very strange thing to fall in love with.”

“What can I say, the heart wants what the heart wants.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, Poe’s hands finding her waist. 

And as she looked into his warm eyes, it hit her. She loved him, too. And had for a long while. Maybe not as far back as that first night in the kitchen, but for a lot longer than she’d realized. 

So it was with a certainty she rarely felt in life that she uttered those words for the very first time out loud. “I love you, too.”

Poe smiled, his eyes crinkling in that adorable way she liked. No, that adorable way she  _ loved _ . But still, he made no move to further close the distance between them.

That needed to change. Immediately.

“We’re alone,” she pointed out.

Poe nodded. “Yeah.”

“No fathers.”

“Nope.”

“No droids.”

“None.”

“No best friends.”

“Not at the moment.”

“So when are you going to kiss me?”

Poe beamed at her, that tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

And then he was kissing her.

From the moment their lips touched, it felt like the world was set aflame. Heat bloomed across her skin. A wildfire ripped through her chest. Flames erupted everywhere they met. Too long had they denied that spark, and now the blaze threatened to consume them both.

With a groan, lips parted and Poe’s tongue slid against her own, Rey pressing her body more fully into him. She could feel his hardness crushed against her hip. He tasted like chocolate.

She was dizzy when he finally pulled back, both of them panting for breath.

“Fuck,” she gasped as he pressed featherlight kisses along her jaw, his hands trailing heat across her back.

He laughed, his breath warm against the skin of her neck. “I know.” For emphasis, he pressed a kiss into the column of her throat.

“I want you.” The words were out before she could stop herself. And they were 100% true.

Poe froze, dragging himself away from her collarbones. “Right here?”

Rey laughed. “Well, I’d prefer a bed, but I’m not all that picky right about now.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, bringing one hand up to cup her cheek. His thumb strummed absently against her skin.

Rey nodded, her answering “yes” barely more than a breath.

But that was more than enough for Poe, who grabbed her hand and led her back into the ballroom. The band was playing something upbeat as they crept along the fringes of the room, desperately trying to avoid the notice of their friends and family. Mercifully, no one stopped them, and they found themselves in the lobby a second later.

Poe hit the button for the turbolift and pulled her into a searing kiss, the cheerful ding of its arrival only pulling them apart long enough to get inside.

Before the doors had even closed, he had her pressed against the glass walls, the skirt of her dress hitching up her thighs. Anyone who looked up would be able to see them, and the thought made Rey wetter than she cared to admit.

All too soon the doors were opening on her floor, and they stumbled from the turbolift without parting, Poe’s mouth buried in her neck. 

There would be marks tomorrow, that much was sure, though whether they be from the rough scratch of his new beard or the sucking little kisses he kept applying to her neck was anybody’s guess.

With Rey’s panted instructions, they somehow found her room, Poe’s eyes going wide when she dug the key out of the cups of her dress.

“What?” she asked, a smirk on her face. “There are no pockets.”

The room admitted them with a swipe of the keycard and Rey had enough wherewithal to drop it on the table before Poe consumed her once more.

Poe’s mouth found hers again as they stumbled into the bedroom, tongues tangling in near desperation.

There were too many layers between them. She needed to feel that golden skin under her fingers.

Without any preamble, she shucked the jacket from his body, nimble fingers moving on to the buttons of his shirt before the coat even hit the floor. The shirt followed mere seconds later.

_ Finally _ , she thought as her calloused hands scraped over the smooth planes of his chest, carefully avoiding the ring around his neck.

The ring was his mother’s, she knew that much from his stories about her, but he’d always been reluctant to say much more than that. It went without saying that it meant a lot to him. He never took it off. And Rey, though curious, had never pried any further.

But seeing as they were about to do, well  _ this _ , Rey let her fingers brush the metal.

When he didn’t stop her, she picked it up, letting the ring rest on her palm. It was warm to the touch, lighter than she’d been expecting. Poe reached up, curling her palm around the ring before brushing his lips over the knuckles. 

She let the ring fall, capturing Poe’s lips with her own once more. Her hands quested lower, unbuttoning his pants and letting them fall to the floor. When her fingers found the band of his underwear, he stepped back.

“My turn now,” he said at her protest. “It’s only fair.”

Rey bit her lip at the heat in his eyes, watching as he looked her up and down. One finger traced over the cups of her dress, then across her collarbones and over one shoulder to her shoulder blades, finally inching down her spine to the top of the zipper.

Poe pressed a kiss to the top of her shoulder as he slid the zipper down. 

The dress puddled on the floor.

Still behind her, he ghosted his hands over the now bare skin of her back, pausing at the barrier of black lace.

His voice was a growl in her ear. “Can I look at you?”

No one had ever seen her naked. At least, no living being. BB-8 had ambushed her once, but he decidedly did not count in that respect. 

And still, Rey didn’t hesitate to turn and face Poe. More than anyone in her life, she trusted him. Even with her body. Maybe especially so.

His reaction did not disappoint.

Even from two steps away, she heard his breath hitch, a soft gasp that she felt directly between her legs. His eyes took her in hungrily, pupils blown wide. And once again that tongue darted out, only this time he bit down on that bottom lip while he took her in.

When he spoke, she would have sworn his voice was lower, rougher. Each word scraped over her skin. “Can I touch you?”

The smile spread slowly across Rey’s face.

“I’d be mad if you didn’t.”

Poe’s hands were on her immediately, skimming over the expanse of exposed skin with a reverence Rey hadn’t known he was capable of. He traced the lines of her body, each pass leaving gooseflesh in its wake. Down her stomach. Up one side. Across the gentle swells of her breasts.

When the rough pad of his thumb scraped against one nipple, a shiver went through her, Poe smiling at the response. 

“Can I put my mouth on you?” he asked, just shy of begging. 

Though that sounded like heaven itself, something told her that this would be better the longer she dragged this part out. So she found herself asking, “Where?”

“Here,” he answered, running his thumb over one nipple. He paused before tracing a path to the other. “And here.”

At her yes, he dropped his head, taking one nipple into that clever, clever mouth. It was just as good at this as it was at making her laugh or calming her down. She could now add making her moan to that list of talents.

Once he had sufficiently attended to the first, he moved on to the second, dropping little kisses along the way. Tongue swirled and teeth scraped, Rey’s body responding in kind. Already she ached and throbbed for him, the feeling growing with each passing moment.

He looked up at her. “And here?” he asked, tracing a path down her stomach to the top of her panties.

“Yes.” 

Poe’s mouth trailed down her stomach until he was kneeling before her, nose brushing on the upper bound of her underthings.

This time when he looked up, his eyes were so dark they looked black, his hands balanced on either side of her hips.

Slowly, carefully, he brought one finger to her core, just barely touching the lace covering. “And here?”

“Yes.” This time her voice was barely more than a whisper scraping against her throat.

Poe went to work immediately, nosing his way down, mouthing at her through the fabric. It was close, but not nearly close enough. She needed more. She needed him against her bare skin.

“Take them off,” she said, fulfilling Rose’s prophecy once and for all. And Rey stood by her earlier assessment. There was no point to that scrap of lace unless someone was planning to remove it.

Poe grinned up at her, all too happy to oblige.

The panties were soaked when they hit the floor a second later, Rey too turned on to be embarrassed.

With his hands still gripped on either side of her hips, those kisses quested lower and lower...

“I’ve never done this before,” she blurted right before he reached her cunt. Rey could have kicked herself when his mouth left her a second later, Poe carefully looking up at her from his knees.

He gestured toward her waiting cunt. “Like this specifically?”

“Any of it.” 

“We can stop,” he said, his thumbs rubbing soft circles on her thighs. “Or try something different.”

“No!” she practically shouted, earning a soft smile from Poe. “I mean, I want this. With you. I want you. I just… thought you should know.”

His smile went wide. “Then we should do this right.” 

Without warning, he got to his feet, scooping her up in a fluid motion. Rey laughed as he marched her to the bed, setting her down on the mattress like she was the most precious thing in the known universe. 

His eyes were soft and crinkly as he surveyed her from above, biting down on that bottom lip. “Goddamn. I am the luckiest bastard in the galaxy.”

Rey rolled her eyes, but pulled him down for a kiss, those lips just as plush and warm as she remembered. 

One of his hands dipped between them to pet fondly at her entrance, Rey finding out a second later that she’d been right. His fingers  _ were _ thicker.

Then he was making his way back down her body and finally,  _ finally _ putting his mouth where she needed him most. 

She’d been hot and bothered for hours now, probably thanks to the way Poe wore the hell out of that suit, so as soon as that talented mouth hit her cunt, Rey gasped, already starting to feel that sweet, sweet tension build. He started out simple, just a soft, sucking kiss to her clit to let her get the feel for it. Soon, he’d added his tongue to the mix, flicking and circling while Rey writhed and moaned beneath him. Next, came a finger, buried to the knuckle. Then a second. She was already on the edge, so there was no stopping her from tumbling over a second later when he crooked those fingers inside her.

She came with a sharp breath, the whole world exploding in starlight when she found her release.

Her muscles continued to twitch as Poe’s mouth worked her through it, the months and months of buildup leaving her little more than puddle on the mattress.

Distantly, she registered the scratch of Poe’s beard as he kissed her inner thigh and the dip of the mattress as he joined her at the top of the bed, but she really didn’t come back down to the planet until he smoothed back a sweaty tendril that had come loose from her bun and asked, “Good?”

She laughed. “So good.”

Poe surged forward to kiss her.

Rey let her hands quest lower as his tongue slid against hers, palming his cock through the thin fabric of his fitted undershorts. This hard, he was more than enough to fill her hand, his hips stuttering at the attention.

It seemed she was on to something based off the way their kiss became a breathy moan, so she redoubled her efforts, smiling as she watched Poe’s face scrunch and relax from her ministrations.

Quickly, she realized it wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

“Poe,” she said, waiting until she had his full attention before making her request. “I want you.”

He blinked, his eyes finally focusing on her. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” It was the easiest answer she’d ever given. There was no doubt in her mind.

Without any unnecessary fanfare, Poe’s underwear hit the ground. Then there was some shuffling of arms and legs and bodies so that Rey was on her back, hips supported by one of the ten thousand pillows on the giant bed, with Poe hovering over her. There was a quick check that everyone was clean and up to date on their implants (yes, and yes) before Poe took himself in hand and lined up at her entrance.

He hesitated a second. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

He took a deep breath. “I’m gonna go slow.”

“I know.”

One hand worried at her hipbone. “And if at any point you want to stop, just say the word.”

“Poe?”

He blinked at her. “Yeah?”

“You’re stalling.” He blinked at her. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I am, aren’t I?” Poe laughed, ducking his head for a moment. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “And I’ve never been more ready in my life.”

“Ok then,” she said, making a gesture that said “get on with it.”

The sound of his chuckle warmed her. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”

“Once or twice.”

“Good,” he said, lining himself up again.

Another deep breath and he pushed inside, slow as promised, his face screwed up in concentration.

It was… not wholly comfortable, but not uncomfortable either. Different, that was the word Rey decided on as Poe stilled fully inside her, dropping kisses on her cheeks, chin, collarbones, any place he could reach.

Once she’d gotten used to the feeling of fullness, she brought one hand up to stroke his cheek, the rasp audible against her hand. “Okay.”

Pressing a single kiss to her lips, he started to move. 

It took her a couple of strokes to get used to the friction of it, her body trying to make sense of all the feelings. And there were a lot, from the steady movement of his hips to the feel of his back muscles shifting under her fingertips. But still, something was missing.

She figured it out a second later when he brought one hand between them to strum at her clit, her hips jerking up to meet him. 

_ Oh. _

There was that tension, the feeling she constantly chased with her own fingers (and now, Poe’s). So the next time he surged forward, she met him halfway there, that ache in her core growing deeper with each passing second.

And just like that, they had a rhythm, her hips meeting him thrust for thrust. Little helpless noises fell from her lips, pants and moans and sighs mixing with the sharp slap of skin. A fine sheen of sweat broke out across her skin, the heat rising with each stroke.

They were building to a grand finale, Rey could feel it starting in her toes, working its way up her body straight to her core. She wanted it to last, to grab on to that feeling forever, but there was no stopping it. Holding on for dear life, her nails scratched against his back as the world exploded into starlight once more, only distantly aware of Poe finishing a few seconds later when he hit the mattress next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slow burn over.
> 
> Funny story, I wrote that "grateful" line back about the TROS kiss in January. It was one of the first things I wrote for this story, and strangely enough, it turned out to be true.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Your overwhelming number of comments on this has been absolutely amazing in light of the AO3 changes, so please keep letting me know what you think! Five more chapters to go!


	16. A Quiet Evening in Bed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey get to know each other even better as they spend the night in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just pure fluffy goodness. With the tiniest bit of angst. So Flangst-lite.
> 
> Also, at the very end there is the tiniest bit of naughty language and then a fade to black, heavily insinuated scene, but other than that this is a pretty tame chapter. Hope you enjoy!

As soon as he hit the mattress, Poe drew her into his arms, their skin tacky as they tried to slow their breathing. Rey could feel his heart pounding just under her ear, a steady beat that matched her own.

It was a while before Poe spoke.

“Have I mentioned that I love you? Because I love you.”

She laughed, burying her face in his chest before answering, “Once or twice. But I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”

“I love you,” he said, pressing a kiss to her lips. “I love you,” he repeated, this time with a kiss to her neck. “I love you,” he added a third time, switching to the other side.

She found herself running a finger over the ring resting on his chest, warm to the touch now thanks to their earlier activities, enjoying the way it caught the dim light of the room.

“It’s for my partner,” he said, so quietly Rey thought it was in her head at first. “My mom left it to me to ‘share with the right partner.’ No pressure or anything.”

Rey continued to play with it, twisting the chain around one finger. “And you’ve never thought of giving it to anyone?” She was fishing for information, and they both knew it. But Rey had seen an opportunity, so there was no point in not taking it.

“I’ve only really been with two people.” He paused, thinking about it for a second. “Well, now three.” 

Rey’s eyebrows shot up.

Poe laughed at the expression. “Excuse you. There’s no need to look so judgmental. There’s you, Zorii, and someone I was in the Navy with.” There was another pause, Poe’s expression falling. “He died.”

“I’m so sorry, Poe.” The words felt inadequate, but they were all she had to give.

“It was a long time ago, but thank you.” He kissed her temple, letting his nose stay buried in her hair. “And to answer your question, no. I’ve never really thought of giving it to anyone.” 

Rey nodded, thinking that was the end of it. 

“Until now.”

Her head shot up to look at him, those warm brown eyes watching her carefully. 

“Until now?” she asked.

“Until now,” he repeated and sealed it with a kiss. 

A shiver went through her.

Poe pulled back, taking in the gooseflesh that had erupted all over her body. The sweat had long since dried, the heat of their coupling disappearing with it.

“Kriff, Rey you’re freezing,” he said, immediately pulling back the covers and tucking her in. 

Rey laughed at the sudden streak of protectiveness. Then again, he’d always been like this with her, hadn’t he? Even when it was the most annoying thing in the world to her. Even when she fought him every step of the way.

“Better?” he asked, burrowing under the covers with her a second later.

“Yes.” She pressed a kiss to his smiling mouth. “And thank you.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of me, even when I’m less than gracious about it.”

“So… always?” he joked, earning a swat from Rey. 

She shifted, wincing at the pinch of the pins in her hair.

Since he noticed absolutely everything, Poe asked, “You okay?”

Rey sat up. “Yeah, Rose just put like 200 pins in my hair, and now they’re jabbing me.” She reached up to massage her scalp, hand coming away with two pins.

“Here, I can help,” he said, nimble fingers starting to pick out pins with a strange alacrity. Instantly, Rey’s mind went to all the other talents displayed by those fingers that evening, the feel of them across her body, plucking each and every sigh and moan from her.

Not helping her current situation was Poe, who pressed a lingering kiss to the base of her neck, even as his fingers continued to work through her hair. It felt like all those missed kisses had been counted, and now they were making up for lost time. Not that Rey minded. 

Between the two of them, they made quick work of the actual seventy-three pins (Poe counted), and Rey was glad to settle back in his arms. It had been a long day - and an even longer night - and she found herself exhausted.

Poe’s hand absently traced over the bare skin of her arm, back and forth and back again, the subtle motion making her eyes heavier by the second. Her eyes snapped open when he abruptly stopped.

Taking in the look of confusion on his face, she asked, “What?”

“Your scar,” he answered, turning to get a better look at the meat of her arm. He ran a finger over the spot it had once claimed. “It’s gone.” That knowledge seemed to spur him on to further investigation. He brushed his finger over her cheek where the tiny scar no bigger than an eyelash had disappeared. “And the one on your cheek, too.” 

She hadn’t realized he’d been paying such close attention to her face. Then again, it had taken him long enough to notice their absence.

Rey gave a half-hearted shrug. But Poe was unable to let it go. His hand dug into her hairline. “I saw you when you came back from Exegol. You were bleeding from the head; there should be scars here.”

Gently, she stilled his hands, bringing them out of her hair.

“Yeah, the scar thing seems to be a side effect of the healing.” She ran a thumb over his own scarred knuckles. He must have gotten into a fight or two back in the day. “Or maybe the coming back from the dead? No way to be sure, really. But when I washed off that blood from Exegol, everything was gone. I’m a blank canvas.”

Poe’s eyes dropped to her naked body beneath the covers. “Well that sounds like a claim that’s begging for proof.”

Rey laughed, offering her right arm. She pointed to a completely smooth patch of skin just below her elbow. “Here is where I broke my arm falling off a half-buried freighter at 10. The bone went straight through the skin.”

Poe placed a kiss on the spot.

“And here is where I sliced my hand open on a jagged sheet of durasteel hull.” She offered up her palm and Poe applied the kiss.

She lifted up the blanket. “Took all the skin off both knees the first time I rode my speeder.”

With a spark in his eyes, Poe bent down, kissing one and then the other before coming back up to the pillows.

“And here, in the center of my back,” she said, flopping on to her stomach, “A piece of shrapnel got me when an old thermal detonator exploded in the marketplace. The merchant swore it was a dud.”

Poe’s lips trailed up her spine.

When he was finally facing her again, she traced where the small scar on her face had been. “This one, I never knew. It must have happened before, with my parents. I don’t remember much from back then.”

Poe’s eyes were soft as he pressed that final kiss to her cheek, kissing away the last of her phantom scars.

Before he could pull away, she brought her lips to his, the kiss sweet and sad in the wake of her confessions.

When Poe pulled back a second later, she traced her fingers over the gnarled band of scar tissue on his left arm.

“I could heal that for you,” she offered, keeping her voice light. 

His eyes narrowed. “But doesn’t that take something from you?”

“Yeah,” she said, not quite meeting his gaze. “But it’s not much for a scar that size.”

It looked like he was considering it for a long moment before he asked, “You’re sure?”

“Of course,” she said, already sizing up the old wound. That blaster really got him good.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked, visibly nervous. “Do I need to lay a certain way?” A pause. “Does it hurt?”

“Not really,” she said, adding  _ for you _ in her head. She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “And I just need you to hold still for a second.”

At that, she laid her palm on the scar tissue, closing her eyes and focusing on the Force within. She imagined the cells rearranging, damage disappearing, skin knitting back together, the heat on her palm telling her it was working. By the time the dull ache had set into the bones of her hand and she opened her eyes, Poe was staring at her in wonder. Sure enough, when she lifted her hand, the skin beneath was like new, tanned and smooth and perfect just like the rest of him.

Without thinking, she rubbed the ache out of her palm, Poe’s eagle eyes honing in on the movement. “I thought you said it didn’t hurt.”

“It doesn’t, not really. More like a deep ache.” He gave her a look that she ignored. “I think the words you’re looking for are ‘thank you, Rey.’”

He rolled his eyes, but smiled down at her. “Thank,” he said, dropping a soft kiss on her left cheek. “You.” He pressed another kiss onto her right cheek. “Rey,” he finished, capturing her lips with his own.

Her arms twined around his neck, one hand buried in his hair and she deepened the kiss. It took no effort at all to guide him on top of her once more, legs opening to accommodate him between them. 

“You’re already ready for round two?” he asked between kisses. 

Rey nipped at his lip. “Aren’t you?”

“I’m older than you,” he said, smirking as he kissed down her neck. “I need more time.”

Without warning, she wrapped her legs around his waist, using his own body weight to flip him on his back while she straddled his hips.

“Really?” she asked, grinding down on his obviously hard cock. “Cause a very specific part of you begs to differ.”

Poe laughed. “You’re going to kill me.”

She leaned down, her next words barely more than a whisper in his ear. “No, I’m pretty sure I’m going to fuck you.”

And she did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the lovely comments on this fic. It's really helping through this hit drought, which I know I keep bringing up, but it's bad folks. Really, really bad. So every tiny, silly word you share with me is amazing and I thank you. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, because I have a sinking feeling you aren't going to like me much after next chapter (woof, that's ominous).


	17. A Morning of Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Rey enjoy a perfect morning before a comment from Rose brings it all crashing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost THANK YOU to everyone reading and commenting and leaving kudos on this story. It's so great to see people loving it all these months into the story. Your feedback has been invaluable during this crazy time and I smile at each and every word you leave me.
> 
> Fun fact, you can thank the lovely dracosollicitus for the french toast idea (and yes, Iktotch toast is canon believe it or not!).
> 
> And a quick warning: there is some explicit content right smack in the middle of this chapter, so if it's not your thing skip from "We're quite the pair aren't we?" to the break in the middle.
> 
> Now, to my new readers and the people who have been with me a while, I'd like to reiterate that I only do happy endings. It's kind of my thing. So if it's angsty, it's definitely not the end. That being said, enjoy the chapter (and please do not murder me).

The dream started out the same as always. Rey knew her identity just long enough to think “not now” before she lost all sense of self, that punishing darkness always right on time.

But about the time the breath would be stolen from her lungs, when she’d really and truly die - yet again - something shifted, light trickling in from the edges of her vision.

With each passing second, that light grew, and with it, the memory of her self, that essential piece that was Rey and Rey alone. From that great beyond, voices reached her ears.

_ Rey. _

Her name became a chorus, repeating in voices both wholly familiar and yet completely new. 

Faces started to materialize, Rey somehow recognizing each and every Jedi who came before. The thousand generations stood before her.

They were all there to welcome her, with Luke leading the charge. She was barely a step away from their embrace, the embrace of the Force itself...

For once, the shout that ripped her from the dream was not her own.

When she woke to the quiet dark of the hotel, it took a few seconds for her to get oriented. A groan drew her attention to Poe’s sleeping form, thrashing slightly from side to side.

“Poe,” she said, a hand on his shoulder attempting to wake him. “Poe, wake up.”

He woke with a gasp, his eyes wide as he left behind whatever nightmare chased him. Rey put a hand on his chest, Poe grabbing onto it like a lifeline.

“Are you ok?” she asked, Poe’s attention turning to her face.

He sat up. “You’re crying. Why are you crying?”

She touched her face, finding that yes, she was indeed crying. Huh.

“I think they’re happy tears,” she said with a soft smile. “But we’re not talking about me.”

“Can’t seem to shake these nightmares,” he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. At her look of shock, he gave a wry smile. “Don’t look so surprised. Why do you think I was always already up when you woke screaming?”

Rey blinked.

Once again, she’d been so wrapped up in herself, she’d missed what was going on right in front of her face.

“Hey,” said Poe, seeming to sense the direction of her thoughts. He brought up a finger to trace the surely puckered skin between her brows. “No beating yourself up over something I never told you.”

“But…”

He pressed a kiss between her brows, the tension there finally fading. “Come on, now tell me why you were crying.” 

Rey knew when she was being distracted - or handled, for lack of a better term - but she also knew he’d tell her in his own time. 

So she let him take her into his arms and lay back down, her head now pillowed on his chest.

“I think when I touched the Force tree, it sparked something. I’m starting to remember more from when I died,” she said, and Poe stiffened for a second before relaxing back into a more natural position. “I wasn’t alone. I was a real Jedi after all.”

It was the true revelation of her dream. All those disparate images thrown at her on Yavin 4 had settled, rearranged into something she could understand while she slept. 

“You thought you weren’t a real Jedi?”

“Well, yeah. All signs pointed to that when, you know, I didn’t join the Force.”

Poe’s expression turned thoughtful. “You ever think that maybe you didn’t join the Force because it wasn’t really time for you to die?”

“Well, now I do,” she said, looking up into his eyes. “But for the last two years, I thought I wasn’t good enough to become one with the Force. That my connection to Ben or Palpatine had made me unworthy.”

“Kriff, Rey, you’re the most worthy person I know.”

She let those words settle over her.

Poe was so quiet for a minute that she thought he’d fallen back asleep. “I still dream about my time on the Finalizer.” Ok, so it was truth for a truth tonight. “And the Dreadnaught. And the escape to Crait. And Snap on Exegol. But tonight, it was the day Muran went down.”

Muran. The name tickled something in the back of her mind. Something he’d said when the invitation came. A light went off in her brain. “Muran. That’s who you were with in the Navy.”  _ Who you loved, _ her brain added, though he’d never actually said those words.

“Yeah. You know, he’s the reason I joined the Resistance. Well, that and the fact that I was about to get court martialed within an inch of my life for disobeying a direct order.” He smiled at his own joke, but Rey could see the sadness that remained. His eyes hid nothing from her. “We’re quite the pair aren’t we?”

She wanted to take away that pain in his eyes, heal the wounds that festered and kept him awake, but it wasn’t possible. The damage was done. They were simply living with the consequences. Though she did know one thing that certainly made him smile.

So she tilted her face up and pressed her lips to his. Let the kiss build, deepen. Let the heat between them rise. 

Poe’s hands tangled in her hair, always pulling her closer.

It felt natural to throw one leg over his hips, his hands scraping across her bare skin.

“Is this ok?” she asked, coming up for air a second later. That had nearly gotten away from her.

“Gods, yes,” he replied, sitting up to bring his mouth to her neck. 

It took a little bit of shifting, but soon enough she took Poe in hand, lining herself up before sinking down to the hilt. A shiver went through her as she reached the bottom, Poe’s lips grazing her neck and shoulders and collarbones.

When she started to move, it was slow, leisurely even, both of them simply enjoying the feel of him inside her. They had all the time in the world. There was no reason to hurry.

But as the minutes stretched on and that familiar tension started to build, Rey found herself quickening the pace, trying to chase that starlight and combustion feeling. Poe was on the same page, smiling as he thrusted up into her, meeting her movement for movement.

And then she was flying or maybe it was falling as the world burst into light and color and she buried her scream into his shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around him to keep from coming apart.

Another couple of pumps and Poe shouted his own release, stilling as he held on for dear life. Together they collapsed back onto the bed, hearts racing and sweat drying, Rey both unable and unwilling to leave his arms.

“Well good morning to you, too,” said Poe, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I should have nightmares more often.”

Rey barked out a laugh. As they let their hearts settle, Rey remembered a bit of advice from Rose. More like a command, really. 

Poe grabbed on to her arm as she started to get up, “Whoa, whoa, we do not have to get up yet.”

“Just have to pee,” she answered, distracting him long enough with a kiss to get out of bed. “I’ll be right back.”

By the time she slipped back into bed, Poe was snoring softly, his mouth open and his face slack. And as she snuggled back into his arms, she finally identified that soaring feeling in her chest. Happy. For the first time in recent memory, she was happy.

And she could get used to that.

When they woke the next time, it was from the insistent chirping of their comms.

“Make it stop,” groaned Rey, burying her face in Poe’s chest. 

Poe did just that, reaching over and slapping around until the buzzing stopped. Rey shifted in his arms, relishing the stretch and pull of her aching muscles. She settled back in, Poe kissing the top of her head as she drifted away again.

Only for the comms to start going off again.

“What?” Poe growled into the device a second later. 

Finn’s voice filled the room. “Are you two planning on getting out of bed this morning or do we have to bring breakfast to you?” 

Rey looked over at the clock at the same time Poe did. 10:10. They were supposed to meet them 10 minutes ago. 

“Shit, I lost track of time. Be down soon.”

“That have anything to do with why you’re answering Rey’s comm?”

Poe laughed, scrubbing one hand over his face. “No comment, buddy.”

“Well, get your asses down here in 20 or we’re coming up.”

They made it downstairs in 10, their hair still wet from a shared shower.

“Look what the Loth-cat dragged in,” said Finn as they took the seats across from Finn, Jannah, and Rose. 

Rey could feel Rose’s attention on her, and when she looked up, her friend’s eyes positively sparkled at her. She knew. Oh gods, she  _ knew _ .

Jannah took a sip of some fancy fruit juice in a flute. “You two look… well rested.”

Rey’s face reached its melting point.

Though she didn’t know Jannah as well as either Finn or Rose, she had instantly connected with her during their short time on Kef Bir. Even when she stole her skimmer a few minutes later. And Finn and Rose certainly seemed to like her, so that was good enough for Rey. 

“The uh, bed was certainly comfortable enough,” answered Rey, shooting what she thought was a covert glance to Poe.

Rose was not having it. “Oh, come on. We’re dying over here.”

Poe looked at Rey in silent question, a stiff nod of her head giving him the ok. 

He turned toward their friends. “We’re together.”

An embarrassingly loud shout went up as credits changed hands in a complicated three-way exchange.

“I was the one--”

“No, I said--”

“That was only if--”

Jannah turned toward Rey. “Now, did you kiss before or after that dance? Because I think that changes the percentages a bit for us.”

“Wait, did you guys bet on when we would kiss?”

Finn gave them a look. “Always.”

“Actually, it was whether or not you would dance,” added Rose. “With side action on when you’d kiss and, uh, you know.”

Rey dropped her face into her hands, laughing but mortified. 

“I don’t know whether to be offended or honored,” laughed Poe, his hand resting on her thigh. He gave it a squeeze.

“Definitely honored.” Finn was grinning like an idiot. “You two won me twenty credits.”

The waitress brought more of the fancy juice along, which turned out to have a healthy pour of that fizzy wine from last night in it.

“Are we really drinking at breakfast, now?” asked Rey, taking another sip. It was good, almost too good. Already she could feel it going straight to her head.

Rose took a hearty sip from her own glass. “It’s a whole thing here. They call it a mimosa. And it’s not breakfast, it’s brunch. There is a difference.”

Rey grinned. “And what is that?”

“At brunch, you drink,” Rose answered, reaching over to clink her glass with Rey’s. “Very important distinction.”

At that Rey burst out laughing, that new familiar feeling creeping up on her. Happy. She was wildly, incandescently, unbelievably happy. Here, with her people surrounding her and Poe’s arm resting lightly across the back of her chair, she found her family.

The morning bled into afternoon as they laughed and ate, Finn telling stories and Jannah telling bad jokes and Rose piping in every so often with an addition of her own. This is what she’d imagined all those years ago, staring up at the night sky on Jakku, aching from a loneliness she’d never been without. The laughter and chatter and five people all talking over each other, food being passed, the easy camaraderie. It was like a dream.

When the waitress came to take their orders, Poe suggested she try something called Iktotch toast, apparently a delicacy. “It’s dipped in egg and fried and dusted with this powdered sugar and smothered in syrup,” he explained. “You’ll love it.”

And she did, though it became clear pretty quickly that he had an ulterior motive to his recommendation as he stole bites right off her plate. She repaid him in kind, laughing as he tried to block her from getting a forkful of his hash.

Rey was still giggling when she looked up to find Rose watching them, a shit-eating grin on her face. She recognized that look. It was always trouble.

“So Rey,” started Rose, that look only intensifying. “I wanted to float something past you.”

Rey eyed her warily. “Ok.”

“We were wondering,” she said, Rey a little unsure which “we” Rose was referring to, “if you’d be interested in heading up a new temple on Yavin 4. There’s been a lot of interest of late, Force sensitives coming out of the woodwork. And with the Senate and flight school both going in, not to mention that Force tree, we thought it would be a good fit.”

Poe stiffened in his seat. Weird.

She shook her head. “That’s a lovely offer, but Tatooine is home. I couldn’t just pick up and leave.”

Next to her, Poe was shaking his head furiously at Rose.

But Rose just looked confused for a second before going on completely undeterred. “But with Poe at the flight school, I just figured…” she trailed off, seeing something on Rey’s face. “Oh, no.”

Rey’s mind went blank, heart beating so fast she could hear it in her ears as she turned toward Poe. “You’re leaving me?”

“And on that note,” said Finn, getting to his feet and dragging Jannah and Rose with him, “we’re gonna let you two talk. We’ll settle the bill on our way out.”

They were gone a second later, leaving Rey and her rapidly beating heart to face Poe alone. “Poe?” she asked, every ounce of heartbreak and betrayal fitting into that single word.

Poe looked down. “Rey, I was going to tell you.”

Her breath caught in her chest at his admission, tears pricking at her eyes. “You were going to leave me.” Without quite knowing what she was doing, she stood, heading for the door of the restaurant.

Poe followed. “No, that’s not… Rey, I would never just leave you,” he called after her, finally catching up to her in the lobby. “Come on, wait.” He grabbed her arm to stop her from running, Rey shaking him off immediately. “Please just let me explain.”

She folded her arms over her chest. “Then explain.”

Poe blinked at the frost in her tone. “Let’s not do this out here. We can go up to the room--”

“No, let’s do this right here, right now.”

Poe swallowed audibly. “I was going to ask you. To come with me.”

“And if I said no? What then?” She hated the way her voice broke on that last word, hated how weak it made her sound. “It certainly sounded like you have your mind made up.”

He didn’t seem to have an answer for that.

“How long?” she finally asked. “How long have you known?”

His eyes drifted to the floor, unable to meet hers in the bright light of the lobby. “Since the other day at the temples. They asked me to head up the flight school, and I couldn’t say no.”

A sob built in her throat, twin trails of tears making their way down her cheeks when she closed her eyes. She swallowed it down. “Two days. You’ve been keeping this from me for two days?”

“I didn’t know how to bring it up. And then everything happened between us…” He outstretched a hand for her, Rey taking a step back out of his reach. 

“No.”

The word sounded final to them both.

“Please, Rey,” he begged, his face screwed up in misery.

“We should go,” she said, ignoring the cracked and broken heart aching in her chest. “Long trip and all.”

And with that, she turned her back to him and got onto the turbolift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you guys Monday! *runs and hides*


	18. A Long Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go from bad to worse on the trip back from Coruscant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I thank you for your kind words and for sticking with this fic even though I threw a bit of an angsty wrench in it. I swear this is the last chapter of full angst.

The trip back to Yavin 4 was silent. And not the comfortable silence of friends or lovers or even acquaintances, but the tense silence of barely restrained ire.

Kes gave it his all, trying no less than three times to strike up the easy conversation they’d enjoyed on the trip to Coruscant before giving up in the face of their one-word answers. Even the droids kept out of the cockpit, busying themselves in the main hold away from the strange, uneven moods of the humans. And Kes joined them in the back a few minutes later, no longer able to stand the suffocating tension shared between Poe and Rey.

Rey focused on the swirling blue of hyperspace, trying not to think about the empty ache of her chest.

Even as she tried to keep her mind blank, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts dwell on the irony of it. The first time she trusts someone with her heart, and he betrays her almost immediately after. Hells, not even after; he betrayed her a full day before. Maybe it wasn’t irony, just shitty luck and bad taste in men.

She had no control over the tears that streamed down her face. 

“Rey,” said Poe from the co-pilot’s seat, concern laced through his voice. “Are you okay?”

“What do you think?” she snapped. She took a shaky breath, wiping away the traitorous tears roughly with the heel of her hand. “No, I’m not okay. And you don’t get to ask me that anymore.”

Poe’s face fell. “Come on, that isn’t fair.”

“Fair?” Rey laughed, the sound bitter and hard to her own ears. “I’ll tell you what’s not fair. That you,” she looked over her shoulder to make sure Kes was out of earshot, her next words coming out as a stage whisper, “slept with me knowing full well that you were leaving Tatooine.”

Poe rubbed his face with one hand. “Come on, give me a little more credit than that. I just assumed you’d come with me.”

“You assumed wrong.” She stood, walking toward the back of the cockpit. “Call me when it’s time to drop out of hyperspace.”

She didn’t wait for his assent. Didn’t need it.

Rey found BB-8 plugged into the Dejarik table, facing off a very frustrated Kes as D-O looked on. 

“Oh come on!” said Kes, as BeeBee made a particularly ruthless move.

Rey smiled. “He cheats. We all know that.”

BB-8 gave her a beep that said “who, me?”

“Yes, you.” 

Kes shook his head, a small smile on his lips. 

BB-8 rolled back toward the cockpit in a huff, D-O following as usual.

“Join me,” said Kes, gesturing toward the seat across from him. He reset the game.

Rey did, hitting a few buttons to choose her pieces. They made their first few moves in silence.

As Kes examined the board after her last move, he asked lightly, “So, you and Poe?”

She ground her teeth together. “Yeah?”

“I take it something happened there.” He hit a button, one of his pieces hopping forward three spaces to demolish one of her own.

She chose her next move. “Yes. But it’s over now.”

“That quick? That’s got to be a new record, even for Poe.”

She realized her mistake right before Kes took out another one of her pieces. Rookie move.

Kes seem to be thinking along the same lines. “You’re off your game, Jedi.”

Rey took a deep breath, scrubbing her hands over her face. “I know.”

“Listen, Poe-”

“I’m sorry, Kes, but I really don’t want to hear more excuses.”

“Please just hear me out, mija.”

Rey softened at the endearment, giving Kes a firm nod.

“Poe likes to think he knows best for everybody. It comes from a good place, I swear, but sometimes it means he oversteps or does something completely stupid when he’s really just trying to help. Plus, he’s terrible with women.” At Rey’s tentative smile, his hand crossed the table to squeeze one of hers, arm going straight through the holographic pieces. “Something tells me that’s what happened here. Now, I’m not saying you have to forgive him, but maybe just hear him out.”

Poe had struck a nerve, pressed on a long buried wound that immediately reopened. Never again would she allow herself to be the one left behind. 

Rey gently removed her hand from Kes’s. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

His face fell, but he nodded, thankfully not willing to push her any further. 

Another two moves and Rey was down to her last piece. Taking quick stock of the board, she made her final move, one that proved to be fatal.

With a sigh, Kes hit the button, his piece wrestling hers to the board.

Game over.

They touched down on Yavin 4 two hours later.

“Come on,” Kes was saying as they walked him down the ramp. “Stay the night. It’s another, what? 10 hours to Tatooine. Sleep here and start fresh in the morning.”

Poe looked to Rey for an answer. Of course, now she’d have to be the bad guy.

Rey shook her head. “I think we should just power through. We’ve been gone too long.”

There was no mistaking the disappointment on Kes’s face. But he recovered quickly, dragging Poe into a crushing hug.

Guilt bubbled in her gut as she watched the two men embrace, warring with her own need to get home. Before they parted, Kes whispered something into Poe’s ear, Poe nodding furiously. When he finally pulled away, Poe swiped at his eyes, not meeting Rey’s steady gaze as he trudged back onto the ship.

Rey swallowed.

“Come here,” said Kes, pulling her into his arms. 

She hugged him fiercely, that same feeling coming over as the first time she’d been here. The love of a father. 

He whispered in her ear, “I hope to see you again, mija.”

Tears sprang to her eyes.

“Think about what I said,” he finished, pulling back a second later. 

Her voice was barely more than a whisper when she answered, “Thank you.” She turned to walk back up the ramp.

“And Rey?” 

She turned, finding Kes smiling at her. 

“No matter what happens, you always have a home on Yavin 4.”

She couldn’t do much more than nod, but he got the drift.

The next hours were the longest of her life.

They didn’t speak, except for the most basic exchanges. 

“Course set?”

“Yup. Sensors all clear?”

“Uh-huh.”

And on and on and on.

Luckily, the Falcon had no lack of things to fix, so Rey busied herself with repairs that she otherwise wouldn’t have had the time to complete. Upgrading the sub-alternators. Tweaking the sensors. Tightening all the bolts on the compressor housing.

She tried not to think about what an alternate version of her and Poe would be doing right now, if he hadn’t gone and ruined everything. It definitely had something to do with that giant bunk in the main cabin. And maybe the Dejarik table, if they could figure out how to occupy the droids elsewhere.

Rey shook her head as if that could remove the images from her head. The memories of his hands on her body. That moment of ecstasy before release.

Her hands shook as she tried to open a panel. This line of thinking would get her nowhere.

An eternity later, Poe called her back into the cockpit for the drop out of hyperspace. They brought her down with no issue, the easy way they worked together no different even when they weren’t speaking.

She got up, not acknowledging him as she left the cockpit and later the Falcon. 

“Rey!” he called out, running down the ramp to try to catch her. Rey kept walking. Through the sand. Into the homestead. Poe finally caught her in the courtyard.

“Come on, are you ever going to talk to me again?”

Rey stopped abruptly, turning to face him. “Go on then, talk.”

Poe blinked at the sudden about-face, but recovered quickly enough. “I was going to tell you. I wanted to ask you to come with me, when the time was right.”

“When the time was right.” She hated how bitter her voice sounded, but there was no fixing it. “And when exactly was that?”

“As soon as we got back from Coruscant.”

“But you’d already accepted.” She crossed her arms.

Poe sighed, knowing he was caught. “Yes.”

It was one word, but it broke her heart. A final confirmation of her worst fear.

“Kriff, Poe. I thought you liked it here. I thought you liked me.”  _ I thought you loved me _ , that traitorous portion of her brain supplied.

His face crumpled. “I love you, Rey, but I’m not even sure  _ you  _ like it here. What is this place, besides a fucking place to hide?” She could see the regret on his face as soon as the words left his mouth. But there was no taking them back. For her, there was no going back.

“A home. We made a home here.” She was crying and she hated herself for it.

“We can have a home on Yavin,” he said, voice pleading with her to listen. He reached for her hands. “Our family is there.”

Rey jerked out of his grasp. “No,  _ your  _ family is there.”

“And where do you think Rose and Finn and Jannah will be once the Senate complex is complete?”

She hadn’t thought of that. But it was no matter. The damage had been done. “I think you should go.”

“What?” The shock and terror on his face nearly broke her, but she stayed strong.

“I said, I think you should go. You obviously don’t want to be here. And I don’t want to keep you from your real life any longer.”

“Rey, please.” He reached out a hand again, and Rey took a step back. He let it drop along with the expression on his face. 

She listened as his footsteps faded away, her own breath ragged in her ears. 

Distantly, Rey could hear the shuffling of clothes as he packed, one side of a conversation with BB-8 reaching her across the house.

“Yeah, I know buddy.”

“No, I guess not.”

“Of course.”

Rey found herself beyond thought. For once, her mind was a complete blank.

Numb. That was the word.

It could have been minutes or hours before Poe emerged, one bag slung across his chest and another on his shoulder. Their entire life together in two bags.

“I want you to know that I love you,” he said, his voice flat. “And that I’m sorry.”

Rey said nothing.

“BB-8 and D-O agreed to stay here with you.”

“What, so you can keep tabs on me?” she snapped.

“So you aren’t alone.”

Rey blinked. That certainly took the wind from her sails.

Poe’s face softened, approaching her slowly enough to give her time to pull away. “Goodbye, Rey.” She let him place a soft kiss on her forehead. He must have nearly been to the door when he stopped to say his parting words to her. “And for the record, this place was never home. You were.”

She waited until the door clicked shut behind him to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. On a much happier note, I'll be posting the last two chapters simultaneously on Wednesday!
> 
> Let me know what you think?


	19. A Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey mulls over her decisions before a surprise return brings about a happy reunion. Later, decisions for the future are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bittersweet day for me. Glad to have finished another story, but really sad to see this particular one go. And that's thanks to everyone who read and commented and left kudos on this. You guys were amazing and it pushed me forward during the early chapters when I literally had no clue where to go with this. So thank you. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy this final chapter and the tiny epilogue, and that this story brightened your day during this crazy time. 
> 
> A warning; there is a very short sex scene in this, so if it's not your thing skip from "“I think that can be arranged,” he said, and set about doing just that." to "She giggled as he lazily kissed along her jaw, turning her head a second later to capture his lips in her own." It's about three paragraphs.

Rey found herself in the courtyard, unable to move. If she moved, if she went on with her day, that would mean it was true, Poe was really gone.

He’d called her bluff.

Because that’s what it had been. A bluff. She hadn’t actually expected him to walk out. 

But wasn’t this her MO? When she got scared, she lashed out, with words, with the Force, it didn’t really matter what her weapon of choice was. She’d been afraid, vulnerable for the first time in years, and she attacked.

She wasn’t sure what hurt more, that she’d kicked him out or the fact that he’d actually listened. Hells, he barely even put up a fight.

It was like he was proving that most basic fact about her: Rey was the person you left. 

Her parents. Han. Luke. Leia. Everyone she loved, or tried to love, left her behind. She supposed she should be grateful he was still alive. Most people who got close to her weren’t that lucky.

In a daze, she dropped on to that ragged old couch, trying not to think of all the nights they’d spent telling stories with the stars overhead. That was when she began to cry in earnest, deep, gulping sobs that wracked her entire body. With no other soul there, she wrapped her arms around her middle, as if her own two hands were the only thing holding her together. 

Time passed. It could have been minutes or hours. All she knew is that it was night now. Or had it always been night? She honestly couldn’t be sure.

At some point, she’d reclined on the sofa, her gaze trained on the stars while one bare foot grazed the floor. Strange, she hadn’t remembered taking off her shoes.

A soft nudge to her calf drew her attention to the floor, D-O’s little cone face staring up at her.

“Yes?” she asked, knowing she’d wait forever for him to speak first.

“W-where’s Poe?”

Rey swallowed down the tears that threatened to resurge at his words. “He doesn’t live here anymore.”

D-O waited a second before declaring that, “Sad,” in his matter-of-fact way. 

She thought that was the end of it, but the little droid rolled closer. Close enough to touch. 

“I-I miss him,” he admitted, and Rey’s heart - what was left of it - gave a lurch.

She lifted her hand, giving him a little pat like she’d seen Poe do. To her great surprise, he didn’t roll away.

“Me too, buddy. Me, too.”

Sooner or later, she fell asleep. Or maybe she just lost consciousness. Either way, she was not awake for an indeterminate amount of time. Her time spent dormant, while not exactly restful, was at least a brief respite from the agonizing pain of being awake. And completely devoid of dreams, both good and bad.

At BB-8’s insistence, she got up. Changed her clothes. Chugged some caf. 

It was another day of relentless heat. Just like every other day on Tatooine. She walked around in a daze, every nook and cranny of the farm filled with the ghosts of Poe. The kitchen, where she’d pulled her saber on him that first night. The night he fell in love with her. The courtyard couch, where they spent hours sipping tea and not sleeping. Vaporator 20, where she’d seen him in his glasses for the very first time. The spot where his ship used to be parked.

But none more than her own bedroom, where they’d spent nights in each other’s arms.

With every step it became more and more apparent. She didn’t have a single memory of this place from before Poe got here. It was like time didn’t exist at all, just a slog of days she had to survive until Poe arrived on her doorstep.  She’d found one moment of peace here almost two years ago and she’d spent every moment since trying to cling on to that feeling.

He was right. This wasn’t her home. There was nothing here she couldn’t live without. Except Poe. 

Once again, she found herself on that couch with her head in her hands. 

BB-8 beeped at her feet.

“No, I’m not okay,” she answered. He really could be a bit of a mother hen when he wanted to be. 

He continued to beep and buzz at her, Rey’s brain slow to translate the binary to basic. “Landing? What are you talking about landing?”

He repeated, slowing down enough that a toddler could understand. 

Rey blinked. And checked the math. But BB-8 was right, given hyperspace routes and current conditions, Poe would be landing on Yavin 4 right about now. 

She needed to find her comm, needed to tell him that she’d made an awful mistake, beg him to come back. Or better yet, she’d meet him there. Pack a bag and the droids and see him in another 10 hours. 

“Thank you, BB-8,” she said, dropping a kiss on his dome. It wasn’t her imagination that the droid preened a bit.

She was halfway to the kitchen when the door opened. Rey turned.

Sunlight streamed in, so bright she could only make out the outline of the unmistakable figure in the doorway. 

“Poe.” His name was no more than a breath on her lips.

He took a step instead, his features coming in to focus.

Hair messy, beard scraggly, forehead creased, and eyes baggy, he looked like she felt. Like shit. He looked like shit.

Poe surged forward at the same time Rey did. “I’m so sorry--”

“I don’t know what I was thinking--”

“--I was halfway to Yavin and I turned around--”

“--Never should have told you to leave--”

They collided somewhere in the middle. 

“I should have told you as soon as I got the offer,” he said, wrapping her into his arms. It felt so good, she didn’t even care he smelled a little funky after nearly two days on various ships. In fact, she buried her face in his neck.

“And I should have listened when you tried to explain.” She leaned back, looking in to his eyes.

“I was afraid,” they both blurted at the same time, dissolving into laughter a second later.

Poe rested her forehead against hers. “Aren’t we a pair?”

“You think Rose, Finn, and Jannah have a pool going on first fight?” Rey brought her hand to cup his cheek, her thumb stroking back and forth against that rough beard.

“I’d be disappointed if they didn’t.”

Rey watched as his tongue darted out, tracing the line of his lower lip before disappearing again. This time, she decided to chase it.

Surging up, she brought her lips to his, her tongue tracing the same path until he opened for her.

When his lips parted, it was a spark erupting into flame. Without warning he was walking her back, the backs of her knees hitting the couch a second later. She tumbled over, bringing him with her, Poe wasting no time divesting her of tunic and pants. He practically tore his own clothes off in his haste to be naked, rejoining her on the couch in no time.

He worked that spot behind her ear with his mouth, all of Rey’s thoughts flying right out the window. But something niggled at the back of her brain, a light going off a second later. 

“Poe,” she said, trying to concentrate as he switched sides. 

“Mmmhmmm,” he said into her neck, the vibrations making her mind go blank again.

But only for a second. “The droids,” she managed to get out between kisses. “We can’t do this in front of the droids.”

“They went running as soon as we started kissing.” Poe paused in his ministrations long enough to look down at her, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear with a practiced gentleness. “I want you to know that I’ll stay here as long as you need to. I go where you go.”

At that, Rey dragged him back down by the ring around his neck.

“Can I take that as a ‘yes?’” he laughed when they came up for air a few minutes later.

She smiled, knowing that he needed to hear it. “Yes. Now can we please stop talking?”

“I think that can be arranged,” he said, and set about doing just that.

A second later he was pushing in, Rey’s gasp loud in the quiet of the courtyard. This time they went anything but slow, Poe pulsing into her at a pace that was as punishing as it was pleasurable. Her hands scrabbled across his back, trying to find purchase as the world faded around her. There was nothing but Poe - the scent of his sweat, the ripple of his muscles, the feel of him between her thighs.

There wasn’t much room to maneuver, but she tried her best to meet him stroke for stroke on the narrow couch. She could recognize the beginnings of her orgasm in the curling of her toes and the flex and release of her stomach muscles, but the feeling was just out of reach. So she dipped one hand between them to help herself along, strumming at her clit while Poe trailed kisses along her collarbones and chest. 

She was close, oh so close, when Poe switched to short, powerful movements, the change in angle sending her over the edge. Rey cried out, Poe groaning as he body pulsed around him. It was a few rough pumps before his hips stuttered and he finished a second later, the couch so tiny there was nowhere for him to collapse but on top of her. 

She giggled as he lazily kissed along her jaw, turning her head a second later to capture his lips in her own. Though she wanted to stay like this in his arms forever, between the two suns shining down on them and the weight and warmth of Poe’s body, the heat quickly became oppressive.

“Hold on,” she said, shifting so he could slide next to her on the couch. It was a tight fit, and still a lot closer than she’d like in this heat, but they made it work. 

Poe’s fingers absently carded through her hair as they dozed in the post-sex glow. They would need to find shade soon or risk sunburns on some very sensitive areas, but Rey found her limbs too heavy to move just yet. If Poe’s even breathing was any indication, he agreed.

“Hey, Poe,” she said a minute later. “You awake?”

She couldn’t see him, but based off the sleepy way he answered, “Mmhmm,” it was a close thing.

Rey was undeterred. “Remember when you said that you’d go wherever I go?”

“Mmmhmm,” he answered again, half asleep. “Meant it.”

“What if I wanted to go to Yavin? For good.”

She felt Poe’s entire body jerk. He was suddenly very, very awake. “What?”

“You were right.” Rey twisted carefully so they were face to face, Poe’s grip on her the only thing keeping her from falling off the edge of the couch. “This place isn’t home. It never was. You are.”

Poe blinked, but he couldn’t hide the naked hope in his eyes. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to leave here for me.” 

“I hate sand,” she blurted, earning a laugh from Poe. “And I miss showers, real showers with water. And if I have to spend another day in this relentless sunshine, I’m going to lose my damn mind.” She brought her hand up to cup his cheek, letting her thumb trace back and forth in his beard. “I want to live someplace with green and rain and our friends and your family, not this barren wasteland. And most of all, I want to live someplace with you.”

Poe smiled at her, his eyes shiny with tears. “I think we can manage that,” he said, leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose. “And if after a day or a month or a year, you decide you don’t like Yavin, we’ll find another planet, and another one after that until you figure out which one you like best.”

“You really mean that?” Something deep down told her that it would never come to that, that Yavin would be it for them, but just the fact that he offered…

“Every word,” he said, his eyes never leaving her own. She could feel the truth in it.

Rey smiled, leaning forward to press her lips to his.

It felt good to be home.


	20. An Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief postscript.

Rey walked around the old Skywalker Homestead with an appraising eye. The new tenants - a sweet young couple looking for a quiet life away from the Core - would be here in a few hours, and she wanted everything to be perfect. Well, as perfect as it could be with all this sand.

Nearly two years here (at least for her) and it had barely taken two weeks for them to pack up their lives and tie all their loose ends into a neat little bow. It was almost too easy to leave.

But as she ambled through the empty rooms, she found herself tearing up. This place had become a sort of refuge, a port in the storm of her life. Not quite home - that distinction was saved for Poe - but the place she healed. The place she fell in love. Rey blinked away the unexpected tears.

That’s how Poe found her a few minutes later, his arms twining around her waist from behind. “You okay?” he asked, pressing an extra smooth kiss to her cheek thanks to that freshly shaven face.

“Yeah,” she replied, spinning around in his arms so they were face to face. “I just didn’t realize it would be so hard to leave.”

“Moving on is always hard,” he said, rather diplomatically, though she knew for a fact that he was counting down the seconds until they were back on Yavin 4.

It was all arranged. Poe’s job heading up the newest Republic’s flight school. Rey and Finn starting up an academy to train the Force sensitives of the galaxy. Rose overseeing the construction of the Senate complex before assuming her new role at its head. Even Jannah would be there heading up a newly founded organization to help former stormtroopers find their families.

She and Poe would stay with Kes until they finished construction on their own little house, an adorable little two story on the edge of the Dameron property. A home. With her family.

“The droids are waiting on the ship. Are you ready, Mrs. Dameron?” he asked, bringing her left hand up for a kiss. It landed directly on the shining silver band on her third finger.

Rey smiled at the new name. For a girl who once had only one, she seemed to be collecting them these days.

Rey Palpatine. Rey Skywalker. Rey Dameron. The girl who was left behind. The young woman who tried to rise from the ashes and got stuck. The grown woman who was ready to move on and start her life in earnest.

There had been no reason not to make it official the last time they’d been on Yavin 4. There would be a giant party later, complete with cake and a fancy white dress that Rey hated and as many guests as the farm could hold, but she had wanted the official ceremony to be just them. With Kes as witness, of course.

On Tatooine, she looked up toward the sky, awash in the pinks and oranges of the setting suns. It truly was pretty. She’d fallen in love under those Tatooine suns, found her family under their punishing rays. And she’d be forever grateful to this place because of it. But it was time to go.

“Lead the way, Mr. Dameron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all she wrote! I hope you enjoyed reading this half as much as I enjoyed writing it.


End file.
